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put him in panties

Chapter 2: Lingerie for Men

In the previous chapter, we looked at the wealth of connotations that women's underwear holds for the average man - far more than you might appreciate from the rather different perspective of wearing it yourself on a daily basis. We discussed how a man donning lingerie, whether with enthusiasm or more reluctantly, finds himself inexorably influenced by the profoundly feminine associations such garments are imbued with, and how this in turn affects both his attitude and his behaviour - in a distinctly positive manner! Finally, we illustrated a number of ways in which this phenomenon can be used to the benefit of a loving relationship, both in the bedroom and beyond. We'll be exploring the practical details of exactly how you can achieve such results yourself in the subsequent chapters of this book.

For now, however, it's worth taking a moment to consider exactly what we're talking about here. In truth, there are actually several interrelated aspects of having a man wear lingerie, which can be broadly divided into three main categories depending on whether the principal effect of his attire is one of arousal, atonement or acquiescence. Although all three may be present to a greater or lesser extent, precisely how you go about putting your husband in panties affects which takes precedence, channelling the feminine forces involved down different directions depending on the desired outcome. Whether you have him wear women's underwear to turn him on, to punish him for letting you down, or simply to instil more general discipline, the same fundamental principles are involved throughout, however much their effects may differ - just as the lingerie he wears can vary from a skimpy thong to a heavily boned basque, yet retain its unique femininity and power over the man wearing it.

Firstly, there is what we'll be referring to as erotic feminization - having your husband wear sexy lingerie in an intimate context in order to spice up your lovemaking. Here, the emphasis is placed on the sexual aspects of such underwear, taking the inherent arousal a man instinctively feels at the sight of lingerie on a lady and reflecting it back upon himself. Clad only in feminine attire, and with an enthusiastic partner encouraging him to be as naughty as the outfit she's dressed him in, it's hard for a man not to feel sexy and turned on in such a situation - to the benefit of both parties! Of course, having your husband wear lingerie also has the side effect of engendering a more submissive attitude in him, which can just as easily be turned to your advantage, not least in the form of extended foreplay and an increased openness to other sexual experimentation.

Secondly, making your husband wear women's underwear may be used as a means for him to atone for previous misdemeanours, with the threat of having to do so again acting as a deterrent against him misbehaving in future. The discomfort, both physical and psychological, of having to wear such feminine attire takes centre stage here, with any erotic aspects being overwhelmed by feelings of embarrassment, awkwardness and shame. If he is expected to wear a bra and panties in public, there is the additional anxiety about being caught in such a humiliating predicament, however vanishingly small the chances of discovery may actually be. Even in private, the unfamiliar tactile sensations of such underwear can be quite sufficient to teach him a lesson, especially if the garments in question are chosen with the deliberate aim of being uncomfortable and awkward. We'll be calling this practice lingerie punishment henceforth¹.

Finally, lingerie may be worn by a man on a more regular basis as a symbol of submission to his wife. Once again, the erotic aspects of such clothing take a secondary place for the most part, but this time there's no sense of him having to atone for anything by wearing it, nor that he's being punished when he does so. Nevertheless, a man wearing lingerie for this purpose is constantly aware of his intimate attire, which serves to keep in line as he goes about his daily business. It exerts its influence in the form of an ever present reminder of why he is wearing such clothing, encouraging him to behave himself and respect his wife - even in her absence! As such, this practice is known as lingerie discipline or lingerie training, although the terms used may also reflect the particular garment used to teach a man self-control, for example bra discipline or panty training.

Of course, you don't have to adopt all of these techniques, nor need you restrict yourself to just one of them - as we'll reiterate throughout the course of this book, you're free to pick and choose whatever works for you. In practice, the boundaries between them tend to blur into one another - a man who has to wear panties to work as a punishment may find himself appreciating them more in the bedroom that evening. Equally, a couple who begin fooling around with lingerie as nothing more than a sexy game may discover it develops into something rather more serious over time - perhaps with the man having separate playtime and punishment attire, each conveying a quite different meaning. As we'll see later, even a man who actively enjoys wearing women's underwear is not immune to its corrective effects when employed for lingerie discipline or chastisement, but the latter need not spoil the pleasure he derives from it on other occasions. Regardless of the situation, lingerie leaves the woman in control, allowing her to take proceedings in the direction she sees fit.

^[1] Rather confusingly, such treatment is sometimes referred to elsewhere as petticoat punishment or petticoating, with a man subject to it said to be petticoated, even though actual petticoats are rarely involved. Sadly, much of what is written in association with such phrases must be taken with a healthy pinch of salt, being grounded more in fantasy than reality - using the term lingerie punishment here helps to draw a clear distinction between the practical and the implausible.

What are the benefits of him wearing lingerie?

If you're never really considered the possibility of dressing your husband up in women's underwear before, you may still be wondering what's in it for you and your relationship. Although the practical benefits of erotic feminization and lingerie discipline are self-evident to anyone who has been practising them for any length of time, it can be difficult to fully appreciate just how much of an effect such techniques can have on your husband until you've tried them for yourself. Imagine:

• a husband who is softer and gentler

  Whether it's in the bedroom or out on the town, wearing lingerie has a remarkably pacifying effect on a man. The profoundly feminine associations of such garments get to work as soon as he steps into them, subtly yet inexorably influencing him to be kinder and more considerate - wherever he may be. Just as he wouldn't want to go tearing around in an expensive suit, such careless rough and tumble being sure to damage it, so too does the delicate nature of women's underwear have a similarly calming effect on its wearer. He may not be able to put a finger on precisely what it is about his lingerie that affects him so much, but its effects are undeniable nonetheless - all without any effort on your part.

• a husband who is less aggressive and more courteous

  Although there's nothing wrong with being manly, sometimes men don't know when to stop, letting their testosterone take them places they're sure to regret in the cold light of day. It's natural for a man to want to be protective of his territory, but assertiveness can go too far, becoming aggressive confrontation rather than understanding compromise. That's when his lingerie comes to the fore - even if no-one else knows what he's got on under his outerwear, his secret attire will be sure to tame any testosterone driven excesses. It's hard for a man to be too masculine when he's all dolled up in pretty underwear, with a simple reminder of what he's wearing all that's needed to put a stop to any unwanted aggression or unpleasant attitude.

• a husband with a greater understanding of what it's like to be a woman

  Many men have little or no appreciation of the kind of problems their wives have to deal with merely by virtue of their sex. From the ogling of lecherous perverts to the bother of snagged stockings, a woman in today's society faces all manner of annoyances on an everyday basis - headaches her husband simply has no inkling of until he's faced them himself. Although it's impossible to convey the totality of the female experience merely by dressing a man up, it's still possible to give him an appreciation for certain aspects of it - whether that's worrying about whether he's showing a visible panty line, or simply having a greater understanding of why it takes so long for his wife to get ready when they go out. Trying to control a heaving bosom as his padded bra interferes with doing the chores teaches a man a great deal about the reality of having breasts, whereas an enhanced knowledge of women's fashion never goes amiss - whether you're out shopping, or simply wanting feedback on an outfit.

• a husband who is more respectful to women in general

  It's far harder for a man to dismiss women as nothing more than sex objects when he knows exactly what it's like to be in their position. Crude banter about big busted bimbos will be a thing of the past once he's experienced the reality of being so well endowed for a few hours, with the assumption that women's bodies are merely there for his pleasure soon evaporating with the realisation that breasts are far more than just eye candy to their owner. Men often feel as though they've joined a secret club once they've worn lingerie, albeit as junior members who lack the natural grace of those born into it. The subtle control such garments exert over a man is, by extension, shared by all those who wear similar clothing as a birthright, leading to greater respect for women as a whole - even those who know nothing about his intimate attire.

• a husband with fewer bad habits

  It's not uncommon for a man to have a few rough edges, especially after he's been in a relationship for a while. Once the novelty of being together wears off, your husband may well start to take liberties he wouldn't dream of when he was first wooing you as a future wife. Not only may he feel he doesn't need to impress you as much, as you come to know your husband better you may discover aspects that would benefit from a little polishing. Either way, whether he's putting on weight, staying out too late drinking, or paying insufficient attention to his personal hygiene, the threat of having to wear embarrassing or uncomfortable lingerie can provide just the motivation he needs to shape up. A corset may be an unconventional dieting tool, but it certainly works!

• a husband who takes fewer risks

  Wearing lingerie may be sensual and erotic in the privacy of the bedroom, but having to explain his unorthodox attire to an officer of the law is quite a different matter - a roadside pat-down sure to reveal his embarrassing secret. If you're concerned that your husband's reckless driving will one day get him in trouble, simply have him wear something feminine before he gets behind the wheel - he'll be the model driver as he goes out of his way to avoid any unwarranted attention from authority. Similarly, he'll find getting drunk far less attractive when doing so runs the risk of his drinking buddies discovering what he's wearing underneath - his stockings and suspenders far from the manly image of downing ten pints with the lads before stumbling home.

• a husband who is more submissive and respects his wife's authority

  Donning feminine underwear at the request of his wife is an inherently submissive act for a man, requiring him to acquiesce, however reluctantly, to wearing it for her. Doing so leaves him in an incredibly vulnerable position, one which is compounded by the knowledge that he has given his consent to it. Although a loving wife would never hurt or humiliate her husband, allowing himself to be feminized by her places him at her mercy, and in doing so, implicitly acknowledges her authority in other matters too. It's hard for him to forget his earlier submission when his underwear constantly reminds him of it, cementing her place in their relationship as someone whose opinions and authority should be respected in all areas - not just what he wears.

• a husband who is closer and more intimate

  There are few things more intimate than sexy underwear, and that's certainly the case when the man is the one wearing it for his wife. The naughty secret they share together is something that certainly won't be going outside their relationship, an erotic game that's strictly between the two of them. In the intimacy of the bedroom, his lingerie adds spice to their most private of moments, bringing them closer in ways that only they will ever know about. Even when they're apart, she's never far from his heart - the thought of what he's wearing for her keeps them close, however distant she may be. The caress of nylon, satin and lace against his body reminds him of their special times together with every rub of his stockings or pull of his bra straps, quite apart from making things special when they're alone with each other.

• a husband who is more responsive to his wife's needs and desires

  Adopting women's underwear in place of more masculine garments not only makes a man more considerate and respectful towards his wife, it also encourages him to be more sensitive and understanding of her needs. Combined with the insights that such intimate attire gives him into matters feminine and the effect it has on his attitude and behaviour, it also provides the motivation to do the right thing by her and their marriage - whether as a means to appreciate and atone for letting her down, or as a more regular addition to his wardrobe. It should come as no surprise that a man who submits to lingerie discipline becomes far more responsive to his wife's needs and desires as a result, placing her at the very centre of their world - right where she belongs!

• a husband who remains faithful

  It's a sad fact that some men find themselves tempted to stray by the alluring promise of forbidden fruit - the illicit attraction of other women proving too much for those of a less principled disposition. Not so for the man who wears lingerie for his wife - for him, the thought of dropping his trousers loses all appeal when doing so will reveal his pretty panties to a potential paramour. She'll hardly be interested in him once she discovers that his wife makes him wear a bra and stockings too, but it's unlikely things will ever get that far - he'll go out of his way to keep such an embarrassing secret to himself, rather than risk becoming the talk of the town. Even a wandering eye is easily tamed once a man's put in panties - a quick reminder that he's similarly attired to the young ladies he's admiring is all it takes to bring him back down to earth.

• a husband who helps with the household chores

  Once a man's used to wearing lingerie, it's easy to have him wear an apron too. The submissive state of mind such attire engenders is perfect for helping out around the house, overcoming the resistance that many men have towards doing the chores. Whether it's washing the dishes or dealing with the laundry, it never hurts to have a helping hand, allowing the lady of the house to put her feet up and relax while her feminized husband takes the load off her shoulders. Some women take things even further and enjoy having a fully fledged maid at their beck and call, without any of the expense of a more traditional cleaner.

• a husband who is charged with sexual energy

  Let's not forget that lingerie, despite its many practical applications, is still intensely erotic - far more so than anything else a man might wear. Its mere presence serves to amply the sexual tension of even the most mundane of situations, let alone those that are already erotically charged. Something as simple as a shopping trip can take on a whole new meaning for a man who finds his legs clad in clinging nylon, the unfamiliar sensation of women's hosiery teasing him with every step, let alone more active arousal. Like a battery, such sexual energy can be kept on tap until it's needed, finally released in the high voltage sparks of the bedroom.

It's worth remembering that such benefits are far from being one-sided. Although a man who dons lingerie at the behest of his wife may initially be rather sceptical about the advantages of doing so, over time he too is sure to appreciate the effects that such attire has - both on his relationship with his wife, but also on himself as a person. It would be a rare man who would say no to having more fun in the bedroom, but as we shall see later, many men would also sorely welcome the opportunity to develop greater willpower, divest themselves of less appealing habits and improve themselves in the process - all things that can be achieved through wearing lingerie so long as a man can be persuaded to keep an open mind about its possibilities.

Why is having him wear lingerie so effective?

Is there anything else, be it clothing or otherwise, that is capable of achieving such diverse benefits as those we've just been discussing? It's hard to imagine that anything could possibly compete with lingerie whilst still remaining as gentle and loving, yet women's underwear is just that - no more than delicate bundles of lace and nylon, satin and silk, yet having the power to transform a man merely by dressing him up in it. Let's take a moment to summarise just what it is that makes lingerie so effective when used in this way.

• it's unlike anything a man wears

  With the exception of the plainest of panties, it's impossible to confuse lingerie for anything he might find in his own wardrobe. Whether we're talking the gossamer of sheer stockings, the silky smoothness of a satin negligée or simply the straps and clasps of a brassière, it's all completely different to what a man usually wears, a world apart from what he's used to.

• it's impossible to ignore

  From the constant cling of his stockings to the ever present embrace of his bra, there's no forgetting what he's wearing when it comes to his lingerie. You don't even need to remind him of its presence - his intimate attire will continue to make itself known whether you're there or not, even acting as a surrogate for you in your absence. Whether it's the tug on his suspenders or the pull of his thong between his buttocks as he walks, the slightest movement is enough to bring attention to what he's wearing underneath, let alone more deliberate reminders on your part - either playful or otherwise!

• it's much more than just underwear to him

  The quintessentially feminine nature of lingerie means that it can never be dismissed as just underwear when a man wears it. Garments that might simply be disregarded as everyday attire for a woman take on a quite different meaning for the male wearer - even the plainest of bras is more than feminine enough to work its magic with its cups and straps, whereas stockings are much, much more than merely long socks. In the bedroom, such attire can be sexy and arousing, as a punishment it can be uncomfortable, but either way it carries with it a far greater significance psychologically than its mere function would warrant.

• it means something to other people too

  It takes a brave man to go out in public wearing women's clothing - if he's obviously a man in drag, people are going to stop and stare, however much they know shouldn't. The prospect of others discovering his intimate attire is one that the feminized man will want to avoid, knowing the likely reaction of those around him - a man openly wearing lingerie is sure to attract attention, however undesirable, rather than being dismissed as merely commonplace or simply overlooked. Despite being easily hidden under regular clothing, lingerie carries with it the latent possibility of such embarrassing exposure, and consequently provides the strongest of motivations to keep such a potentially explosive secret strictly between you.

All these factors come together, reinforcing one another to give lingerie its unique power. The unfamiliar sensations of women's underwear keep reminding the wearer of its intimate presence, which in turn reiterates the reasons as to why a man is wearing it, bringing about the manifold benefits we listed earlier. It really is the stuff of dreams - simple, gentle and yet exquisitely effective.

What are some common misconceptions about men wearing lingerie?

If this all sounds too good to be true at first glance, or you find yourself wondering whether such benefits are really that easy to achieve in practice, you wouldn't be alone. Many women quite understandably have reservations about putting their husbands in lingerie, especially when they've only just been introduced to the idea themselves. It's certainly not uncommon to have doubts about whether such techniques are right for you and your relationship - you may worry about unforeseen consequences or drawbacks, or merely feel an instinctive uneasiness about having your husband wear underwear apparently more appropriate for yourself. You may wonder how he'll react to the idea, or be concerned about the risk and repercussions of his secret being discovered by other people - hardly unreasonable fears, especially when they're about a man you love.

Such reactions are perfectly natural, but that doesn't mean you should dismiss the rest of this book out of hand. It takes time to fully appreciate all that can be achieved with erotic feminization and lingerie discipline, even once you begin employing such techniques for yourself. Indeed, as we'll discuss later, it's better to adopt a slow, gradual progression rather than jumping in at the deep end immediately. That means that you can, and indeed, should take all the time you need to mull things over before experimenting a little to discover what works for you. You may find that an idea that initially seems a little unusual, if not somewhat strange, begins to grow on you as you get your head around its manifold implications and possibilities. For now, read on - you'll be sure to thank yourself for doing so later!

In the previous chapter, we discussed how the connotations that particular kinds of clothing are imbued with can influence not only their wearer, but also those around them. Such unconscious associations extend far further than one might imagine however, going so far as to affect the way we all perceive and interpret situations, ideas and even words. If your initial reaction to the mention of men wearing lingerie was to picture a stereotypical drag queen, effeminate pantywaist or mincing transvestite, perhaps hanging around a seedy gay bar with other dodgy looking homosexuals, the chances are your assumptions have been shaped by pervading societal prejudices about such matters. It takes a certain degree of self-awareness to appreciate this and recognise that erotic feminization and lingerie discipline can be whatever you make of them, rather than having to conform to any existing preconceptions.

With that in mind, let's look at some of the common misconceptions you may have regarding men wearing lingerie - a topic that most women are unlikely to have given much thought to in the absence of prior experience with the matter. In doing so, we'll explode the myth that there is anything wrong or perverse about putting a man in panties, and hopefully set your mind at rest regarding any doubts you may have about employing erotic feminization and lingerie discipline to the benefit of your own relationship.

• won't it make my husband gay?

  The belief that wearing women's underwear must be solely the preserve of those attracted to men is sadly as widespread as it is erroneous. Perhaps because we instinctively associate such garments with feminine allure, many unconsciously conclude, quite wrongly, that women wear them simply to appeal to the opposite sex. From there, it's only a small step to assume that men who wear lingerie must do so for the same reasons and therefore have to be homosexual. Moreover, it's easy to picture the stereotypical image of an effeminate nancyboy mincing around in stockings and suspenders and arrive at the same, flawed conclusion from the other direction. Lingerie is feminine, gay men are also feminine, and so gay men wear lingerie and lingerie makes men gay. Simple, but utterly wrong. One could just as easily argue that lesbians have short hair and wear trousers and so therefore wearing trousers or cutting your hair turns a woman queer.

  For starters, gay men come in all shapes and sizes, just like straight ones. Admittedly, some may be more effeminate or camp than others, but on the whole they do not seek to emulate women, especially not in the underwear department! Moreover, although some crossdressers are indeed homosexual, studies show that the vast majority are as straight as any other man. Not only is that true for men who actively pursue women's clothing in order to feel feminine, it's doubly so for those persuaded into such attire by their wives as part of a loving, heterosexual relationship. As we shall see later, although wearing lingerie allows a man to adopt a more submissive role in the bedroom, it doesn't fundamentally affect his intimate desires - whatever sexual proclivities he ordinarily tends towards will remain even when he's all dolled up in the prettiest of outfits. The only exception to this is where doing so allows him to express ordinarily repressed aspects of his sexual desires, but these will have been there all along rather than caused by his clothing.

  Assuming that a man wears women's underwear in order to attract other men is as nonsensical as assuming the same about a woman - it ignores the wealth of other reasons why anyone, male or female, might don such clothing. It can hardly be said that the primary purpose of a practical sports bra is to appeal to the opposite sex, after all - the support it provides during exercise is of far more significance to the wearer. Similarly, a woman might choose to wear a pair of pretty panties simply to feel good about herself beneath otherwise drab office attire, or clad her legs in sheer nylon out of modesty, for warmth, or simply to conform to a dress code. It shouldn't be too much of a stretch of the imagination to see how a man might wear lingerie for a range of other reasons too - to make him feel feminine, to atone for misbehaviour, to symbolise his submission or simply because he likes the feel of soft satin and silk, none of which need be remotely associated with his sexuality.

• won't it turn him into a transvestite or a transsexual?

  An understandable fear shared by many women considering putting their husbands in lingerie for the first time is that doing so may open the way to him wearing women's clothing in other, less appealing ways. One minute he might be putting on a bra and panties as part of a sexy bedroom game, the next he's out on the town in a trashy outfit and badly applied makeup, or wanting to dress as a woman all the time despite his obviously masculine physique. It's a perfectly natural concern to have, especially if you're considering using the erotic potential of lingerie to spice up your lovemaking - once he gets a taste for wearing women's underwear, won't he want to go all the way and live as a woman full-time, perhaps even to the extent of taking hormones or having surgery?

  If you married your husband for his manly charms, you'll be relieved to hear that such a scenario is most unlikely unless your husband already has strong desires in that direction, something that almost certainly wouldn't have gone unnoticed if such a remote possibility were indeed the case. Even in the case of erotic feminization, where the emphasis is placed on the sensual aspects of the garments in question, his lingerie is nothing more than an adjunct to the main event - the icing on the cake, if you like, but far too sweet to enjoy as a staple food. When it comes to employing women's underwear as a means of discipline, there are even less grounds for concern - associating feminine clothing with being punished or submitting to your control makes it extremely unlikely that he'll develop a desire to wear it under other circumstances.

  We'll be discussing crossdressers in more detail in a later chapter, but for now it's worth stating that there's a world of difference between transvestites and transsexuals, however similar the words themselves might be - the latter going far further in their pursuit of femininity than the former. Although we speak of erotic feminization and feminized men throughout the course of this book, we do so only as a convenient shorthand for the practices discussed here. There's certainly no need for your husband to have any kind of surgery or take hormones for you to enjoy the benefits of putting him panties, nor would we ever advocate him doing so. Gender reassignment is a serious, life changing decision that those considering it often spend many years agonising over - a completely different matter from wearing panties or a bra, even regularly. Rest assured that your husband can wear whatever you'd like him to and still remain all man - no amount of lingerie can change his physical nature.

• doesn't he need to be a crossdresser for this to work?

  It's easy to see why a transvestite might be aroused by wearing sexy lingerie, but you may wonder whether erotic feminization can really be effective if your husband lacks a crossdresser's desire to wear women's underwear out of his own volition. If he's never shown any interest in donning lingerie before, can it really have that much of an impact in the bedroom, let alone on the rest of his life? Surely such effects must be limited to those who are already actively in touch with their feminine side, leaving more regular men such as your husband bemused, confused and unamused by attempts to have them follow a similar path?

  Even if that were the case, lingerie discipline would still be a very powerful technique - a man who found such sexy attire singularly unarousing, as might be well be the case for purely practical garments, would nevertheless find that donning women's underwear engendered a submissive state of mind merely by being expected to wear it. Most men, however, are far from immune to the erotic connotations of such intimate garments, instinctively aroused by the wealth of associations they unconsciously attach to them - especially when presented in a sexually charged context. When his sexy wife seductively suggests her husband slips into a pair of panties to heighten the mood, he may well find he becomes aroused in spite of himself - even though, unlike a crossdresser, he wouldn't regard donning such feminine underwear as anywhere near as appealing under other, more mundane circumstances.

• won't he just refuse to go along with it?

  Persuading your husband to put on panties as part of a bedroom game is one thing, but having him wear them in less intimate circumstances, perhaps even on a regular basis, is quite another. Especially when we're talking about making your husband wear lingerie as a punishment, you may be wondering how on earth you could impose such clothing on a man who, quite sensibly, lacks any desire to wear an uncomfortable bra or tight thong for any length of time, let alone all day at work. Surely he'll just remove the offending garment at the earliest opportunity, even if you were actually able to get him into it in the first place? After all, he may well be physically stronger than you, and lingerie tends to be a delicate, dainty affair - couldn't he just rip it off, assuming he doesn't simply refuse outright to wear such attire at all?

  Although you may be no match for his physical prowess, that doesn't mean you have to accept defeat when it comes to what he wears without even trying to put him in panties. As we've already touched on, most men can be persuaded into donning women's underwear as part of a sexy game in the bedroom, and it's all downhill from then on. Once a man's worn lingerie once, however briefly and in whatever circumstances, it becomes easier to encourage him to do so again, and even easier the next time, until stepping into a pair of panties or a bra is second nature to him. With the aid of a few simple tips and tricks we'll be discussing later in this book, it's far more straightforward than you might think to extend his intimate apparel into other aspects of his life - even if he might have forthrightly opposed the idea were it presented from scratch.

  Moreover, thanks to the subduing influence that lingerie has on a man, once he's safely strapped in and wrapped up in the calming layers of lace and satin, he's more likely to stay that way than you might think. Provided you can get him past the initial urge to immediately divest himself of such embarrassing attire, the submissive state of mind it engenders makes it difficult for a man to go back on his previous acquiescence, especially if you emphasise that this will displease you. Wearing lingerie for you reinforces itself, creating a virtuous circle whereby the more he does so, the less likely he is to even consider refusing - and getting past the initial teething period is easy if you take things slowly. Even a crafty husband will find himself complying when he realises that there are ways of making sure he remains in what his wife wants him to wear - as we'll see later, surreptitiously taking off his bra and panties on the way to the office is easily avoided with a simple stitch or two.

• won't he hate me for it?

  If your husband really wanted to wear women's underwear, the chances are that he'd be already doing it - in the absence of any desire to crossdress, putting on panties is unlikely to prove particularly appealing to him when presented in the cold light of day, bereft of any other benefits. Of course, both erotic feminization and lingerie discipline are about far more than simply changing a man's underwear for a more feminine variety, but many women new to the idea have concerns about asking their husband to do something that, on the face of it, he is unlikely to welcome. Making your husband wear deliberately awkward, uncomfortable or embarrassing underwear as a punishment can prove particularly vexing in this regard - it's not unreasonable to worry that doing so will somehow alienate him, as he directs his negative feelings towards such attire towards the woman who insists he wears it. If he hates wearing a bra, surely forcing him to do so is guaranteed to make him hate you, leading to marital disharmony?

  We're certainly not advocating that you estrange your husband, but thankfully there's absolutely no need to do so in order to enjoy the benefits of putting him in panties. Few men are likely to object to a spicier time in the bedroom, but even when they're wearing lingerie in less erotic circumstances, they soon come to appreciate the advantages it brings. Although the practicalities of having to wear a bra or stockings may require some getting used to, it doesn't take long for a man to recognise the profound effects that such garments have on him and his relationship with his wife. Even when he's being made to do so as a punishment, it's perfectly possible for a man to accept such short term discomfort in exchange for the greater good it brings - after all, many men do so day in, day out when they go to work in order to bring home a salary.

  Contrary to what you might imagine if you've ever had to deal with an inconsiderate husband who is apparently oblivious to the effects his selfish behaviour has on those around him, many men are all too aware of their bad habits, not to mention the liberties they take in their marriage. Secretly they despise the weakness of will that prevents them from doing anything to resolve such issues, longing to have the kind of self-control that would keep them from feeling as though they have let themselves and others down. It's often hard for a man to go the extra mile, especially after a long day at work, with the easy way out proving all too tempting - however much he may regret his shortsighted actions later. If only someone else would take control of such matters for him and provide him with the willpower he lacks!

  If the cost of recovering such missing motivation is nothing more than having to wear frilly underwear, many men would regard doing so as a small price to pay for the vast improvement it can bring in their sense of self worth - even if that means submitting to the occasional punishment or accepting lingerie as part of their regular wardrobe. While being made to wear a corset or a tight punishment bra is never going to be pleasant for the man trapped within its wicked embrace, such uncomfortable chastisement is sure to serve as a deterrent against any future misbehaviour. If the threat of having to suffer similar treatment is sufficient to make him think twice next time, it will have served its purpose, however unpleasant the experience may be at the time. Far from hating you for imposing such discipline upon him, once your husband sees its results he'll end up thanking you!

• won't it make him less of a man?

  If you're asked to picture a submissive man, it's easy to conjure up an image of a simpering sissy, limp-wristed and coy, snivelling as he grovels in apology for being such a loser - a pathetic pantywaist who couldn't say boo to a goose! It's a far cry from what most women find desirable in a man, and you would be right to be concerned if we were suggesting you turn your macho, manly husband into such a spineless wimp. Fortunately, there's no need to go to such extremes to enjoy the benefits we outlined earlier - moreover, even if for some bizarre reason that were your intention, it would take rather more than a little lingerie to achieve such a complete change of character.

  Although erotic feminization and lingerie discipline can be used to encourage the more submissive aspects of a man's personality, they do so in areas where such changes are most beneficial - softening his rough edges, and making him kinder and more considerate - rather than changing anything fundamental to his masculinity. Sure, it may encourage him to engage in prolonged foreplay or make him more amenable to helping out around the house, but it won't take away his virility, his drive or his desire to protect you. Indeed, the great thing about putting him in panties is that you can just have him take them off whenever you want him to be all man - there's nothing permanent or irreversible about what he wears, which can work just as well occasionally as on a more regular basis.

• won't he look ridiculous in women's underwear?

  It's fair to say there's something faintly ludicrous about the idea of a man wearing lingerie - garments designed for the curves of the female body simply don't work the same on a more masculine physique. The thought of oddly bulging panties, empty bra cups or stockings over unshaven, hairy legs isn't initially very appealing - indeed, many women can't keep themselves from bursting out laughing at the sight of a man so absurdly attired. Let's be honest - most men are never going to make convincing women even if they put their heart and soul in to it, let alone by donning a few frillies. Unless he's slightly built, his muscular frame is going to give the game away for starters, meaning a man in a bra and panties is going to be just that - his underwear won't miraculously transform his body, however much it might affect him psychologically.

  In a way, the instinctive derision that most women feel towards men wearing their kind of underwear is one of the factors that makes lingerie discipline so powerful. Because it's rare for a woman to find the thought of a random man in a bra and panties particularly appealing, most women simply aren't going to be interested in your husband should they discover that his wife makes him wear lingerie - at least, not in any way he'll appreciate! While a feminized man is sure to be the cause of much amusement, he's unlikely to prove sexually attractive to the kind of women he might otherwise be tempted by - which makes putting your husband in lingerie an ideal method of keeping him from straying.

  Despite this, many women find that something rather surprising occurs when it's their own husband doing the dressing up rather than just some random man. While they might well be repulsed by the sight of anyone else wearing similar attire, there's something unexpectedly romantic about their husband placing himself in such a vulnerable position, even if you're unable to resist the odd chuckle at his expense! It's not so much a case of what he's wearing as why he's doing so, proving his commitment to you and your relationship even at the risk of attracting scorn and ridicule - hardly something he would do for any other woman. Moreover, in the intimacy of the bedroom, there's a certain cuteness to a man's submissive side that's enhanced by pretty lingerie, such that you may find he doesn't look half as bad as you might fear. Indeed, he may look positively yummy - and that's before you consider what kind of difference such attire can make to a man's bedroom behaviour. It's something you'll never know until you give it a go yourself, so don't let ill-founded assumptions stop you.

• isn't this something perverts do?

  If local newspapers and television are to be believed, the only men who wear women's underwear are perverts who steal from washing lines, hang around in public toilets and flash their ill-gotten booty at unsuspecting passers-by - hardly the kind of company you'd want your husband to keep! You might also read of a celebrity's crossdressing escapades as a source of cheap titillation in a gossip magazine, but otherwise you're unlikely to hear much about the subject, leaving you with the impression that men who wear lingerie are uniformly bad. The vast majority who aren't perverts and weirdos simply aren't newsworthy enough for the mainstream media to mention, just as one never hears about men wearing balaclavas except when they're bank robbers and terrorists, even though countless skiers and motorcyclists benefit from such headgear on a daily basis.

  If you happen to search online for information about putting your husband in panties, the situation is even worse. As well as being greeted by countless exhibitionists wanting to show off their intimate attire in various states of arousal, you'll also come across the most lurid stories purporting to describe what such men get up to in private - inevitably involving sadistic humiliation, forced feminization and other more sordid activities. It's all a far cry from the intimacy of a loving relationship and it would be easy to conclude that erotic feminization and lingerie discipline must be as unwholesome as some of the other practices one reads about on the Internet. Sadly, this phenomenon is by no means restricted to men wearing women's underwear - practically any other area of human sexuality is similarly encumbered with just as unlikely tales, concocted by sad fantasists with no practical experience of what they write.

  Throughout this book, we'll stress that lingerie discipline and erotic feminization are nothing more than what you decide to make of them - there's no prescribed plan, merely a set of techniques to pick and choose from, allowing you to employ whichever works for you. Terrorists may use maps to plan their atrocities and bank robbers may drive cars to make a swift getaway, but that doesn't mean you can't use both to enjoy a day trip to the sea without being a hardened criminal. Likewise, regardless of what perverts and weirdos might get up to, you're free to use lingerie however you wish without any kind of guilt - whether that's fooling around a little in the bedroom, or making your husband wear panties more regularly. So long as your relationship benefits from the undoubted effects of having him wear such intimate attire, it's all good.

• won't other people know?

  With the exception of those who have had first hand experience of the subject, whether from practising erotic feminization and lingerie discipline themselves or simply from knowing a crossdresser personally, most people have never given much thought as to why a man might wear women's underwear. Sadly, both men and women often exhibit many of the aforementioned misconceptions on discovering a male lingerie wearer's secret, assuming that he must be a pervert, a pantywaist and a poof to boot - hardly terms you'd want used to describe your husband! You certainly wouldn't want him to become a laughing stock as a result of wearing lingerie for you, nor for other people to assume that you must be a horrible, cruel wife in order to inflict such humiliation upon him - or worse.

  Ironically, this fear of public ridicule is part of what makes lingerie discipline so effective - knowing how his secretary will react to discovering that his wife makes him wear panties makes a man most unlikely to want to try anything untoward with her. No matter how anxious your husband may be about others finding out about his embarrassing attire, however, there's actually no reason why anyone else need ever realise what's under his suit. That's if you choose to have him wear lingerie out and about, of course - putting him in panties works just as well around the house, where nobody need ever know what the two of you get up to behind closed doors. Your husband certainly doesn't have to go to work all dressed up, least of all to begin with, nor wear his frillies anywhere else in public until you're happy he can do so safely.

  Although many younger women show a flagrant disregard for their modesty these days, flaunting their bra straps and whale tails almost as a fashion statement beneath strappy tops and low cut jeans, it's perfectly possible for a woman to keep her underwear so well hidden that no-one ever notices it. The same goes for lingerie wearing men too, provided they exercise a little common sense and discretion. Obviously, a fully stuffed bra under a thin, tight top is going to attract a lot of unwanted attention, but the unpadded variety can easily go unnoticed under an extra layer, whereas even the most risqué of panties can be kept from sight with the right trousers and a good belt. Throughout the course of this book, we'll be sharing tips and tricks that mean a man can wear all the lingerie a woman does, and more, without anyone ever batting an eyelid - even the most observant of watchers. Moreover, an anonymous shopping trip provides the perfect venue for making sure your husband can pull it off without needing to risk anything in the way of reputation - however you choose to dress him.

  It's easy to be aware of what you already know is there, but far harder to spot something completely unexpected. For the most part, the subtle bumps of bra strap adjusters simply aren't the kind of thing that many people look for on a man's back, nor do they check his ankles to see if he's wearing women's hosiery, let alone go out of their way to search out the faintest of panty lines - and even these tell-tale signs are easily avoided. Because, for the most part, people only see what they expect to see and lingerie really isn't expected on a man, your husband's intimate attire is going to remain perfectly invisible unless it's unmistakably obvious, however much he might fear he is broadcasting it to the world. Once you actively start looking for them, you may discover you know more lingerie wearing men than you might think, but with a little care and attention to detail, no-one else need ever know that your husband is one of them except the two of you.

• doesn't this demean women?

  Some women feel a little uneasy about using female clothing for anything other than adorning themselves, and even then may be concerned that emphasising its erotic aspects sends the wrong kind of message. If donning sexy underwear runs the risk of portraying a woman who does so as nothing more than sex object, her body merely a plaything for her partner, surely the situation is compounded when it's a man who's wearing such intimate attire? Having your husband wear lingerie to turn him on, let alone for any kind of discipline, surely teaches him that such clothing has no other purpose and thus demeans women as a whole. After all, if a man feels submissive in a bra and panties, doesn't that make everyone who wears such garments similarly docile in his eyes? If being made to wear lingerie to work is a punishment, what does that say to him about those who have to do so every day through no fault of their own, merely as a result of their gender? Doesn't that paint the female as inferior to the male?

  Ironically, it's not just women who exhibit such qualms. Sadly, a minority of transvestites and transsexuals are also of the opinion that they should have some kind of exclusive monopoly over wearing feminine underwear when not born a woman. The thought that others might wear such garments is somehow regarded by them as an affront to their own gender identities - apparently, a man can only wear lingerie to express his feminine side if he does so for exactly the same reasons they do. Heaven forbid that he should put on panties for any other purpose, let alone for something as frivolous as sexual pleasure! The hypocrisy of such a position ought to be self-evident - the very people who ought to know a thing or two about tolerance, often having fought for the right to wear such clothing themselves against societal prejudice, in turn attempt to deny others that privilege. Thankfully, the vast majority are rather more enlightened.

  Of course, it is not the garments themselves that are the problem, but rather the use they are put to. A woman can wear a pretty bra and panties under her working attire without anyone raising objections, her underwear helping her to feel good about herself as well as serving a more practical purpose. Were she expected to serve as a barmaid in nothing but such lingerie, however, feminists would be outraged by the message her underwear sent, even if the garments in question were identical. Nevertheless, although such indecent attire would be sure to inflame the base passions of the bar's patrons, that doesn't mean there would be anything wrong with a woman choosing to similarly arouse her husband by being identically dressed in the bedroom. Unlike the drunken barflies, he understands there's far more to his wife than just her physical charms, however appealing they may be, and is unlikely to draw the wrong kind of conclusions about her, let alone women in general, as a result.

  The same is true if it's the man who wears sexy underwear as part of a loving relationship - all the more so, in fact, thanks to lingerie discipline's unique power to educate him about such feminine matters. It's hard for a man to regard a woman's breasts as there for nothing more than his titillation when he's experienced first-hand the difficulties of wearing a heavily padded bra, for instance, or to grumble about his wife choosing sensible clothing over more sensual attire when he knows full well just how uncomfortable the latter can be. That's by no means limited to the trials and tribulations of womanhood, however - the fun of dressing up and fooling around in frillies gives erotic feminization a learning quality of its very own. A man who wears lingerie gains a new respect for all things womanly thanks to being in greater touch with his feminine side - however enjoyable such an education may be!

• won't it make me less of a woman?

  You may be worried that by encouraging your husband to take a more feminine role in proceedings, you'll somehow diminish your own position as the woman in your relationship, or end up having to compete with your newly feminized man for aspects of your life that have traditionally always been yours. By dressing him in lingerie, you may be concerned that he'll come to take such underwear for granted even when you're the one wearing it, with his newfound familiarity with such intimate attire causing its mystery and magic to disappear. You may even find yourself questioning whether you'll be unduly attracted to your man when he's dressed as a woman, perhaps doubting your own sexuality as a result.

  However cute your husband looks in his lingerie, you can rest assured he won't look anywhere near as attractive as you do in yours, lacking as he does the feminine physique to fully make the most of such underwear. Although putting him in panties and a bra may soften the edges of his male nature, not least his attitude and behaviour, he'll still be undeniably masculine underneath, with all his usual appeal - albeit in a rather different wrapping! Moreover, your husband is likely to think even more of you as a woman once he understands the power of the feminine from such a first-hand perspective, with even the fanciest of outfits only serving to give him a pale imitation of your natural, intrinsic womanly beauty. You'll still retain your unique place in your relationship, however much your husband's role may take on new aspects - besides, it's unlikely you'll want to compete too much with him when it comes to doing some of the household chores!

• don't I have to be a cruel dominatrix for this to work?

  It's difficult to talk about discipline, let alone punishment, without conveying certain connotations - just like clothing, words carry with them a wealth of associations, both positive and negative. If your initial reaction to the idea of disciplining your husband was to assume that you'd need to don a black leather catsuit or break out the whips and chains then you're thankfully mistaken - the stereotypical image of a sadistic dominatrix brutally degrading a grovelling slave without any concern for his well-being has nothing to do with what we're espousing here. It's perfectly possible to employ softer, more caring forms of correction even if you don't see yourself as being particularly dominant - indeed, doing so is far more effective than being cruel or harsh, something we could never countenance in a loving relationship.

  Despite what the term might initially suggest, discipline is far from being a bad thing. Few would look down on a soldier, an elite athlete or even a monk for being disciplined, rigorously sticking to a training regime in order to excel where it really matters, even at the cost of some short term sacrifices. Even punishment has its place as a means of atonement, allowing a man to say sorry for letting his wife down in a way that means something to both of them, rather than just being empty words. As well as providing a means to release upset and hurt in a constructive manner rather than bottling it up until it reaches explosive proportions, such caring correction acts as a deterrent against future transgressions, gently guiding a man's behaviour in a direction sure to benefit both him and his wife. It's certainly a far cry from meting out pain indiscriminately, simply to humiliate or abuse a man for the sake of it.

• won't he ruin my clothes in the process?

  As a couple, you don't have to be the stereotypical image of the diminutive little wife and the hulking great husband in order to worry about him wearing your clothes. Even if you're roughly the same size as your man, it's natural to feel uncomfortable about the thought of him squeezing into your most intimate attire. After all, there's something very personal about your underwear - however happy you may be for your husband to see your own body in it, you may still be deeply uneasy about him wearing it himself. It's not just the fact that his physique is different, lacking bump and bulges in some places and gaining them in others, it's a more visceral reaction to the thought of sharing a very private part of your wardrobe with someone else, however loved.

  Given that, it's just as well there's absolutely no need for him to wear any of your underwear in order to enjoy erotic feminization and lingerie discipline - not when it's so easy for him to have his own. It's perfectly straightforward to pick up something in a size more suited to his masculine build without any more trouble on your part than a detour in the department store. You definitely don't need to spend a lot of money in order to kit him out with a few frillies for himself - many supermarkets sell cheap and cheerful lingerie that's perfect for playing around with until you're more sure of what you want. Of course, that doesn't mean you can't treat yourself to something nice yourself too - matching his and hers lingerie is incredibly effective in the bedroom, with him wearing his and you wearing yours.

• does he have to wear all that?

  Because this book is meant as a comprehensive guide to using women's underwear for erotic feminization, lingerie discipline and lingerie punishment, we'll be looking at all aspects of how such intimate attire may be employed in a loving relationship - from the occasional appearance in the bedroom, right through to having a man wear lingerie as often as a woman. As well as the kind of everyday underwear you're bound to be familiar with, we'll also be discussing more obscure options - vintage underwear such as corsets and girdles that remain just as effective for men today despite having fallen out of favour amongst modern women. Finally, we'll be examining how to feminize a man beyond just changing his underwear, not least dressing him as a maid and setting him to work around the house - something which may seem like an unlikely prospect if you're still wondering whether you want him to wear panties, let alone how you're going to persuade him to put on his first pair.

  It would be unfortunate if, after flipping through this book, you were left with the impression that you had to do everything it suggests in order to appreciate any benefit from erotic feminization and lingerie discipline, and thus be discouraged from trying anything as a result. That's certainly not the intention of this work - instead, the aim is to present a range of ideas that you're free to pick and choose from, allowing you to adopt only those that work for your particular situation. Some couples find that their lives are greatly enriched by employing the full spectrum of techniques discussed here, but many others enjoy the benefits of just one or two of the ideas we'll be presenting - whether only occasionally or far more regularly. Think of this book as a buffet that aims to cater for all tastes - you can sample whatever takes your fancy, but if something doesn't appeal, there's no reason why you have to stick with it. This is something that can't be stressed enough - erotic feminization and lingerie discipline are about what works for you and your husband - they're what you make of them, and you can take or leave whatever you want.

It would be easy to feel bogged down after reading such an exhaustive list, especially if you share some of the concerns we've been discussing, but the easiest way to see through them is simply to give things a try for yourself. Once you've seen the powerful effect that erotic feminization and lingerie discipline can have on your own relationship, you'll recognise such trifling worries for what they are and be glad you didn't let them stop you. Even women who have been practising such techniques for years will tell you that they too were once unsure about whether this could actually work for them - it's a natural response to anything new, especially where other people are involved.

Like all novel ideas, it's worth taking a little time to get your head around what's involved. You may find it helpful to go back and reread this chapter, or simply to come back to it afresh after a couple of days. You'll find that the more you think these things over, the more they start to click into place - what might have seemed a little bizarre to begin with soon becomes quite commonplace once you get to grips with it. The most important thing is not to be afraid of giving things a go and seeing where they take you. As we'll find in the next chapter, you don't have to commit yourself to anything irrevocable by doing so, but you may be pleasantly surprised by the results! Why not try for yourself and see just what erotic feminization and lingerie discipline can do for you and your relationship?