taming the caged beast

Chapter 3: How do we get started with male chastity?

Breaking him in

Unfortunately, choosing an appropriate male chastity device is only half the story. Once you've purchased a suitable model, you've still got to get your husband accustomed to wearing it - even if he's keen to do so, his body may have other ideas! Rather like a new pair of shoes, it takes a little while for a man to get used to such an unusual accoutrement, particularly if you're trying to determine what size he is at the same time. It's unrealistic and impractical to expect him to wear it for long periods of time from the outset, however much such a scenario might appeal to your husband, or indeed, yourself.

Fortunately, the initial period of breaking in a new chastity device can be just as exciting as wearing one more regularly. Indeed, the techniques we're about to discuss work just as well when it comes to spicing up your lovemaking from time to time, quite apart from introducing him to longer term wear. After all, although male chastity devices are capable of being worn on a full time basis, there's nothing to say that that's how you have to use your husband's. If you find his works better as an occasional addition to your sexual repertoire, or simply as a way of having him making things up after letting you down, you're perfectly free to do just that. With male chastity, it's what works for you that counts!

Talk it over

However much some men might fantasise about it, it's unrealistic to expect to be able to spring male chastity upon your husband without any kind of warning, not to mention immoral. While one may find countless tall tales online about men who have no choice but to submit to a chastity belt, tied to the bed as a leather clad dominatrix locks the unforgiving steel around their helpless body, such nonsense is a far cry from the practical realities of male chastity. If you're exploring the idea at the suggestion of your husband, you may need to gently curb his enthusiasm should he expect you to adopt the rôle of the aforementioned dominatrix - alas, a far from unlikely possibility if he's secretly been dreaming about being kept chaste. That's not to say it can't be fun to rôle-play such scenarios occasionally, but the initial introduction of male chastity to your relationship needs a more serious approach.

Prior to purchasing any device, it's well worth having a full and frank discussion with your husband concerning what you hope to achieve, regardless of whether it was originally his idea or something you're pursuing yourself. As with any other significant decision, it's important to be honest and open about each of your needs and concerns, exploring all aspects of the situation until you're both happy that this is a direction in which you wish to go. There's nothing wrong with being unsure about particular details, let alone not knowing your ultimate destination at this stage - keeping an open mind and adopting an attitude of “let's give it a try and see how it goes” can work wonders.

Indeed, if your husband isn't initially very keen on the idea, such an approach is an excellent way of getting him on side, particularly if you promise to make it worth his while afterwards. It's far easier for a man to agree to trying a kinky experiment to spice up his sex life than it is for him to commit to never being able to masturbate again, even if that's what you're hoping for longer term - such an undertaking will take time on his part, and can only come after he's become accustomed to both the principle and the practice of wearing a chastity device. The promise of a special treat in exchange for humouring you for a few hours, on the other hand, is quite a different matter.

In the short term, presenting male chastity as something you've heard has worked well for other couples can be useful, particularly if you focus on the pleasure other men have derived from such sexual experimentation. There's a certain irony to using a man's sex drive to persuade him of the merits of wearing a chastity device, but it's something that has convinced many a reluctant husband to give it a try! Such a positive approach is far more likely to yield results than critical accusations about his failure to fulfil his rôle as a perfect lover, however objective such criticism may be - one catches more flies with honey than vinegar!

Despite the implicit surrender of control involved, male chastity is no different from any other sexual activity in requiring the consent of both parties. Such voluntary submission is all too often ignored in the nonsense that passes as erotic fiction about chastity, but is a vital part of what makes male chastity work and cannot be overlooked. The knowledge that he has put his penis beyond reach of his own volition is psychologically immensely powerful, even if that decision was made as a result of a little erotic persuasion on your part. If you cannot convince him to at least give it a try, then male chastity is unfortunately a non-starter for your marriage - you need him on board, however hesitantly, in order to proceed any further.

First time fitting

If you've followed the suggestion presented in the previous chapter and purchased an off-the-shelf chastity device with flexibility in mind, you'll find yourself the proud owner of a range of different sized cock rings and locking pins, as well as the chastity cage or tube itself1. Although such adaptability will allow a more comfortable fit in the long run, it comes at the cost of having to choose which of the many combinations is right for your husband. Don't let such choice daunt you - like trying on new clothes for size, a little trial and error is all you need.

The best place to start is with the cock rings, which are intended to rest close to the body behind the testicles. Getting one there can prove challenging to begin with, particularly if your husband gets excited in the process, but a bag of frozen peas can help to deflate any unwanted erections. Adopting a calm, matter-of-fact attitude is best to avoid unduly arousing him - teasing him can come later! Before doing anything, check you've got the ring the right way round - the locking pin will only fit flush in one direction, and it's far better to discover this before you've struggled to get a recalcitrant penis (no, not the wearer!) through it.

Next, place the ring over one of his balls, and while holding the first in place, gently push its brother through to join it. Ensuring that both testicles remain on the far side of the ring, bend the shaft of the penis back upon itself before carefully pulling it through the cock ring - something that's much easier than it sounds provided he remains flaccid! Once the ring is in place, give it a little tug and observe how it cannot be removed without pushing the shaft back through it first.

Some models of chastity device come with hinged rather than solid rings, which avoid the need for such manoeuvrings but requires additional care to avoid trapping either pubic hair or the scrotum itself between the closing plastic - something you'll know you've done by the yelp of pain it elicits from your husband! Once fully closed, insert one of the locking pins through a pair of holes that should now be aligned, and again, observe how the size of the testicles keeps the ring from falling off. If it doesn't stay in place, the ring's too large - repeat the process with a smaller one.

Ideally, your husband should wear the smallest ring that's comfortable. As tempting as it may be to fit the rest of the device at this stage, stop for a little while and see whether it remains that way - to avoid any arousal that could interfere with matters, have him put his pants back on and go about his regular business for an hour or so. If he notices no ill effects during that time, the ring is fine, but if he finds it becomes increasingly uncomfortable, perhaps requiring regular readjustment in order to avoid the onset of pain, then it's too tight and a larger diameter is required. The plastic shouldn't chafe the skin of the scrotum, nor cause it to become bunched up as a result of being too narrow - the ring should be slightly wider than the natural size of the body at the point at which it rests.

[1] If not, you'll still find much of this chapter relevant, although some of the details will need to be adapted to match your particular model. Despite the differences in design, the basic principle of most male chastity devices is the same. Even a traditional chastity belt requires a gradual introduction before it can be worn on a regular basis - more so, in fact, than a chastity cage.

Rings and things

Having found the right size of ring, you're now ready to attach the body of the device. In order to do this, you'll need to insert your husband's penis into the cage or tube, which can be a little awkward thanks to the intentionally narrow design of such devices - something that isn't helped if, like most men, your husband has a natural tendency to become aroused when being manhandled in such an intimate way! Once again, a bag of frozen peas can help with any unwanted erections at this stage, as can patiently waiting for the offending member to deflate of its own accord, diverting his attention onto more mundane matters until his member is ready to cooperate again. A discussion of your household finances, for instance, can help take his mind away from the inevitably erotic connotations of what you're doing between his legs.

If you're still struggling to insert his member into the chastity tube, a neat trick is to loosely wrap a length of ribbon around the head of the penis and insert the free end through the hole at the end of the tube before pulling the two together. Gently press the top of the penis down as you insert the two guide pins on the cage into the corresponding holes on the ring to avoid his skin getting pinched, and watch out for trapped pubic hairs! If everything's gone according to plan, the shaft of the penis should be safely confined in the tube, with the testicles trapped between the end of the tube and the cock ring.

You now need to determine which spacers and pins to use. Gradually push the tube towards the cock ring until the balls are no longer able to hang freely, and then ease off a little so the testicles aren't pinched or squeezed by their new-found predicament. Choose a locking pin of an appropriate length, and insert it through the remaining holes in the cock ring and chastity tube, using the spacers to keep everything firmly in place. This can be somewhat fiddly to begin with, but should get easier with practice - unfortunately, further trial and error is required to get a perfect fit. Once everything's in place, place the shackle of the padlock through the hole in the end of the locking pin, and click! Your husband's penis is now safely under lock and key, where it belongs!

Again, you should really have him wear the device under his clothing for an hour or so to make sure everything's properly fitted, but it's ever so tempting to play with your new toy at this stage. It shouldn't take very much to cause the imprisoned beast to swell within its plastic cage - an erotic caress, a sensuous whisper in his ear suggesting that his cock now belongs to you, and it will soon grow to fill the limits of its confinement. Try as it might, it's impossible for his manhood to become properly erect whilst trapped in such a device, however much it might be stimulated. Deprived of attention, his penis will soon shrink back to its normal size, leaving your husband utterly frustrated by the experience - a small taste of what's to come!

Like a new pair of shoes

It's important not to get too carried away at the beginning. As we discussed earlier, a male chastity device is rather like a new pair of shoes in terms of needing a little time to get used to wearing it. What we've talked about so far is the equivalent of putting his feet in a pair to see whether they pinch his toes, but it's not enough for them to be just comfortable in the shop - as any woman who's had to endure a day in painful new heels will know, it helps to wear them around the house a little first! So too with your husband's latest accoutrement - like a pair of stout leather boots, a little discomfort may be inevitable to begin with, but wearing such a device shouldn't cause him undue pain. If it does, there's something wrong with the fitting that requires attention - choose a looser ring or a longer pin and try again.

Otherwise, a gradual introduction to wearing it for progressively longer periods is the best approach in order to minimise such discomfort, helping his body to get used to the presence of the device until he's ready to wear it as and when you want. You wouldn't expect him to be able to immediately run a marathon in a pair of new boots, after all - it's much better for him to spend some time loafing around in the first, able to take them off as and when he chooses until he's sure they fit well enough to justify a walk in the park. The same is true for a new chastity device - an hour or so just sitting at home to begin with, the key readily available if needed, is an ideal place from which to develop things further.

Listen to what his body is saying during that time, and release him before his chastity device becomes too uncomfortable2. Over time, he'll be able to wear it for longer and longer, but to begin with you'll want to keep things short and sweet. It's far better to leave him with the impression that doing so is no trouble at all than to insist he stays locked up for longer than his body is ready to tolerate yet, even if that means letting him out earlier than you might prefer. To that end, it's worth rewarding him for his cooperation - a special treat afterwards will more than make up for any earlier discomfort, as well as help form positive associations about wearing the device for you. Such rewards can be tapered off as he becomes more accustomed to doing so, but are a useful means to encourage his acceptance at the start - well worth persevering with, even if treating him requires a little sacrifice on your part.

[2] It's worth noting that not every ache and pain is necessarily the result of a chastity device. When my husband first started wearing his, he suffered from stomach cramps that were sufficiently bad to put the idea of long term chastity on hold. It was only when we both went down with gastric flu a couple of days later that it became clear such cramps were merely an unfortunate coincidence, completely unrelated to a device he was able to wear without any trouble at all once his guts had settled down again. If they had come back with the device, it would have been a sure sign something was wrong with it, however.

Doing it for real

Once you're happy he can wear his chastity device around the house for a while without any problem, it's time to raise the stakes. It's one thing to merely be experimenting with male chastity, but quite another to start employing it for real, as your husband is about to find out! Have him in the device prior to spending a romantic evening together, and make it clear that it's not coming off until you're ready. Don't let its presence impede your foreplay however - make a point of fooling around with your husband as you would normally, engaging in your usual kissing, cuddling and petting as though the cage around his cock wasn't even there. Use your femininity to your advantage, dressing and undressing seductively in order to heighten the mood, and employ whatever little tricks you know are particularly effective at turning him on.

Your ministrations are sure to have an electrifying effect on his manhood, his resulting arousal impossible to ignore as his swelling penis struggles in vain to break out of its cage. Being unable to achieve a full erection is likely to prove a little uncomfortable as the unyielding plastic abruptly curtails the growth of his member, drawing his attention swiftly to its predicament. This sense of restriction can be surprisingly erotic in itself, particularly when coupled with the knowledge that any release from such torment is entirely at your discretion, leading to a vicious circle of ever increasing frustration. Take the opportunity to emphasise your control over the situation, letting him know how much you love to see him turned on for you before directing him back towards your own needs.

You can, for instance, tease him about how excited he's getting, telling him how much he must enjoy being kept under lock and key to have become so hard in his cage. It's perfectly natural for a man to become aroused under such circumstances, but that doesn't mean you can't use this to your advantage, employing a little psychology to direct his thoughts in the direction you want them to take. Start with things he simply can't argue with, such as his evident need to come, and lead on to telling him how you see male chastity working for you, using statements and questions that leave no room for doubt. Let him know the power you wield as a result of having the keys to his device, and stress that you and you alone will choose when it can be taken off.

Not only does this serve to heighten his frustration, maximising the sexual tension of the situation in order that it may be turned towards your mutual pleasure, it also serves to sow seeds of longer term suggestions, implanting ideas about male chastity that will make it even more effective in future. By leaving him with the impression that his chastity device is inescapable and, moreover, that he has no choice but to obey your wishes should he wish to be released from it, you encourage him to adopt a more submissive mindset in which such assertions are true, however unlikely they might seem in the cold light of day. Creating an aura of mystique about his confinement while he is sexually aroused is a very powerful way of ensuring the effectiveness of even a flimsy plastic tube, let alone the unyielding steel of more expensive belts.

Indeed, the clear plastic of the cheaper models is not without its own advantages - being able to see the imprisoned member inside allows you to comment on its plight as it battles in vain to become fully erect. “Look how hard you are”, you can tell him as you stroke the smooth plastic of his cage, “I bet you really want to come, don't you? It must be terribly tight in there. Still, you'll have to wait until I'm ready - you're not coming out until I decide to unlock you”, tugging gently at the padlock as you do. It shouldn't be too difficult to see how such subtle suggestions can have a significant effect on how your husband perceives the device, particularly when repeated over time. His cock belongs to you, and you get to choose when to play with it.

If your husband is sexually adventurous, he should spontaneously start to pleasure you with his hands and tongue at this stage, but if he's more conservative, he may require slightly more explicit encouragement. Indeed, he may need to be reminded that there are other ways he can stimulate you beyond using what's locked up between his legs, particularly if he's been used to having things his own way until now - don't be afraid to guide him as necessary. Should he pull a face or be otherwise unenthusiastic, simply make the connection between your pleasure and his own more firmly - “Well, that's too bad. I guess you don't want to come after all. That's not what your cock is telling me, however. Don't you want me to let it out to play?”. It's important not to leave it at that - at the very least, coax a little more foreplay out of him than he might otherwise have bothered with. Provided he's trying his best, even a lacklustre performance will act as a base for future development - learning how to please you properly is a skill he can pick up with time so long as you provide suitable guidance along the way.

When you're satisfied he's made an appropriate effort, hopefully making you a very happy woman in the process, you should think about rewarding him for his labours. Again, take the opportunity to link his satisfaction with your own, toying with the lock on his chastity device as you ask him whether he deserves to be released. “Have you been a good boy? Shall I let that mighty monster of yours out of its cage now? Did you make me happy first?”. These are rhetorical questions, but that doesn't mean you can't answer them for him - either praise him for an outstanding performance, or suggest that although his efforts will do for now, you'll expect a little more next time.

It's worth making a fuss about finally unlocking him, perhaps going so far as to have him ask or even beg to be released before you set about removing his chastity device. Make a point of doing this entirely by yourself, insisting that he keeps his hands behind his back as you set him free, however keen he is to help. You can develop this into something of a ritual over time, having him watch passively in order to reinforce the fact that you're in complete control of the situation. If you like, you can pause for dramatic effect, pretending to have changed your mind if you really want to torment him, but such games are probably best saved for when he's become more used to being in chastity.

You'll need to take a little care when freeing his penis from the cage or tube that surrounds it. If, as will almost certainly be the case, it is as erect as the narrow chamber permits, his bulging shaft will be squashed tightly against the sides of its plastic prison, such that you'll need to ease it out slowly and gently. Don't rush this stage, but savour the sudden swelling that results as his liberated manhood is finally free to achieve its full might, its power strengthened by the intense intimacy of the situation as well as your husband's instinctive knowledge that he'll soon be enjoying a climax of his own. Remark on the potency of the beast and praise its magnificence before doing what comes naturally in such a situation, or indeed, letting him do so!

Should his chastity device use a solid cock ring rather than a hinged one, you'll find it next to impossible to remove it without deflating his erection first, something which rather defeats the purpose of getting him all hot and bothered to begin with. Fortunately, such rings have a dual purpose, such that leaving it in place is far from being a problem - keeping it there will help his new-found glory last longer and stay stronger for both your pleasure and his. If you've chosen one that's comfortable for him to wear whilst going about his everyday business, it shouldn't actually be that tight when he's aroused, but it may add an extra edge to proceedings. Be sure to keep an eye on things the first time you try, especially if your husband is unfamiliar with using such rings during intercourse.

With the rest of the device, including the locking pin, safely discarded, he can finally enjoy his long anticipated release, a well earned reward for his previous compliance. Especially when you're just starting out with male chastity, take the trouble to make his eventual climax a memorable experience for him, paying particular attention to his pleasure even if that means going a little out of your way to make things special. Doing so can help overcome any hesitation or resistance he may feel to the idea of wearing his chastity device again for you in future, leaving him on a high note that's worth treating him a little to achieve.

Taking things further

It shouldn't take too much imagination to see how such an initial introduction to male chastity can be developed into having him wear the device for longer periods of time. Rather than have him put it on immediately prior to a romantic evening, raise the possibility of a sexy night in together earlier in the day, making the prospect of such bedroom fun conditional on him wearing his chastity device until then. A little erotic encouragement should see him safely locked away, leaving you the remainder of the day to build up his anticipation. Not only does this make him more eager to please, both practically and erotically, it also serves to heighten the power of his eventual orgasm, as well as getting him used to wearing the device on a longer term basis.

By having him keenly await your lovemaking, rather than simply taking it for granted, you encourage him to regard it as something special that should be savoured, a magical moment that he'll spend the day looking forward to rather than a forgettable, run of the mill mundanity. You can turn this anticipation to your advantage with the slightest of suggestions - once you've got him under lock and key, why not turn his attention to tackling one of the many jobs he's been putting off around the house, or have him accompany you shopping? The cage between his legs will make him much more amenable to whatever you have in mind, however reluctant he might ordinarily have been to such ideas. Don't let him forget the power you have over him, but regularly remind him that it'll be worth his while in the end - provided, of course, that he's good!

It's best to do this when you'll be spending the day together to begin with, in order to ensure there won't be any unforeseen problems that might arise from having him wear the device for longer than he's been previously used to. The weekend provides an ideal opportunity for this, allowing you both to go about the usual business of life with the prospect of an exciting evening ahead, while retaining the option of removing his chastity device at any time should it become excessively uncomfortable. As ever, it's vital to listen to what his body is saying, so periodically ask him how he's finding his confinement - not only does this ensure the well-being of a most important part of his anatomy, it also serves to remind him that he's at your mercy when it comes to sexual relief, particularly if your enquiries are designed to tease and arouse.

From there, it's a simple step to locking his member away before he heads off for work one morning, sending him out with the knowledge that there's no way his chastity device can come off until he returns home in the evening. His secret confinement is sure to turn a boring day at the office into a much more memorable experience, his intimate submission to your desires being reinforced whenever his attentions wander in erotic directions. Although easily put to the back of his mind, it's difficult for him to completely forget what he's wearing for you under his trousers. Moreover, the cage around his cock will ensure that the charms of that attractive female client or secretary will no longer be the source of idle daydreams - any arousal they may cause will swiftly be rewarded by a sharp reminder of just where his devotions should lie. Your husband may be quite surprised to discover just how often his mind wanders in such directions, but with his manhood safely locked away, such lewd thoughts will serve only to heighten his frustration and consequently enhance his desire to please you at the end of the day.

Hints and tips

Teasing your husband while he's locked away is something that may come quite naturally, an intuitive extension of the everyday sexual banter that adds zest to any relationship. Nevertheless, having him helpless in a chastity device while you flirt with him offers a wealth of new possibilities for inflaming his passion, his inability to quench his desires without your say so serving only to fuel the fires of his lust. As well as your usual repertoire of seduction, the device itself holds a surprising amount of scope for having fun.

That's not to say you shouldn't dismiss any of your old tricks, however. Even the slightest of touches takes on a new significance to a man who's already on edge thanks to the heightened state of arousal male chastity brings about, such that nonchalantly brushing your body against his will have a far greater impact than you might think. You can briefly sweep your hand across his groin as if by accident, or let your touch linger on his crotch more deliberately, tracing the outline of his chastity device as you do so. For a more forceful reminder, you can grind your body into his as part of a passionate embrace, pushing the cage around his cock against him as you do so. Pressing close to him, he'll be acutely aware of the presence between his legs, while you can innocently pretend you know nothing about the effect your snuggling is having on him - after all, you're just showing your affection!

Never underestimate the significance of the key, however diminutive it may be. Although the locks that fasten most chastity devices are relatively small when compared to more traditional fastenings, the psychological significance of the one that keeps your husband's penis locked beyond reach vastly outweighs its physical size. For a man desperate to achieve an orgasm whose gift is no longer within his power, the key to his chastity device is of priceless importance. Turning this to your advantage takes no more effort than an extra piece of jewellery, keeping the key close to hand by wearing it on a necklace. With a low cut top, it can dangle seductively near your cleavage, or nestle hidden between your breasts to be extracted only when the moment is right. When added to his natural attraction to your bust, this makes for a powerful combination that will make him weak at the knees. For the fashionably minded, you can even get keys that are gold plated, making an ideal adornment to a similar chain.

Speaking of low cut tops, clothing that flaunts your feminine charms is an ideal way to get your husband all hot and bothered, particularly if he's been told he won't be coming out until much later. To really get his pulse racing, you can laze naughtily around the house in just your lingerie, or even naked, apparently oblivious to the frustration such attire is bound to cause. In other circumstances it would be easy to dismiss this as nothing more than fantasy fulfilment, but with male chastity you're calling the shots. However much you may feel self-conscious about your body, in the highly charged state brought about by his confinement your husband is likely to regard you as a goddess, and there's no reason why you shouldn't play to your audience in order to keep him exactly where you want him. Even the briefest of glimpses as you head towards the shower can work a treat, leaving him longing for more - something that he won't get until you decide the time is right!

When he's finally wearing nothing but his chastity device, you can emphasise its presence in a number of ways. Caressing the smooth plastic of the cage that confines his penis might seem futile, but is in fact remarkably effective at making the prisoner within bulge - so much so that you might be tempted to believe he can somehow feel your fingers through the unyielding material. Although he'll be unable to achieve a complete erection until the device is removed, having him swell inside it at your command is hugely satisfying. For more direct stimulation, you can gently blow through the air holes at its base, and provided he's washed beforehand, you can simulate fellating it - there's no way he'll reach a climax as a result, but the resulting frustration is like nothing else. Darting your tongue against the very tip of his penis through the opening in the plastic is guaranteed to make him squirm in torment, giving him a taste of what could be in store later if he's willing to play along with whatever you want first. Alternatively, you can cup his testicles in your hand to demonstrate that they, like the rest of his manhood, belong to you.

As well as teasing him physically, you can verbally remind him of his plight, whispering sweet nothings in his ear about how much you're looking forward to having him pleasure you later. By subtly alluding to your own satisfaction as a foregone conclusion, whilst referring to that of your husband as being a more conditional proposition, you help reinforce his understanding that your sexual needs must come before his own. Let him know how hot the thought of keeping him under lock and key is making you - something that will not only turn him on, but help overcome any reluctance on his part about wearing the device for you. Once you're sure he's all worked up, ask him how it feels to be entirely at your mercy, or how much he wants to come - suggest impossible, ridiculous or humiliating things you might have him do in order to be let out, all the better if he doesn't know whether to take you seriously or not.

You don't have to be face to face in order to do this. There's nothing like finding a note you've left behind to let your husband know you're thinking of him, and moreover, that he should be thinking of you - leave one in a pocket or amongst his paperwork. Such messages needn't be too explicit - in fact, it's probably safer not to be - but it doesn't take much to remind him of what he's wearing under his trousers, and indeed, what he's got to look forward later on. If you prefer, you can send him text messages or emails, or even leave cryptic messages on his office answerphone, so long as you take a little care to ensure that only he will understand what you're referring to. However you do so, you can guarantee he'll be thinking only of you throughout the day, and his pent-up energies will be yours to enjoy when he finally returns - with his male chastity device to keep him focused, he'll be coming straight home!