taming the caged beast

Chapter 4: What are the realities of longer term chastity?

Problems and pitfalls

In the previous chapter, we saw how having your husband wear a male chastity device for a few hours prior to a naughty evening in together can work wonders for your lovemaking, spicing things up in a way that not only encourages him to pay more attention to your needs, but results in better sex for him too. Using such a device occasionally to add variety to your erotic repertoire may be all you're looking for from it, but many couples like to take things further and enjoy the extra benefits that come from longer term male chastity.

Given the gradual approach recommended earlier, it would not be unreasonable to assume that you can simply progressively increase the amount of time he spends in his chastity device until your husband finds himself wearing it non-stop, or at least, as often as you'd like him to. In practice, things aren't quite as straightforward as that, thanks to a number of issues that must be addressed along the way if more permanent chastity is to be a success. Nevertheless, it's something that's perfectly possible to achieve with a little perseverance, and well worth the trouble - the advantages of keeping your husband in a chastity device full-time go far beyond those of more occasional use, bringing about a second, powerful improvement to your relationship, more radical than the first.

Taking the pee

If you've followed the advice presented in the previous chapter, the chances are that your husband has already discovered one of the less advantageous side-effects of wearing a chastity device, namely the effect it has on his bathroom activities. The same plastic cage that prevents him from touching his penis in an erotic context also stops him from doing so for more mundane matters, making using the toilet rather more of a challenge than it used to be! No longer can he simply unzip his fly and pass water without a second thought - deprived of the ability to direct the jet of liquid, he'll find himself obliged to drop his trousers and sit, in the same way a woman does.

An entertaining consequence of this is that he's unlikely to be leaving the toilet seat up afterwards, nor sprinkling droplets around willy-nilly! Although their husbands may disagree, many women regard this as yet another benefit of male chastity - nothing teaches a man to leave the bathroom in a fit state for the next occupant than having to use it as a woman would. Best of all, there's no need to nag to achieve such results - his chastity device does all the work, ensuring he shares the same need to keep the toilet clean as you do, simply by virtue of how he's now required to use it.

The matter of drying his privates afterwards is more serious, however - a chastity device has a tendency to retain a small amount of urine inside its cage. If left unattended, this may result in unpleasant odours as well as the risk of embarrassing damp spots on clothing, making it essential that he learns how to remove such moisture before it becomes a problem. The constraints of his chastity device make it difficult to do so in the manner he's grown used to - simply shaking his package isn't guaranteed to expel every last droplet, nor can he retract his foreskin to aid the process as he might once have done.

Fortunately, the design of most devices features a vent through which a twisted length of toilet tissue may be introduced just far enough inside the cage to deal with any residual dampness1. A little practice will yield a surprisingly stiff strand of paper that can be twirled about to access everywhere it needs to, mopping up moisture along the way. As complicated as this may sound, it soon comes quite naturally, such that an extra minute in the bathroom is quite enough to leave your husband as dry as he would have been without his cage.

Try as he might (and the chances are he'll try at least once), it's impossible for a man to gain much stimulation from this procedure - the tip of the tissue paper is too small and flimsy to yield much in the way of satisfaction. The most he'll achieve is to frustrate himself further, the partial erection that forms as a result of his efforts soon fading thanks to the impossibility of it becoming anything more, difficult enough to maintain through the miniscule opening before one considers the constriction of the cage itself.

Another kind of bodily emission that can pose problems is pre-ejaculate or pre-cum, the clear viscous fluid that a man naturally produces in anticipation of sexual activity. You don't need to be actively engaged in foreplay for his cock to leak in this way - simply keeping him in a state of heightened sexual tension is quite enough, let alone if he finds being kept under lock and key arousing in itself. Ordinarily absorbed by his underwear, your husband may be surprised at just how much pre-cum he produces throughout the day, his output brought to his attention by the way it pools inside his chastity device. Even a small amount of fluid will leave his member feeling uncomfortably damp, but although he may worry that he's wet his pants, it's unlikely to cause much of a problem unless he remains excited for a prolonged period of time. If that's the case, a wad of toilet tissue pushed into the hole at the base of his chastity device should be enough to keep the liquid at bay - provided he remembers to remove it before going to the toilet!2

[1] Traditional chastity belts are an exception to this rule, often featuring a grille with holes too small to allow anything other than liquid to pass through them. If your husband is wearing such a belt, you may find it necessary to have him wear a pantyliner in order to absorb any residual urine, although a wad of toilet tissue placed strategically in his underwear may also do the job.

[2] My husband has learnt this lesson from bitter experience!

Showered with success

Unfortunately, this isn't the end of the story as far as hygiene is concerned - similar issues arise when bathing or showering. Here the problem is two fold - how to get enough water into the device to ensure the penis is kept clean, and how to get it out again afterwards. By far the simplest solution is avoid the question entirely, allowing your husband out of his chastity cage each evening in order to perform his ablutions before locking him up again afterwards. Even this most mundane of activities can be turned into an opportunity for erotic teasing, particularly if you choose to wash his manhood yourself to make sure he won't be cheating on you in the shower!

Although that's fine as an occasional way of livening things up, its novelty will rapidly wear off, particularly if you've having to do so every evening. Consequently, if you're considering having your husband wear a chastity device for longer periods of time, it's essential to ensure that he can take care of his own cleanliness whilst still locked up in it. As ever, this is best taken slowly, gradually extending the length of time he goes without being released for washing until you're sure he's got the hang of looking after himself. That's not to say he shouldn't wash at all, of course - far from it! Wearing a male chastity device makes it even more important for your husband to maintain appropriate personal hygiene, however much that might be challenging.

Most devices have sufficient air holes to allow a shower jet to be directed at their contents. Provided there's enough pressure in the stream of water to do the business, it's possible for a man to wash his penis without ever touching it, albeit requiring a little patience. If your husband is wearing a chastity cage that relies on a cock ring to stay in place, he'll also need to pay attention to the folds of skin that inevitably form between his testicles and the shaft of his penis. To keep his foreskin clean, a cotton bud is useful - its slender tip may easily be inserted through an air vent, but will yield little in the way of satisfaction. Indeed, the sensation of having such a sensitive part of his anatomy massaged so tantalisingly will serve only to heighten his torment, reminding him of his plight even as he engages in the mundanities of bathing.

Just as important as being able to wash his confined penis is being able to dry it successfully afterwards. If he's cleaned himself thoroughly, the volume of liquid trapped inside the cage is likely to be more than just a few drops, making the toilet tissue trick previously described somewhat tedious. An easier way of removing such moisture is to direct a jet of warm air over the imprisoned member with a hair drier set to one of the cooler settings until the offending dampness is gone. This only adds a couple of extra minutes to his routine and is well worth the trouble to avoid unwanted skin irritation - after all, male chastity for your husband shouldn't come at the price of keeping his pride and joy in anything other than tip-top condition!

Roused in the night

You're probably quite familiar by now with the effect that a chastity device has on your husband's attempts to achieve an erection. Although his penis can swell to the extent permitted by its cage, it soon finds itself unable to grow any further thanks to the unyielding prison that surrounds it, and eventually has no choice but to subside again of its own accord. Not only is this rather frustrating for the wearer, many men find it somewhat uncomfortable too - an effect that can be put to good use, as we saw in the previous chapter, serving to remind him of what he's wearing every time he becomes aroused, as well as who he's wearing it for! This discomfort stems from the design of such devices - not only does his shaft bulge in response to his excitement, it also lengthens, pushing the end of the cage away from the body. In turn, the cock ring is also pulled away, which has the effect of pulling on his testicles and cramping the flow of blood to them, something that naturally his body objects to.

That's not so bad when he's awake and can exert a degree of conscious restraint over proceedings (believe it or not, men do have some control over their penis, however much it may seem to have a mind of its own at times), but is rather more of a problem at night. Erotically charged dreams, physical contact or simply the body's own natural processes can cause nocturnal erections that would normally go completely unnoticed in the absence of a chastity device. With one on, such night-time tumescences are subject to the same discomfort as those that occur during the day - more so, in fact, thanks to the complete absence of warning for the wearer. One minute he may be happily asleep, perhaps enjoying a naughty dream, the next he's clutching a powerful erection that's painful enough to have woken him from his slumbers, pulsing with a life of its own and showing no sign of going away - a very rude awakening!

Many men find this problem lessens over time, such that after a few sleepless nights their body becomes accustomed to such sensations and no longer wakes them as a result. If your husband has particular problems with being woken by his chastity device however, it may help to ensure he goes to bed with a completely empty bladder. Some types of device are less susceptible to unwanted night-time awakenings than others, so it may be worthwhile researching which are best if your husband is especially sensitive to such things. Even something as simple as an additional, narrower ring (which we'll look at later in the context of improved security) may be of benefit, having the unintended side-effect of making it harder to achieve even a partial erection. It's certainly worth a little experimentation rather than writing things off immediately, although proceed with caution and show suitable sympathy for your husband's plight - like yourself, he may be more than a little grouchy after a bad night's sleep, let alone several!

Aches and pains

In the previous chapter, we stressed the importance of listening to what your husband's body is telling him about the comfort or otherwise of his chastity device. The need to do so does not diminish over time - indeed, it's just as critical to make sure he's untroubled in the device after a week as it is an hour. Particularly when he's getting used to wearing his cage for increasing lengths of time, make a point of periodically checking his private parts for signs of irritation. Although a chastity device may chafe a little to begin with, it shouldn't rub the skin raw, nor cause it to become inflamed, let alone result in persistent pains or other soreness. If your husband reports any such symptoms, it's time to let him out and see what's going on down there.

Many minor ailments are merely teething troubles, and may be cured by allowing him to spend a few days out of his chastity device before trying again, but if they continue to recur you'll need to figure out what's causing the problem. It may be that a slight change is enough to resolve the matter - sometimes sanding down a rough piece of plastic is all that's needed. Hinged rings can be particularly problematic when it comes to causing irritation, thanks to the folds of their design - replacing them with the solid version may help. If all else fails, it's worth looking online to see whether others have experienced similar issues - with a popular off-the-shelf model, the chances are that someone, somewhere will have exactly the answer you're looking for, or at least have suggestions that you can try.

Safe and secure

There's no point in your husband wearing a chastity device if it doesn't achieve its purpose, namely preventing him from touching his penis without your permission. As we saw in chapter two, there's a trade-off between security and comfort, cost and convenience, and many of the cheaper, off-the-shelf models focus heavily on the latter at the expense of the former. While no chastity device is absolutely secure, in that even the most sturdy of belts can be removed by someone determined to do so, it's essential that the wearer can't slip out and back in again without leaving at least some evidence of having done so. Otherwise, his chastity device offers no more proof of fidelity than his underwear, which he can simply take off whenever he feels like, leaving you none the wiser as to what he might get up to out of it!

Unfortunately, simply locking a cage around his penis doesn't guarantee that it's going to stay there. If the cock ring is too large, or the gap between it and the body of the device too wide, it's possible for one of the wearer's testicles to slip through of its own accord, particularly in cold weather when the balls have a natural tendency to retract into the body. Once this happens, it's only a matter of time before the other ball joins its brother, leaving your husband on the wrong side of a device that's remained locked throughout - far from ideal! It's next to impossible for him to put the device back on should this happen, leaving him no option but to confess what has happened. Don't be too harsh on him in such circumstances - it's unlikely to have been deliberate, and merely means you need to reconsider which rings and spacers he uses, or help him avoid getting overly cold in future.

Some men find they are able to pull their penis out of the body of a chastity cage while it remains locked around their testicles. While it's unlikely that they'll even want to try having intercourse with such a contraption hanging from their privates - something of a give-away to any partner in an illicit dalliance - it's quite feasible for a man to masturbate in such an odd state without too much discomfort, provided he can get his shaft free to begin with. Once he's selfishly gratified himself, he can then slip his member back inside its plastic sheath without his keyholder ever knowing about it, defeating the purpose of having him wear a chastity device to stop him masturbating.

Not every man can do this - only a small proportion have sufficiently flexible genitalia, and many of those may that do probably haven't considered the possibility, particularly if the inescapability of their chastity device, however illusory, has been suitably instilled in them by those holding the keys! Nevertheless, if your husband finds himself among their number, you'll find the effectiveness of his chastity wanes in direct proportion to the ease with which he can get away with going behind your back, and for some men it's all too easy - we're not going to discuss exactly how to do it in case any of them are reading this too, but it may require nothing more than a simple trick for the most limber of individuals in the less effective of devices.

If you're exploring male chastity at the suggestion of your husband, or he's been convinced of its merits as a result of experiencing them for himself, it's possible that he'll let you know about such an unfortunate lapse in security, particularly if he feels guilty after exploiting it. However, it may be that the first you know of it is when his old, lacklustre habits start to return and he no longer shows the enthusiasm for satisfying your desires that he once did. Should you suspect his chastity device may not be as effective as it once was, simply look him in the eye and ask him straight out whether he's been pleasuring himself without your permission, giving him the impression that you already know exactly what he's been up to and are offering him a chance to be honest with you. It may even be worth offering him a special treat if he shows you exactly how he managed it, so you can determine how to make his cage more secure - in the long run, it's a price worth paying for guaranteed chastity.

Some devices have additional accessories available for them to increase their security, making it harder for the wearer to pull his penis out of the cage and next to impossible for him to return it again afterwards - Figure 4.1 illustrates one of these. For those on a budget, an inverted ring can have a similar effect, reducing the diameter of the cage around the top of the shaft to make withdrawal more difficult and reinsertion similarly impractical. Faced with the prospect of spending the rest of the day with his testicles still trapped in a hanging device he can't put fully back on again, the idea of getting out in the first place suddenly becomes rather less attractive, particularly when he knows he'll have to explain his predicament to you sooner or later. Again, it's worth checking online for other people's experiences of making particular devices more secure.

Figure 4.1: Some devices have additional accessories available for them to increase their security. Reducing the diameter of the entrance to the device with such an accessory (bottom left) makes it harder for the wearer to pull his penis out of the chastity tube. A partial cock ring (top left) can be used to similar effect if inverted, or used to restrict fingers from accessing the shaft of the penis as shown here. The complete ensemble (right) is how my husband wears his.

In case of emergency

Conversely, there are times when you might actually want your husband to be able to remove his chastity device without you being there to unlock it for him. Given the emphasis we've placed so far on keeping him under lock and key, that may sound a little strange, but it's not - the last thing you want is for him to be unable to take his device off should an accident or other emergency occur. Even a flimsy plastic cage will take a few minutes to saw off, let alone a more substantial metal belt - not what one wants in the event of a medical crisis, for example. If your husband is going to be out of your sight for any length of time, you'll want to give a little thought as to how he might deal with such a contingency, however unlikely, and prepare accordingly.

As counter-productive as it might seem, one option is simply to ensure he carries a copy of the key with him whenever he's away. Needless to say, he shouldn't be able to use it without having to account for having done so afterwards, but that's easy to arrange - simply sealing it in a signed envelope is sufficient to prevent him doing so, provided you occasionally check to make sure the envelope in question remains sealed. If you have access to a laminating machine, another option is to heat-seal it between two layers of plastic. Either way, it can then be kept in his wallet, safely on hand in case of emergency, but impossible to use without leaving evidence of having done so. It's unlikely that it should ever be needed, but knowing that the option is there gives you and your husband peace of mind that his chastity device won't cause any unnecessary complications.

Another option is to use a combination lock, either to seal the device itself or to secure a spare key. Should he need to get the lock off in a hurry, a simple phone call is sufficient to let him out, an arrangement that has the advantage of allowing you to decide whether the situation really warrants early release rather than having to rely on your husband's judgement. Admittedly, he might attempt to work through all the combinations, but with up to ten thousand to choose from, that's going to take a long time - particularly if you change the magic number periodically to keep him on his toes.

Alternatively, you can fasten his chastity device with a one-use plastic seal in place of a more traditional metal padlock. Once closed, there's no way to open such a seal without destroying it, yet doing so requires no more than a sharp knife or a pair of scissors - a perfect combination for this purpose, particularly when such seals are often stamped with a unique number, ruling out any kind of subterfuge on your husband's part. They can even be used to keep him chaste without any physical contact on your part, simply by having him send you photos of the intact seal on a periodic basis.

In these days of excessively paranoid airport security, it's unrealistic to expect him to be able to wear any kind of device whilst flying, but there's no reason why he can't put one on as soon as he's back on land, using a plastic seal to guarantee his fidelity even if you're not there to do so. Indeed, if he's going to be away on business for a while, he can be sent out with several plastic padlocks, with instructions on when he may release himself to follow. Even if it's something you wouldn't ordinarily consider, phone sex in such circumstances can be surprisingly romantic, and his mobile phone camera will guarantee he's honest about locking himself up again afterwards.

Getting in the way

Although a man can wear a male chastity device while going about his everyday business without any trouble at all, there are some activities where the presence of a plastic cage around his cock can prove problematic. Aggressive contact sports such as rugby are best avoided whilst locked in such a device, for obvious reasons - the risk of it causing injury or even shattering during a forceful tackle is too great. Gentler forms of exercise should pose no problem beyond a little discomfort as the device bobs around between his legs, although a little care should be taken when mounting a bicycle, as he'll soon discover the first time he forgets to hold his wrapped-up package to one side on the saddle!3

[3] Again, something my long-suffering husband has learnt first-hand!

All in the mind

So far in this chapter we've looked at the physical aspects of extended chastity, but that's far from being the entire story. Although it's perfectly possible for a man to wear a chastity device for longer periods of time, even months or years provided he's allowed the occasional release, it's important not to neglect the emotional aspects of doing so. Whereas a man who finds his penis beyond reach for a few hours is likely to find the anticipation of his eventual freedom arousing, it is difficult to maintain such heightened sexual tension for days on end. Over a prolonged period of chastity, his state of mind will inevitably change as any initial excitement wears off and his body becomes more accustomed to such feelings of frustration. Although how long this change takes may differ between men, each still has a point at which it occurs, after which their sexual drive becomes less pronounced, their behaviour more docile and submissive as a result.

At the other end of the scale, the motif of a man rolling over and going to sleep after he has satisfied his own needs has become something of a cliché, but it is not without an element of truth. Even if you were to lock him up again immediately after he's climaxed, it's unlikely that his chastity device will be anywhere near as effective as it was immediately prior to his orgasm, simply because his sexual needs have so recently been satisfied. It will take a little while before his inability to come really begins to bite again, during which you'll find it harder, if not impossible, to use such desires to motivate him as they did earlier. If nothing else, this demonstrates why you should have him pleasure you before you release him from his cage, rather than afterwards!

To successfully employ longer term chastity in your relationship, you'll need to develop an understanding of how long it takes your husband to move from each of these states to the next, as well as how best to use that knowledge in order to achieve the most from keeping him chastised. Some women find their men are most responsive when they're acutely aware of their frustration, whereas others prefer the quiet submission that comes once the burning need has died down. A little experimentation will help you discover what works for you and your husband, although obviously it won't be possible to maintain that state indefinitely - regularly periods of downtime are an inevitable feature of male chastity, whichever phase of the cycle does it for him.

The idea that a man can be kept permanently locked in a chastity belt without ever being permitted any kind of release is something that belongs firmly in the realms of fantasy. For reasons of health, let alone hygiene, he shouldn't go more than a couple of weeks without his testicles being allowed a good workout, although there's nothing that says that must be in the traditional way, as we shall see in the next chapter. Notwithstanding that, you can choose whatever works best for you - if you want to let him out every evening in order to satisfy your own needs, you're perfectly entitled to do so! If, however, you prefer the way your husband is after he's been chaste for a while, you'll find that this is something that can be achieved most, but not all of the time - sadly, one of the many ways that the reality of male chastity diverges from the fantasy that some might imagine it to be.

Change of mind

If you're exploring male chastity at the suggestion of your husband, you may find his enthusiasm for it wanes substantially once he realises just how the practicalities of being unable to touch himself differ from whatever idealised picture of chastity he had been imagining. It's sadly not uncommon for a man to insist that he wants to be locked up indefinitely, humiliated in a variety of bizarre ways and never allowed to come again, particularly if his ideas about male chastity have been shaped by reading some of the nonsense that passes as erotic fiction in this area. Once the initial arousal of having his fantasies apparently fulfilled begins to wear off, his tune soon changes - the man who was previously pleading to be locked up is now begging to be let out again!

That doesn't mean you have to pander to such behaviour, of course. It's good to encourage him to be open and honest about what turns him on, not least because you can use that knowledge to motivate him further. Nevertheless, nothing says you need to take any of his fantasies overly seriously, particularly if they're obviously impractical or unrealistic, let alone if they don't appeal. However much he might initially think otherwise, male chastity is about far more than mere wish fulfilment on his part. Keeping him under lock and key doesn't give him carte blanche to have you humour his every whim - quite the reverse, in fact. Once he's safely in his chastity device, it's your needs that he should be concerning himself with, and it does no harm to remind him of this should he push things too far, despite your arrangement being more mutual.

It would be easy to suggest that any protestations from your husband about his continued confinement should simply be ignored, cruelly laughed off with the threat of spending even longer locked away, but such unreasonable behaviour is best left to the aforementioned stories, a far cry from that of a loving wife. Instead, you'll want to discuss the matter to determine just how serious he is about wanting to be released - is he merely trying to cajole you into letting him out earlier than you had intended, a natural response to being sexually frustrated, or is he expressing a deeper unhappiness with the situation that warrants a timeout? At the end of the day, male chastity is something that needs to work for both of you if it is to be successful, and thus must be tailored to your individual needs rather than imposed by one party.

Should he ask to be let out early, therefore, you have a wealth of ways open to you. For starters, you can simply tease him a little about the predicament he finds himself in, and ask him how badly he wants to be let out - what's it worth? You can suggest that he might earn an early release by doing something special for you first, or you can encourage him to hang in there a little longer by suggesting that there might be a little something on the cards for him if he does - in both cases, it's better to keep any promises conditional so as to avoid making associations between complaining about his chastity device and being rewarded. If such offers fail to have the desired effect, express your disappointment and release him without any immediate sexual gratification, leaving him with the impression that it would have been better to have stayed the course - he'll be sure to think twice next time, something you can impress on him should he show an enthusiasm for being locked up in future!

It may be that prolonged male chastity, although attractive in principle, simply doesn't work out in practice for you and your husband, the drawbacks of longer term confinement outweighing its benefits as far as your particular situation is concerned. However much it might work for other couples, there's no point in trying to force a square peg into a round hole simply to live up to unreasonable expectations. Despite the occasional frustration it may cause him, male chastity should remain exciting, fulfilling and above all, fun for both the wearer and his keyholder. If you're finding that it has lost its sparkle, there's no shame in reverting back to more sporadic use of his chastity device, perhaps using it to spice up your sex life occasionally or as a fantasy to be rôle-played for a few days once in a while rather than imposed full-time.

An interesting half-way house is to have him wear the device during your time of the month. Not only does this stop your husband pestering you for sex while you have other matters to attend to, the minor discomfort and inconvenience caused by its presence between his legs gives him some appreciation of what you're going through too. Moreover, unlikely a man who remains in chastity all the time, it's harder for him to become accustomed to such an intermittent awkwardness, helping him to become more in tune with your cycle and thus more accommodating of any problems you might experience as a result of it.

Of course, many couples find that longer term male chastity is exactly what they've been missing in their marriage, adding an additional dimension to their relationship in a way that deepens the bond between them. In the next chapter, we'll look at some ways in which you can keep it fresh and exciting, even if he's wearing his chastity device for you all day, every day.