taming the caged beast

Chapter 5: How do we ensure male chastity stays interesting?

Playing games

So far we've seen how you can use a male chastity device to encourage your husband to pay attention to your needs rather than selfishly concentrating on his own, providing him with all the motivation he needs to ensure your desires are properly satisfied before his can be fulfilled. We've also looked at how you can gradually lengthen the amount of time he spends in such a device, using longer periods of chastity to develop a more submissive state of mind rather than relying solely on his heightened sexual frustration to achieve results. In this chapter, we'll look at how these two can be brought together for maximum effect, making long term chastity exciting and rewarding for both of you.

If you've been brought up with the kind of traditional romantic images much beloved of Hollywood, in which couples climax together as a way of expressing their love for one another, you may find yourself wondering whether that can be anything other than a pipe-dream - after all, surely one obvious drawback of restricting how often your husband comes is that you too must suffer similar frustration? Fortunately for those readers with a healthy sex drive of their own, that's far from the case! We've already considered the idea of having him pleasure you first as part of an extended foreplay, but there's no reason why that can't be taken a stage further, separating his satisfaction and yours entirely save for the knowledge that each will be reciprocated in due course. Doing so certainly doesn't mean you love each other any less - indeed, by focusing entirely on their partner's pleasure, a couple demonstrates greater affection for each other than if they were selfishly pursuing their own needs.

Male chastity shouldn't stop you from enjoying sex as and when you want it, however long your husband is denied an orgasm. It's easy to move from having him pleasure you before being released to having him do so several times over consecutive nights, increasing the exchange rate between your orgasms - it can be as simple as telling him that from now on, you'll expect two of yours for every one of his, or three, or five, or however many takes your fancy. Although the immediacy of reward is lost, the underlying motivation remains the same - if he's to satisfy his own needs, he must look after yours first, however long that may take.

Faced with such a situation, some men may be tempted to try and game the rules, delivering multiple orgasms in one sitting in an attempt to make up their allotted quota in as short a time as possible. While it can be very pleasant to be on the receiving end of such an effort, it's important to remind him that you're not a mindless machine when it comes to counting numbers - since you're in control, you're entirely at liberty to decide what counts and what doesn't. You can ease your requirements a little if he's done an especially good job, or you can rigidly insist that bringing you off multiple times in an evening only counts as one for the purposes of scoring. You can choose when and where you want them, all the while reminding him just who holds the keys to that cage around his cock - it's completely up to you.

Obviously he won't be able to use his penis to give you those orgasms, but that merely means he'll need to be creative with the rest of his body. Some men are naturally more adept at using their hands and tongues than others, but with a little guidance even the most inexperienced can become proficient at pleasuring you orally and manually. Although it's beyond the scope of this guide, there are a number of good books available on the subject should he need a helping hand to get him started, but simply providing constructive feedback about what works and what doesn't is often enough - after all, with his chastity device to motivate him, he's sure to be an eager learner!

Alternatively, you can have your husband use a vibrator or a dildo on you, the effects of which can be just as erotic for him to watch as they are for you to experience. Such implements can be hand held, or they can be strapped to his body to allow him to put a more natural amount of force behind them. You can even get ones that can be worn on the chin, giving him a ringside view of the action, as well as those that attach to certain of the more expensive chastity belts as though they were real. Either way, an artificial phallus is sure to do the job your husband's own member has been denied, while remaining exquisitely frustrating for him! Pleasuring you with one is something he's sure to find intensely arousing, as he dedicates himself single-heartedly to your delight.

Keeping him on his toes

While it's always nice to receive an orgasm from a man utterly devoted to your pleasure, you don't have to have a hard and fast rule about the number of times he must satisfy you before earning his release. There's nothing to stop you making it up as you go along, or indeed, inventing games whereby his chances of being let out of his cage are increased the happier he makes you, without any firm guarantee of you doing so, helping to avoid a mechanical or lacklustre performance on his part that might result from an overly rigid devotion to numbers. You can keep things entirely at your discretion, or you can throw an element of chance in to the mix to keep him on his toes.

For instance, when introducing the idea of not being allowed out every time he satisfies you, have a coin to hand and make a point of tossing it to decide whether or not you should return the favour. Regardless of how it lands the first time, declare that he's lost the toss and suggest he may have better luck next time - for now, however, he's staying in his cage because the coin has spoken. On subsequent occasions, you can either stick to its result, or choose to change it to reflect your desired outcome, demonstrating that although he may be at the mercy of Lady Luck, you're still ultimately in control. Similar games can be played with dice or packs of cards, the random nature of which means that he won't know in advance how lucky he'll be that evening.

Alternatively, you can use his chastity device to motivate him by awarding him points for good behaviour, requiring a certain number of points before you'll consider releasing him. Each orgasm he gives you might warrant so many points, as might helping around the house or otherwise making your life easier. On the other hand, points could be deducted should he fail to live up to expectations. He'll soon learn not to leave his dirty clothes lying around the bedroom when doing so pushes his long awaited release even further into the future, whereas washing up after the romantic meal he's cooked for you will seem far less of a chore should it offer the prospect of winning your favour afterwards. Again, you don't have to give him points automatically, but can use your discretion as to when he deserves them, upping the stakes periodically to encourage him to try harder, relaxing them occasionally should you feel he needs a break.

An interesting variant is to combine awarding points for good and bad behaviour with an element of chance. For this, you'll want a bag and some beads of two distinct colours. One kind, say a white bead, is added to the bag every time he does something that merits rewarding, the other, say a black bead, is added whenever he lets you down. Periodically, perhaps once or twice a week, he is allowed to pick a bead at random from the accumulated contents of the bag - if it's white he's allowed release, whereas if it's black he must remain in his cage until next time. It's easy to see how varying the initial contents of the bag, along with the numbers of beads you add each time, can make it more or less likely that he'll be allowed out. You can empty the bag after he's chosen, or let the beads build up inside - regardless of the precise details, his chances of being released are related to how well he's behaved, and yet utterly beyond his control, making for a most entertaining game.

Rather than keeping track of points, you may prefer to keep him chastity for a certain number of days, using the threat of adding additional time as a means to keep him in line. He'll not want to disappoint you when he knows that doing so means spending even longer frustrated, particularly if you drive the message home to him over the course of that extra time. “You could have been out today if you hadn't let me down like that”, you can tell him, “and I was so looking forward to playing with you too”, pouting playfully. Once he's earned himself extra time by misbehaving, you can suggest ways he might make it up to you, restoring the status quo while leaving him with the impression that making amends has paid off. Should he spontaneously go out of his way to do something special for you, rewarding him with an early release sends a similar message that paying attention to your needs and desires is worth his time and trouble.

You can declare from the outset how long you're planning on locking him up for, or you can keep it a secret. There's nothing like not knowing how long he's got to serve in it to make being trapped in a chastity device frustrating for your husband, particularly should any attempt to find out how long you've got in mind only result in further time being added to his sentence. Such treatment is an ideal way of teaching him not to bother you about his chastity every time he's feeling horny, but to learn to accept it as being entirely out of his hands, welcoming his eventual release as an unexpected gift from you.

There are countless ways in which such ideas can be combined, providing enough variety that male chastity should never become dull. It's best not to take any of them too seriously, but approach them as light-hearted games to add a little fun to your relationship, keeping him on his toes and making him jump through hoops in order to earn release. Provide enough of a challenge to have him work for it, yet never leave him with the impression that getting out is impossible or that you don't love him - after all, male chastity should be about drawing you closer together by means of a sexy secret that you share. If a particular idea doesn't work, ditch it and try something else, keeping things fresh and novel all the while.

In his head

It's hard for a man to forget that he's wearing a chastity device, the constant presence between his legs reminding him of his surrender to your control as he goes about his daily business, but there may be times when you don't feel like exerting any additional influence beyond that passive presence. The pressures of life can be such that you have more practical matters to attend to, such that after a hard day at work, actively reinforcing the erotic significance of his chastity comes a distant second to relaxing in front of the television!

In such a situation, the last thing you want is for maintaining your husband's chastity device to become yet another chore, but equally you don't want him to feel ignored, locked up and left to fester uncared for like a prisoner in a medieval dungeon. Unlike his keyholder, the wearer of a male chastity device can't put it to one side for a while without taking it off completely - for him, male chastity is a full-time business, at least for as long as his cock remains locked up out of reach. A little attention on your part can make all the difference between making him feel loved and leaving him feeling neglected.

With that in mind, it's useful to cultivate ways of making your husband feel special about his submission to you that don't require too much effort on your part. The occasional comment about his chastity, dropped in passing as part of an ordinary conversation, can be enough to let him know you're still thinking of him, even if you're not in the mood for more active play. You don't need to go to too much trouble to achieve this - simply referring to yourself as his keyholder where normally you might use the first person can work a treat, as can using a pet name for his imprisoned member. You can even refer to his cock and balls as yours - after all, you're the one who now has control over them!

If he's heading for the shower, for instance, it can be as simple as “Don't forget to keep my toy clean”, without any implication that you'll need it any time soon. It doesn't take much more effort to briefly inspect your plaything afterwards, cupping it in your hands before sending him on his way again. “Are you still safely locked up for me?” or “Everything comfortable down there?” are great questions to ask alongside a gentle caress of his groin, something that works just as well when you're snuggling together in front of the television as it does to greet him on returning from work. You can have him show you from time to time, or simply change the subject and move on to other matters - either way, the point is made. If you're doing this right, his mind will be working overtime to tease and frustrate his body without the need for any further exertion on your part, keeping him on edge for when you really do feel like letting him out to play!

Just rewards

Just as your husband can pleasure you without using his penis, there's no reason why he should be rewarded with regular intercourse when he's finally let out of his cage. If you're not in the mood for traditional lovemaking, there are many other ways in which his lust may be slaked, some of which he'll find more satisfying than others. The key you hold grants you the power to choose among them as you see fit, such that the decision as to whether he's merely left to his own devices for a few minutes or rewarded with a special treat is entirely at your discretion. You may wish to reserve particular pleasures for when he's been especially good, using others for when his behaviour hasn't quite made the grade - his greater enjoyment of one rather than the other provides an additional incentive to please you.

At the lowest end of the scale, he can simply be sent off to the bathroom to sort himself out, returning once he's done his business and cleaned himself up in order for you to secure his chastity device once more, without the need for any further interaction from yourself. When contrasted with more intimate pleasures, only being permitted to masturbate out of sight may easily be regarded by your husband as a punishment, and so you may wish to present it as such - either as a consequence for letting you down, or merely as a response to an unwanted request for release. When told that yes, he can come out, but if he does you're not helping, whereas if he would only hang on a little longer, you might be more inclined to make it worth his while, many men choose to remain under lock and key, however desperate for release they might have been.

Supervised masturbation makes for a far more interesting game, however. Having to pleasure himself before an audience is something that some men find acutely embarrassing, but can be a surprisingly intimate experience, even if you never touch your husband in the process. Once his cage is removed, sit back and ask him to perform for you, whispering sweet nothings about how much seeing him at it turns you on, and what you'd like to do with his raging erection. You can give him instructions about how you want him to touch himself, and have him stop and start on command. By insisting that he lets you know whenever he's close to coming and having him ease off accordingly, you can keep him on edge for quite a prolonged period of time, teasing him all the while. The resulting state of mind is ideal for reminding him how you see male chastity working for you, and you can emphasise your control over the situation by requiring him to be entirely naked while you remain fully clothed.

Many of the same techniques can be employed should you choose to lend a hand. Again, have him inform you when he feels himself getting close to the point of no return, and let up a little until the danger has passed, keeping him hot and horny while you take the opportunity to let him know whatever's on your mind. You can go over the things he's done recently to please you, as well as those that have been a source of displeasure and have him promise to try harder, stroking his member to illustrate the benefits of co-operation or stopping from time to time to demonstrate the penalties of not doing so. You'll find your husband is incredibly malleable in such a state, making it easy to impress your needs and concerns with far more likelihood of him actually listening than if you were simply to have a regular conversation about such matters. You can also explore his fantasies and discuss what turns him on in order to make using his arousal to your advantage even more effective in future.

Of course, there's always the danger that your stimulation may push him a little too far, resulting in a sticky mess before you've finished everything you wanted to cover. This concern can be alleviated a little by informing him in advance that any little accidents will result in him tidying up afterwards, and not in a way that he'll enjoy! The threat of having to suck your gooey fingers clean, let alone lick up every last drop of his own sperm, is usually quite sufficient to deter any unfortunate incidents. Although some men may find the thought of such submission surprisingly arousing prior to it happening, practically all regard it as rather repulsive once they've finally climaxed - so much so that you may find carrying out such a threat rather challenging unless your husband is particularly submissive. A token gesture such as smearing a sticky finger across his lips is sufficient to make the point that he should do as he is told - right down to when he is allowed to come.

Provided he doesn't do so before you're ready, have him look you in the eyes as he shoots his load, or direct his attention to an intimately charged area of your body such that he learns to associate his sexual desires with you and you alone. In doing so, he'll come to regard you as a goddess among women, knowing every last detail of your beauty in a way that no other man can, permanently imprinted in his mind as a result of climaxing over your heavenly form. That may sound ridiculous at first glance, but give it a go - you'll be surprised!

None of this means you need deprive yourself of more traditional forms of lovemaking if that's what takes your fancy, but if you find that male chastity makes your husband more proficient with his tongue than with his penis, you can reserve letting him come inside you as a special treat - indeed, if he's been especially good, you may wish to reward him in ways he finds particularly pleasurable. If he has a penchant for receiving oral, for instance, you can dangle the prospect of being allowed to come in your mouth before him as one might a carrot on a stick, even if you have no intention of doing so on a regular basis, using it to encourage him to go beyond the call of duty from time to time or to up his game to an even higher level than before.

It shouldn't be too hard to see how this can be integrated with the concept of earning points we discussed earlier - indeed, you can offer a graduated series of rewards whereby he needs to earn a certain number of points even to be let out of his cage, rather more for you to masturbate him rather than expecting him to do so himself, and a still greater number for being allowed to give his fantasies free rein. Although the later may be practically unobtainable, you can still tease him about its possibility, while directing his attention to more modest options that just happen to be more palatable to your tastes. It takes a superhuman will to be able to hold out for a blow-job sometime in the future when the prospect of regular sex is on the table right now, particularly when the latter is presented in an irresistibly enticing manner. It's easy to give him the illusion of a little control while actually having him eat out of the palm of your hand - the key you hold to his lock gives you that power.

Ruining his day!

As we discussed in the previous chapter, it's not practical to keep your husband in a permanent state of chastity - if nothing else, there are health reasons why his testicles should be allowed to perform their intended function once in a while, and you'll find it necessary to give his chastity device a thorough cleaning from time to time too. Since we're not talking any more frequently than every two or three weeks, most couples don't find this to be particularly problematic - indeed, many men are let out from their chastity devices on a much more regular basis. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that if that's what works best for you - if it is, you can skip this section entirely and enjoy the benefits that come from releasing him more often!

Some women, however, find that longer term denial is more effective when it comes to motivating their husband. If you're among their number, you may find there are occasionally times when he's been locked up for longer than you'd strictly like but doesn't deserve to be let out at that moment, perhaps as a result of a recent indiscretion. You may feel that even allowing him just to masturbate would send the wrong kind of message, but are concerned about how long he's already spent in his chastity device. If you find yourself on the horns of such a dilemma, fear not - it's perfectly possible for a man's balls to get a good workout without it being particularly pleasurable for him, by means of what is known as a ruined orgasm.

A ruined orgasm is, in essence, one with little or none of the pleasure usually associated with such relief. Although the testicles and penis are put through their paces, with an erection occurring and semen being expressed in the usual fashion, the man experiencing such a climax is unlikely to regard it as particularly eventful. Psychologically, a ruined orgasm leaves him just as frustrated as before, despite satisfying his body's physical need for release, and thus is ideal for men who deserve to be denied a little longer than might otherwise be possible.

To achieve this effect, start by stimulating him with your hand, but do so in such a way as to bring him to the edge as soon as possible, stroking his penis with clinical efficiency until he can take no more. As soon as his orgasm starts, withdraw your hand suddenly and distract his attention by means of sharply slapping or pinching his backside - the shock of such treatment will cause him to forget about the sperm that's dribbling from his now rapidly deflating member, taking away even the small amount of pleasure that might otherwise have come from such perfunctory masturbation.

Despite being thoroughly unsatisfactory, his body will regard business as being concluded, and however much he may still long for proper relief, his penis will be subject to the usual downtime that follows more regular ejaculation. If you really want to drive the point home, have him consume at least part of his semen afterwards as part of his penance - pushing your hand to his mouth with the expectation that it should be licked clean is ideal for this, particularly if you've used it to catch some of his output while he was being distracted by other things. Not only will he have been denied the usual pleasures that come from such a discharge, he'll also be left with a bad taste in his mouth too, making for quite a contrast when compared to the delights of more traditional intercourse. Be sure to take the opportunity to express your sadness he hadn't been good enough to deserve anything more, along with a hope that his behaviour will improve so that such treatment isn't warranted again in future.

If this all sounds unreasonably cruel, there's no reason why you have to incorporate such techniques into your chastity play - after all, how you use his chastity device is entirely up to you. So long as both you and your husband are happy with the way male chastity works in your relationship, nothing says you have to do things any differently. Nevertheless, some women find the idea of ruined orgasms to be one that fits well with their particular situation, and although their husbands may not particularly enjoy them at the time, they too appreciate the longer term benefits in terms of providing additional motivation that greatly outweighs any immediate distaste or aversion, in a similar way to the frustration of their chastity device itself.

It's worth noting in passing that the volume of semen produced by a man is roughly proportional to the length of time it has been since he last came, at least until his balls are full again. If you're collecting his emissions in order to have him recycle them, or simply to avoid making a mess, you'll soon get an idea of how much sperm your husband produces after a certain period in chastity, something that should remain reasonably constant over time. Should he suddenly produce a lot less, the chances are he's been able to slip out of his device as discussed in the previous chapter and come without either your knowledge or permission. Such a decrease in volume is a dead give-away, and one that he cannot deny - be sure to have him explain its occurrence, and take appropriate steps to ensure his chastity device is genuinely secure.