taming the caged beast

Chapter 2: What kind of male chastity device should we choose?

Cages, belts and tubes

In the previous chapter, we looked at the many advantages of male chastity for both your husband and yourself, not to mention the effect it can have on your relationship. Unfortunately, it is naïve to expect a man to be able to refrain from undesirable sexual activity, even if he is convinced of the need to do so. The power of the male libido is generally so strong that, despite the best of intentions, most men find it impossible not to follow their urges eventually, particularly if they are expected to remain chaste for longer periods of time.

Simply asking your husband to stop masturbating might work for a while, but without appropriate attention to his sexual needs, it's all too easy for him to fall back into old habits. Although the novelty of such a request can help, the immediate draw of his hand can prove very tempting, however much he may regret succumbing to it later. Moreover, it's understandable for a man to get carried away in the bedroom, following his basic instincts in a natural response to your feminine charms. However earnestly he might have promised to take things slowly in the cold light of day, such guarantees go out of the window once he's all hot and bothered. While few women would begrudge such a powerful testament to their attractiveness, let alone want their husband to suppress his urges entirely, many would welcome having a little more control over proceedings.

Fortunately, help is at hand in the form of a male chastity device, which helps to bolster even the weakest of willpowers. If you've never come across the idea before, your first thought may well be of some clunky metal contraption worn by a medieval maiden, but modern chastity devices are a world apart from such antiquated notions - not least in that they are available for men too! Although there are still traditional belts for those wanting something more substantial, there are also a variety of state-of-the-art cages and tubes in lightweight plastic. These transparent devices have an allure of their very own, as well as being practically unnoticeable to the wearer - except when his thoughts start to stray!

Regardless of its construction, the aim of a male chastity device is the same. Like the belts of yore, it locks in place, allowing the wearer to surrender control of his penis to whoever holds the keys, who is often referred to as his keyholder. When correctly fitted, it's impossible for a man to accidentally slip out of a chastity device, nor to intentionally remove it without his keyholder's knowledge or permission. That's not to say that such devices offer absolute security, of course - even the sturdiest of metal belts can be removed if the wearer is prepared to destroy it in the process. Nevertheless, they offer a more verifiable guarantee than just his word, as well as proving a significant impediment to temptation.

By raising the difficulty of pleasuring himself on the side, a male chastity device makes it much less likely that your husband will do so, providing strong motivation to do the right thing rather than succumbing to fleeting urges. Even if he could work his way out of it, the time and trouble involved is enough to make him think twice, defeating any transient weakness. In the bedroom, there's simply no competition - no man is going to choose to try tediously picking a lock by himself when his wife offers a far sexier way of earning his release. It's far more rewarding, not to mention quicker, simply to satisfy her!

Turning back to the subject of temptation, consider for a moment a man who's accustomed to indulging in pornography while his wife is away. In the absence of a chastity belt, there's nothing to stop him doing so, however much he might subsequently hate himself for his lack of self-control. Indeed, it requires an active effort on his part not to succumb to such material when it's so readily available¹, being far easier for him to simply yield to his immediate desire for relief, however hollow and unfulfilling it may be. Such behaviour may even have become so ingrained as to be habitual, as much a way for him to relieve boredom as anything else, despite its deleterious effect on his relationship.

Should he be wearing a chastity device, however, the situation is reversed. Now the amount of exertion involved in sawing his way out of even the flimsiest of plastic prisons grossly outweighs the modest pleasure he might expect to gain from doing so, particularly when his wife's undoubtedly negative reaction is factored in! He'll find it simpler to sit out the urges, however frustrating that may be in the short term, and be richly rewarded for his patience in due course. So long as he can't remove his chastity device and put it back on again unnoticed, it achieves its purpose of ensuring he does the right thing.

Obviously, for a chastity device to be effective, it should also prevent the wearer from stimulating himself while it is being worn, covering enough of the penis to thwart any attempt to gain relief by masturbating with it still on. Obstructing access to the more sensitive tip or glans is generally sufficient to frustrate most men, although many devices enclose the entire shaft too. This brings the secondary benefit of restricting erections, the resulting sense of confinement serving to remind the wearer of its presence whenever he might otherwise have become unduly excited or aroused.

^[1] That's not to say that there's no place for pornography in a loving relationship, of course. Mutually enjoyed, such material can help spice things up, getting a couple in the mood as well as suggesting ideas that may expand their erotic repertoire. It is where a man chooses to keep his use of it a dirty little secret, selfishly satisfying his baser needs to the detriment of his wife and their marriage, that there is a problem, especially when it affects how he views her and other women in general.

What kind of devices are there?

To prevent them from being removed, most chastity devices employ a similar principle to a pair of handcuffs, fastening around a part of the body that's narrower than its surroundings, just as the wrists are compared to the hands. Once locked in place, such devices take advantage of the wearer's anatomy to keep them from falling off, in the same way that a handcuffed man cannot slip his bonds without them being loosened first. The shape of the male physique means there are only a small number of ways in which this can be realistically achieved, and thus male chastity devices can be categorised based on which of these they use.

Broadly speaking, there are three main types. Firstly, there are cages and tubes that make use of a cock ring behind the testicles to stay in place - ideal for beginners thanks to their price and convenience. More traditional chastity belts fasten around the waist or hips, offering greater security once the wearer has become accustomed to them, although rather more expensive. Finally, there are smaller tubes that employ a piercing through the penis to prevent them from being removed - definitely not for the squeamish!

Around the testicles

At the cheaper end of the market, most male chastity devices rely on trapping the testicles, although thankfully that's nowhere near as painful as it sounds! If you ever have opportunity to look dispassionately at a man's genitalia², you'll observe that the testicles are relatively large and solid compared to the soft skin of the surrounding scrotum. Cup them in your hand, and you'll soon discover how a band fastened just above the testicles would prevent them from escaping - with his balls in your palm, you can use your finger and thumb to see how this would work, closing them together before pulling very gently.

What we've just described is more accurately known as a ball stretcher, but many chastity devices employ a similar principle, albeit in two parts. First, a cock ring is worn at the base of the penis, situated between the body and the testicles. A cage or tube is then slipped over the shaft and attached to the top of the cock ring, forming a small gap between the ring on one side and the bottom of the tube on the other through which the scrotum passes, allowing the testicles to dangle comfortably below. The two parts are then locked together, as Figures 2.1, 2.2 and 2.3 illustrate.

That might sound complicated, but in practice it's remarkably simple. Once locked in place, the wearer's testicles are on the wrong side of a gap that's too small for them to pass through, preventing the device from being removed without being unlocked first. As a result, the penis is imprisoned in the cage, which may be a completely solid tube or a more open, ventilated design. Either way, a hole at the end allows urine to pass, but it and any other air vents are too small for a finger to enter, keeping the wearer from touching, let alone stimulating his penis without first being released from its clutches.

Figure 2.1: The principle component of a male chastity device comes in many styles. Two are shown here - a barred cage (top row), and a more streamlined tube (bottom row). Two opaque guide pins allow each to be aligned with the second part of the device, one of the cock rings shown in Figure 2.2.

Figure 2.2: The cage or tube shown in Figure 2.1 is kept in place by means of a cock ring, which may be either solid or hinged (top row). A locking pin (middle left) is inserted through this ring and spacers (bottom row) used to maintain the distance between the two parts. A traditional padlock (middle right) or a one-use plastic seal (middle centre) is then used to lock them together.

Figure 2.3: The complete ensemble. Observe the gap between the cock ring and the main body of the device. The wearer's scrotum passes through this gap, with his testicles dangling on the far side, unable to be pulled back again without the device being unlocked first.

There are many variations on this basic style. Rather than having a separate ring and tube, some feature a one-piece design with a handcuff that fastens behind the testicles. Others come with a range of different sized rings and spacers to allow the fit to be tailored to the individual wearer. Often they are made from rigid plastic, usually clear although occasionally coloured, but metal versions are also available, either stainless steel or chrome plated.

Most chastity cages are “one size fits all” products, readily available “off the shelf” from a range of suppliers at a modest cost. Their unobtrusive design is easily hidden under clothing, and the lightweight plastic of most models is far from burdensome. Those that are transparent reveal the predicament of the imprisoned penis within, a sight that can be surprisingly arousing for both the wearer and his keyholder as it bulges helplessly inside its confinement.

Plastic is weak however, both physically and psychologically speaking, making it easier to break - whether accidentally, or on purpose. The trapped testicle design relies on the scrotum being loose enough to pass through the gap between the two parts of the device, which can be problematic for men whose balls hang particularly close to the body, especially in cold weather. Moreover, since only the testicles are trapped, this kind of device isn't as secure as the more traditional chastity belt - some men are able to pull their shaft out of the cage entirely. How difficult this is depends on the individual and the device in question, and reinserting it afterwards can prove rather more of a challenge.

^[2] If you've never done so before, take the time to explore your man sometime!

Around the waist or hips

Just as a regular belt keeps a man's trousers up, a traditional chastity belt can fasten likewise, relying on his hips being wider than his waist to prevent it being removed. The wearer's penis is inserted into a tube that attaches to the main band of the belt at the front, resting snugly against the body and preventing any access to its contents. The base of the tube is held in place by a chain or wire that passes between the buttocks before attaching to the rear of the belt. Once everything is fastened in place, the belt can be locked closed, either with a padlock or a more integrated mechanism.

Again, there are variations. The main band of the belt rests just above the hips in some models, and around the waist itself in others. There may be two chains that pass over the buttocks rather than one between them for increased hygiene, or there may be a wider band with an appropriated placed opening to allow for defecation. The front of the belt may be designed to give a smooth, feminine appearance and both the tube and the belt itself may have special linings to allow longer, more comfortable wear. Finally, some manufacturers offer a wide range of accessories to allow the wearer to pleasure a woman with an artificial phallus or to be punished while still wearing the belt.

These belts are usually custom made by individual suppliers, and thus are tailored to the precise measurements of the wearer. Generally constructed of metal, they are bulkier and significantly more expensive than their cheaper plastic alternatives, but correspondingly more secure. When correctly fitted, the penis is completely inaccessible and it's impossible to remove the belt without the key unless you're prepared to resort to using heavy duty equipment. The studier design does require more getting used to however, and wearing one long-term poses certain hygiene challenges, particularly at the rear.

Through the penis

Given its nature, male chastity appeals to a wide range of people, some of whom have more exotic tastes than others. Some are completely unfazed by the idea of genital piercings whereas others have an instinctive repulsion to anything needle related. If you're the latter, you can skip this section entirely - it's perfectly possible to enjoy the benefits of keeping your husband chaste without giving him any additional holes, as the rest of this chapter should hopefully demonstrate. If even regular piercings aren't your kind of thing, there's no need for one in such an intimate location - one of the other types of device will work just as well, particularly when you're just starting out.

Nevertheless, if your partner already has a pierced penis, or can be persuaded to acquire one, it offers a wealth of possibility as far as male chastity is concerned. Not only can such a piercing be used to increase the security of a regular chastity cage or tube, preventing the penis from being pulled out by securing it inside, it also allows the wearing of devices specifically designed for this kind of attachment. These usually take the form of smaller tubes that cover the shaft of the penis, held in place by a bar that passes through the piercing which can then be locked in place. Some are supported solely by this bar, whereas others have an additional cock ring to take most of the weight.

Such tubes are more the domain of those who already have extensive experience of male chastity and who welcome the unrivalled combination of security and convenience that they have to offer. Like the traditional chastity belts we discussed earlier, these tubes are usually hand crafted by a small number of custom workshops and are thus correspondingly expensive. Their smaller design makes them more discrete under clothing as well somewhat less noticeable to the wearer, although the weight of a metal tube can pose a problem if only the piercing is supporting it. Obviously, the range of devices available depends on the particular type of piercing present, and if your husband doesn't have one already, it will take some time for a new piercing to become suitable for such purposes. They're certainly not for the squeamish!

Which is best?

Each type of male chastity device has its own advantages and disadvantages, but fundamentally they all work the same way, preventing the wearer from touching or stimulating his penis without the keyholder's permission. The differences between the various kinds of device lie in more practical considerations, the trade-off between comfort, cost, security and convenience being key when it comes to choosing the right one for you and your husband. This will naturally depend on your individual situation, and as such there is no one choice that is best for everyone. Nevertheless, there are a some points to bear in mind.

Firstly, if you're exploring the idea of male chastity at the suggestion of your husband, you may find he's surprisingly knowledgeable about the variety of devices available and can recommend something appropriate. Indeed, he may already have one of his very own, having experimented with it in secret for a while before building up the courage to approach you about the subject. Doing so will not have been easy for him, and although it would be understandable if your initial reaction was less than positive, it's worth taking advantage of such an unexpected development rather than looking a gift horse in the mouth.

Admittedly, he may need to be disabused of some of his more outlandish ideas, particularly if his interest in male chastity stems from preposterous stories he's read online, but that doesn't mean you can't put his sounder knowledge of the area to good use. After all, he'll be the one wearing such a device, albeit on more sensible, mutually agreed terms rather than anything straight out of his fantasies. If he's got one already, all the better - a man who has already broken himself into male chastity needs much less of the gradual introduction that we'll discuss in the next chapter, allowing you to set the pace instead.

If your husband is just as new to the idea as you are, you may find the range of devices available rather daunting. When considering one for the first time, it's best to choose a style that offers sufficient flexibility to allow you to experiment with various configurations rather than one with fixed dimensions. Many of the popular off-the-shelf models come with a number of different sized cock rings and locking pins, allowing the device to accommodate a wider range of wearers than if it only came with one. After all, the male physique varies enormously, and the genitals are no exception. Some men have lower hanging testicles, whereas others, however much they may be loathe to admit it, have smaller penises. What may be comfortable for one may be too constricting for another - the sweet spot of comfort and security is a most individual thing.

Consequently, it's best to think of your husband's first device as more of an initial exploration into the world of male chastity, giving you a taste as to what to expect from it rather than necessarily being the be all and end all of chastity devices that he'll wear forever after. Once you've gained more of an appreciation for what's involved you'll be in a better position to make such decisions, but it's practically inevitable that whatever you choose will need some refinement along the way. As such, an off-the-shelf plastic chastity cage or tube with a range of cock rings and locking pins is an ideal place to start. The models illustrated in the figures above are two popular choices, but there are others that offer similar benefits in terms of cost and flexibility for those new to the practice of male chastity.

Shop online

Such is the interest in male chastity that you'll find a variety of online forums discussing the pros and cons of particular models of chastity device, as well as wider issues associated with keeping your husband's penis under lock and key. While these can offer useful and impartial advice, it's worth taking anything you read on them with a healthy pinch of salt - as with any Internet community, there are some members who are more reputable than others. Sadly, male chastity is an area that is particularly plagued with fantasists - so much so that it would be easy to come away with the impression that only twisted perverts engage in chastity play. Rest assured that this is far from the case!

Admittedly, there are many who combine male chastity with other, less orthodox sexual practices, some of which we'll be discussing in a later chapter. The inherent submission in surrendering control over such an intimate aspect of a man's life naturally attracts those with an interest in other forms of sexual submission too. Readers of my other books will know that I am fond of having my husband wear lingerie for instance, but however much I might recommend such a practice³, there's absolutely no need to do so in order to enjoy the benefits that male chastity has to offer. The same is true for more overt domination and bondage, let alone some of the more obscure things out there. There's no reason why you can't experiment with whichever aspects of them might take your fancy, without any compulsion to do so whatsoever. Male chastity works by itself.

Alas, there are some men who delight in telling all manner of tall tales about how they've been kept in a chastity device against their will for years without any form of relief, inevitably accompanied with the most lurid details of cruel and unpleasant torments meted out by an abusive partner who lacks any kind of concern for their health or well-being. While no-one apart from the writers will ever know for certain, it's a fair bet that such stories are spun by sad single men who have never experienced the love and warmth of a real relationship, let alone one that has been enhanced by the practical use of a chastity device. It should go without saying that male chastity in real life is the antithesis of such unlikely nonsense, being a strictly consensual arrangement that benefits both parties.

Nevertheless, provided you can sift the wheat from such chaff, the Internet can be a surprisingly fertile source of information when it comes to choosing the right kind of male chastity device for your husband. However unusual it may seem, they're really just another product that can be purchased online just as you might any other. In a similar way to buying a new television, dishwasher or freezer, it pays to read up on reviews and shop around to get the best deal, using other people's experiences with particular models to help you along the way. As with any online purchase, choose a reputable retailer that has good recommendations, using your common sense to ensure a safe and successful transaction, just as you would when buying something more mundane.

^[3] if you're curious, brassièred: a complete guide to brassière discipline will tell you everything you need to know about why bras aren't just for women.