put him in panties
Chapter 7: Shopping for Him
We've discussed the theory behind erotic feminization, lingerie discipline and lingerie punishment - now it's time to put things into practice! In the second half of this book, we'll be looking at particular garments from the perspective of having your husband wear them, considering their individual merits for such purposes as well as how best to put them to use. Some items are better suited to certain ends than others, and some have quite different effects when worn by a man rather than a woman. We'll be exploring all the practical aspects of putting your husband in lingerie over the remaining chapters, as well as including a host of tips and tricks drawn from the experiences of other women who have benefited from adding a little feminine finery to their husband's wardrobe - whether for discipline, punishment or simply some sexy fun.
As espoused throughout this book, we'll be following a loose progression from garments that are easier to those that are more demanding - not only in terms of the effect they have on the man wearing them, but also the effort needed to keep them hidden in public and the ease with which they can be introduced. We'll begin by looking at panties and thongs, which offer an ideal place to start feminizing your husband's underwear, then move on to hosiery - both stockings and pantyhose. Next we'll consider what bras can do for him, before turning to sterner foundation wear - basques, girdles and corsets. Finally, we'll look at outfits designed for the purpose of imposing a particular role upon a man - the uniforms of maids, schoolgirls, secretaries and bimbos.
There are exceptions to any rule, but in general, a garment from a particular chapter trumps those from preceding ones with regards to its impact upon the wearer, being more noticeable to both him and those around him. While a man may be acutely aware of his panties if they're the only lingerie that he's wearing, putting him in stockings as well makes it more likely his hosiery will occupy his attention instead. Even a heavily padded bra can become an afterthought when worn on top of an excruciatingly tight corset, only becoming noticeable when the contents of its cups physically get in the way. Although huge false breasts would normally be unforgettable, the corset takes precedence for the most part by virtue of being more imposing. A degree of care is therefore required when combining lingerie in order to achieve the desired effect.
While a pair of soft, silky panties may be a world apart from a tightly laced corset in terms of physical sensations, they nevertheless still have their place in a man's lingerie drawer. Quite apart from being a more pleasurable experience when worn in the bedroom, they have the added benefit of being easy to hide under everyday clothing, as well as being something that your husband can wear all day, every day - not something that's practical with a corset! Each is a different tool for a different situation - the corset being far better suited for use as a punishment than everyday attire, the panties more appropriate for bedroom fun and games than as a means of atonement through discomfort.
How to buy lingerie for your husband
Regardless of how you'll be putting it to use, you'll need to buy your husband his own lingerie if he's not to wear yours - something that can prove a little daunting if you've never done so before. Not only are there the practicalities of finding something in a suitable style and size for the purposes you have in mind, there's the natural fear that others will somehow know who you're buying for when you're shopping for your husband's first panties and bra. Many women confess to being just as nervous as a man might be if he were shopping for himself, however much buying underwear might ordinarily be second nature for them. Rest assured that there's absolutely no need for such concern - you can idly peruse the racks of frillies to your heart's content, safe in the knowledge that anyone watching will assume you're looking for yourself. After all, it's perfectly natural for a woman to be there, unlike a man, who might seem a little out of place nervously flicking through a bunch of bras.
A large department store or even a supermarket makes the perfect place to shop for your husband's first bra and panties, the impersonal nature of such an establishment being preferable to an intimate lingerie boutique. Ironically, choosing a busy time makes it less likely that you'll attract attention, but even if a shop assistant does enquire whether you need help, there's no cause for alarm - a polite “Thanks, I'm just browsing” is all that's required to see her on her way without any need for further explanation. At the checkout, she may double-check the sizes of your purchases with you, something that's often store police to ensure customers aren't disappointed when they get home, but again, a simple “Thanks, that's fine” is enough - she's simply doing her job. At the end of the day, a sale is a sale from her employers perspective, and it's unlikely they pay her enough to give you a moment's thought once you're out of sight, just another customer in an endless queue before home time.
Besides, even if you were to tell the shop assistant exactly who you were shopping for, the worst you might expect from her is polite disinterest - it would be unprofessional for her to risk losing a sale by passing judgement. She might think you were a little kinky, or even share a laugh at your husband's expense, but the chances are she's seen much worse - as a fellow woman, you could never be as bad as some of the men she's encountered in the course of her job, perverts and weirdos being something of an occupation hazard for those who sell lingerie. Indeed, you're probably not the first woman she's encountered shopping for her husband - it's not that uncommon an activity, as you might discover were you to get chatting to her. There's no need to do so, however - simply go about your transaction in a professional manner, and your husband's new lingerie is in the bag, both literally and figuratively speaking.
Some of the more obscure garments we'll be looking at tend not to be available on the high street - traditional foundation wear such as girdles and corsets are generally restricted to specialist retailers. Fortunately, many of these now have an online presence, allowing you to shop for your husband's corsetry safe in the anonymity of your own home, without ever having to explain your reasons for purchasing such items. The same is true for more regular attire in larger or unusual sizes - stockings and stilettos to fit a rugby player, for example, or bras to fit a wide, flat chest. You can even find maid's uniforms specifically designed for men, no matter what their size. Even if you'd never contemplate buying your own lingerie online, doing so for your husband can work a treat - allowing you to explore the full range of feminine attire for him with none of the drawbacks of doing so in person.
If you're on a budget, you'll find the cheap underwear available at discount stores just as effective for the purposes of erotic feminization, lingerie discipline and lingerie punishment - it merely needs to be appropriate for the job at hand, rather than being anything special. For your husband's first foray into the world of women's underwear, there's a lot to be said for cheap and cheerful regardless of your income - such garments can be just as feminine as more expensive options, if not more so, even if they're not necessarily your style. With low cost lingerie making an appearance in many supermarkets these days, you certainly don't need to spend a fortune kitting your husband out, allowing you to experiment to your heart's content without breaking the bank. He can always graduate to something more upmarket in due course, once you know exactly what you want him to wear - especially if he's the one paying for it!
When purchasing lingerie for your husband, it's important to focus on what the garments in question will achieve when he's the one wearing them, rather than merely applying the same criteria you might use when shopping for underwear yourself. Although finding an appropriate compromise between comfort and style can be rather time consuming when looking for something you'll be wearing all day, practically anything that's roughly the right size will do for something he'll be wearing only in the bedroom, so long as it's feminine enough to work its magic on him. It can be hard to put such an ingrained habit to one side, but you really can just trawl the “sale rail” for things that catch your eye. So long as the size is right, there's no need for the kind of monotonous traipsing back and forth to the fitting room you might normally dread - simply take your bargains home and have your husband do the rest.
Finding the right size
It can be hard enough to figure out your own size sometimes, what with the way our bodies change over time, not to mention the games that stores play in an attempt to flatter their customers - so how on earth can you be expected to know that of your husband? Fortunately, it's far easier than you might think - as we'll see in the relevant chapters, a couple of simple rules of thumb allow you to easily adapt men's sizes to those for women. You don't even need to get your tape measure out to make a rough guess at what your husband might be - a glance at his trousers and shirts can tell you everything you need to know without ever raising his suspicions. Of course, once he's wearing a bra and panties, you can take more detailed measurements or simply adopt a process of trial and error - going up a size if your first attempt was a little too small, down one if it was too large. It doesn't take long before you have the same kind of instinctive feel as to what will fit him as you do for yourself.
Buying lingerie for your husband is in many ways easier than doing so for yourself, because you don't have to get the size exactly right for him to be able to wear whatever you've purchased him. If something really is too small to be worn on a regular basis, it can nevertheless be retained for punishment purposes rather than having to be returned or exchanged. Consequently, it does no harm to err on the side of smallness when it comes to buying for your man - it's better for his underwear to be a little snug rather than a little loose. If it really is too tight, you can joke that he'd better come shopping with you next time, but unless you've grossly misjudged what will fit him, there are sure to still be occasions when he can wear it, no matter how much more comfortable he might be in something else!
Bringing him along
There's nothing like taking a man shopping for lingerie to bring out his submissive side, especially when the frillies in question are for him! Your husband's natural unfamiliarity with women's underwear is compounded when he's surrounded by racks and racks of feminine finery, leaving him utterly lost in a world that's altogether alien to him. Most men find buying sexy underwear for their wives to be challenging enough at the best of times, often grabbing the first thing that catches their eye, however unsuitable that may be, rather than spending any more time than they have to in such foreign territory. Take your husband to the lingerie department and tell him he won't be leaving until you're happy you've got what you came for and you'll find he becomes putty in your hands, completely dependent on you for guidance and exquisitely receptive to whatever ideas you wish to impress upon him.
When presented in an amorous context, shopping for lingerie together can be a surprisingly erotic experience, no matter how nerve-racking your husband may find it to begin with. He'll soon get into the spirit of things so long as you make an effort to reassure him, letting him know that there's nothing be afraid of among the racks of frillies, merely opportunities for future fun. After all, he won't be so nervous when you're alone together with your purchases in the bedroom later, helping each other slip into and out of the lacy confection that's currently before him - all he needs do is to go along with your little shopping trip, and you could be modelling such attire for him in the fullness of time. Encourage your husband to offer an opinion on what's in front of him, picking things out yourself and enquiring about his thoughts before having him suggest items that he thinks you would look good in.
By focusing on intimate attire for yourself to begin with, you can soon put your husband at ease, allowing you to move on almost automatically to looking for something for him as well. Spurred on by the thought of what he's got to look forward to, your husband may show similar enthusiasm for selecting his own attire so long as he's safe in the knowledge that he can express his softer, more feminine side without being thought any less of a man by you. Even if the lingerie department is full of other shoppers, what you and your husband are up to remains your little secret - something that can be just as much of an aphrodisiac as the actual garments in question. That doesn't mean you can't surreptitiously whisper about what your fellow customers are up to, of course, perhaps pointing out the fact that other couples are having nowhere near as much fun if, as is too often the case, the husbands look as though they're there solely to carry their wives' baggage. “Do you think he's wearing panties too? He certainly looks like he could do with sexing up”, you can giggle, “unlike you, gorgeous. You're going to look ever so hot for me tonight”.
Conversely, taking your husband shopping for women's underwear can work a treat when it comes to emphasising his submission to you. Just as lingerie discipline focuses on the psychological significance of such garments rather than their sexual appeal, a shopping expedition need not revolve around the erotic aspects of what you're buying. It can be just as effective to involve your husband in the purchase of lingerie for the purposes of discipline, taking him shopping as a means of really bringing his submissive side to the fore - perhaps in order to invest his new attire with meaning from the very beginning, or simply to remind him of his place. Idly browsing the racks of panties and bras is an ideal time to bring up any other matters he might want reminding off, knowing full well that your husband won't be going anywhere - especially if he's already all dressed up underneath his outerwear!
Having your husband pick out and purchase his own underwear all by himself is something that makes for a deliciously naughty dare, but can also be used as a punishment too. Even something as simple as picking up pantyhose as part of the grocery shopping takes on new meaning for the man who must do so because he has snagged his nylons, providing him with all the incentive he needs to take more care of his hosiery in future. Being expected to buy his own bras and panties takes things to a whole new level, combining the inherent difficulties that most men have when it comes to shopping for sexy lingerie for their wives with the additional complications of doing so for himself - all the more so should he be wearing a full complement of women's underwear at the time. You can watch from afar as though you were another customer, expecting him to take his purchases to the counter and pay for them himself, or simply expect him to return home with something sexy to surprise you - just like a woman might for her man!
Of course, for your husband to be able to purchase his own lingerie without your assistance, he needs to be fully acquainted with his size in female terms rather than the men's sizes he's more used to. However much of a fantasy it may be for some submissive crossdressers, it simply isn't realistic to expect him to try on items in the shop, which means that his size is all he has to go on until you can appraise his purchases in the privacy of your own home. Nor is it prudent to tell the shop assistants who the garments in question are for, however much he may be convinced they already know all about his intimate attire - if asked, he need merely suggest that he's shopping for his wife, something that's true in a way. He'll hardly be the first man to look nervous and confused whilst shopping for women's underwear, after all - even men who are genuinely looking for a sexy gift to surprise their wives can find it quite daunting, and lingerie shop assistants are perfectly used to dealing with them.
So long as your husband remains respectful throughout, it's perfectly acceptable for him to ask for assistance, especially when offered. “I'm looking for something black and lacy in a larger size”, “Are there matching panties?” and “Have you got them in a size sixteen?” are all questions that might be asked by any customer. If he's feeling more confident, a simple “I'm fine, thanks anyway” is sufficient to discharge the professional duty of the shop assistant enquiring whether he needs any help - as we saw before, she's simply doing her job in the hope of achieving a sale. It's far better for your husband to ask for specific sizes than to suggest that his “wife” is “about my size”, however true such a give-away cliché may be, let alone anything more explicit. Obviously, “My wife is punishing me by making me buy lingerie and she wants you to humiliate me in the fitting rooms” is the stuff of fantasy and has no place here. It simply isn't fair for a professionally trained saleswoman to have to entertain such nonsense in the course of her job, however arousing the thought may be to devotees of erotic fiction.
However you take your husband shopping, and for whatever purpose, you'll find it adds a whole new aspect to his lingerie, enhancing its meaning as a result of his involvement in its purchase. Just as there's a certain magic to being given a gift, there's a similar something to having acquired an item through having had the courage to confront a challenging situation - even one as apparently unmacho as facing up to feminine frillies. The results will always be the bra that your husband bought or the panties that he picked - an intimate secret for the two of you to share whenever he wears them.
Styles and colours
Lingerie comes in all manner of styles, ranging from an ethereal gossamer negligée right through to a severely boned corset, from skimpy scraps of fabric to rather more substantial affairs, whether skin-tight or loose and floaty. While you may have an instinctive feel for the kind of underwear that works best for you in particular situations, it can be hard to know where to begin when it comes to your husband's intimate attire. In a sense, there's no right answer to this question - practically any lingerie can do the business, thanks to the uniquely feminine connotations that are associated with any item of women's underwear, even the plain and practical. Nevertheless, some styles are better suited to particular purposes than others, making it easier to achieve the effects you desire. If you're not sure what to go for, you can't go wrong following the advice presented below, but it's far from the be all and end all of the matter - if something catches your eye, or especially that of your husband, trust your gut feeling and go with it.
For your first foray into erotic feminization, the emphasis should be on something with sex appeal - the kind of lingerie that comes out when dressing to impress rather than might be worn on a more regular basis. It doesn't have to be especially tarty, although there can be a certain something to the burlesque in the bedroom, simply sexy enough to bring out a man's natural instincts. That can mean a provocative black and red lace affair or something more cute and girly, perhaps scrumptious satin in pastel pink, lined with bows and frills. Skimpier lingerie not only leaves less to the imagination, it also allows you to get hands on with your husband without his underwear getting in the way, as does looser nightwear - so you might consider a sexy babydoll or go for an unpadded half or quarter cup bra for easy access to your husband's nipples. A scanty thong makes his manhood all the more accessible, especially when he gets excited. Finally, don't forget lace topped stockings - whether you go for hold-ups or ones that attach to suspender clips, they're the perfect finishing touch to any sexy bedroom outfit.
More practical garments are more appropriate for lingerie discipline. The kind of underwear that many women wear everyday works just as well for a man who does likewise, with plain cotton panties being just as effective as anything more racy. Lingerie chosen with discipline in mind should be easy for your husband to hide under his regular clothing, presenting no obvious seams, lines or bumps to indicate its presence. Fancy trims are at a disadvantage here, but that doesn't mean your husband's underwear must be completely drab - a little lace can liven up an otherwise plain design. Choosing soft pastel colours or cute motifs is another way to emphasise the undeniably feminine nature of his intimate attire without making it any more prominent to the outside world - never underestimate the power of pink! Lastly, if your husband will be wearing a bra as well as panties, consider one with detachable straps - the multiway variety is ideal, not only keeping the bra strap bumps at bay but also allowing its straps to be criss-crossed to prevent embarrassing slippage.
When choosing lingerie for your husband to wear as a punishment, look for more substantial garments with less stretch in them, such as a woman might wear to help shape her body - control underwear and foundation wear are ideal in this respect. Bras with larger cups tend to have a more heavy duty design than those for less well endowed ladies, with thicker straps and sturdier material in order to support their intended load - even unladen, they impose more upon the man made to wear them. Those with moulded foam cups are particularly amenable to being used as punishment attire, as are longline brassières and bustiers - especially those with additional boning. Choose a strong, undeniable colour that will contrast with your husband's skin so as to show through a thin shirt or tight top. With regards to panties, look for ones with a thong back that's as narrow as you can find, and always opt on the side of smaller. Otherwise, style is unimportant - there may even be a certain value in making your husband wear distinctly unfashionable, dowdy attire if he ordinarily enjoys wearing sexy lingerie for you, so as to emphasise the distinction between the two.
There are no hard and fast rules, of course. In practice, it's how your husband responds to a particular garment that matters. If he finds that something you bought for fun in the bedroom is actually rather uncomfortable, you can reserve it for punishment purposes instead. Conversely, if your husband is actually turned on by wearing a heavily boned basque, finding its embrace far more stimulating than you had intended, you can add it to his playwear rather than using it to chastise him. Often, what works best as everyday attire is something found by a process of trial and error, seeing how your husband gets on in a range of different styles before settling on those that are particularly suited to his situation. There's no need to go out and buy him a whole new wardrobe all at once to achieve this, however - simply getting him something new from time to time as you develop the role of feminine underwear in your relationship will soon result in your husband having a lingerie drawer to rival any woman's!
If you're just starting out with erotic feminization, the main thing is to get your husband something in the way of women's underwear that he can call his own. With that in mind, let's begin our look at the specifics of male lingerie by considering panties for men and putting your husband in his very own!
