home lingerie discipline put him in panties Chapter 5: Lingerie Punishment

put him in panties

Chapter 5: Lingerie Punishment

As we saw in the last chapter, having a man wear women's underwear can be a highly effective way of moderating his attitude and behaviour when employed for the purposes of lingerie discipline, but there's also a second, more forceful way in which it can be used to such ends. Lingerie punishment involves having your husband wear such feminine attire in order to atone for letting you down, emphasising its uncomfortable aspects, both psychological and physical, to make wearing it serve as a penance for previous misdemeanours. In doing so, it discourages further occurrences of such behaviour, as well as providing an outlet for any guilt your husband may harbour, helping you both to feel that the score has been settled as far as you and your relationship are concerned.

Lingerie punishment is distinct from lingerie discipline in that the man subject to it must wear women's underwear as a consequence of having done his wife wrong, as opposed to it being simply a symbol of his submission to her. Wearing lingerie for the purposes of discipline is something that a man can do day in and day out without any discomfort beyond an acute awareness of his intimate attire, whereas lingerie punishment is an intentionally unpleasant experience for the man subject to it - one deliberately designed to discourage him from doing anything that might warrant it again! Nevertheless, although your husband is unlikely to enjoy being punished at the time, he's sure to appreciate its results in the long run - like lingerie discipline, lingerie punishment can work wonders for his attitude in all aspects of life.

Despite this, many women initially feel rather uneasy about the prospect of punishing the man they love. It's perfectly natural to have misgivings about something that, on the face of it, feels as though it should have no place in a loving, caring relationship. Although talk of administering punishment may bring to mind the image of a cruel dominatrix inflicting pain and brutality upon her grovelling slave without any concern for his well-being, this is actually the antithesis of what lingerie punishment is about. It certainly doesn't involve wantonly humiliating or abusing your husband, something which could never be condoned in a loving relationship. Instead, lingerie punishment focuses on appropriate correction as and where necessary - just as one might chastise a badly behaved child or discipline a disobedient dog, but in a more mature, adult manner, retaining the distinctly feminine essence of lingerie.

Sadly, few subjects are as rife with confusion as that of men being punished by their wives, especially when such chastisement takes place in an erotic context. Many so called punishments are actually rather pleasurable affairs, with both the sexually submissive husband and his dominant wife delighting in playing such games together, perhaps roleplaying as mistress and slave. Like erotic feminization, such playful punishments allow those involved to explore other aspects of their personalities in a safe, loving environment. However much a spanking may hurt physically, there's nothing hateful about it - indeed, there would be something very wrong if that were its intent. You may already enjoy similar activities as part of your lovemaking, but equally they may not appeal to you or your husband - either way, lingerie punishment is different in that it isn't intended to be pleasurable for the recipient.

Sadly, the erotic aspects of submitting to punishment mean that if you happen to look online, you'll find all manner of tall tales featuring impossibly cruel punishments being meted out to men who seem only too happy to tell the world how harshly they're treated for even the most minor of infractions. It's best to take such stories with a healthy pinch of salt, not least because most of them are intended more as masturbatory material than instructional guides. A moment's critical analysis often reveals such accounts as the fantasies they really are, grounded more in the lascivious imaginations of their authors than any kind of reality. Even if there may be an element of truth to some of them, there's no reason why you have to emulate them - as with erotic feminization and lingerie discipline, lingerie punishment is about what works for you and your relationship - not anybody else's!

What's the purpose of punishment?

If you've never really considered punishing your husband before, you might naïvely imagine the purpose of doing so would be to hurt him in retaliation for hurting you. Wanting to make the offending party feel how you're feeling is an instinctive reaction to being injured or upset by them, sharing the pain so they know first-hand how hurt you are. Indeed, you would be far from alone if you occasionally gave your husband the cold shoulder, or worse, in reprisal for feeling slighted by him. However satisfying that may seem at the time, maybe serving to sooth an inflamed temper or bruised ego, focusing solely on such negative aspects of punishment can have a profoundly detrimental effect on your relationship. That's especially the case if your husband is left in the dark about what he has done wrong, not knowing how long you intend to keep punishing him for, nor what he needs to do in order to make things up to you. It's easy to ignore such issues if you act on instinct, but it's important to address them - not least to ensure that any punishment is effective!

Making your husband wear lingerie as a punishment is fortunately far more positive than simply taking out your anger on him in the heat of the moment, let alone allowing your resentment to smoulder beneath the surface, perhaps flaring occasionally but otherwise remaining icily cold. Having to wear an uncomfortable bra or corset as a means to atone for letting you down has a ritual value quite distinct from more spontaneous, knee-jerk reactions or ill defined grumpiness, making it clear to both parties exactly what's going on and why. The unpleasant tightness around his chest lets your husband know in no uncertain terms that he's being punished for the duration he remains so attired, whilst also unambiguously signifying that his punishment is over the moment he is allowed to change clothes. He knows when he has served his time as well as when he's still serving it without ever having to ask.

Submitting to such a punishment can be quite a cathartic experience for a man, allowing him to let go of feelings of shame and guilt associated with acting selfishly or otherwise disappointing you. Moreover, placing himself in the position of vulnerability and discomfort, both psychological and physical, that comes from wearing punishment lingerie is something that is sure to bring out the most submissive aspects of a man's personality. Coupled with the desire to avoid receiving similar chastisement again, this renders him far more open to guidance and instruction as to how he should act in future than merely nagging or scolding him about his behaviour. It's hard for your husband to ignore what you're saying when his lingerie is there to continually reinforce your message.

From his perspective, lingerie punishment allows your husband to make amends for doing you wrong in a manner that leaves no room for doubt when he's being punished and when he's been forgiven, providing sufficient motivation for him to do the right thing without being excessively cruel or harsh. For your part, it offers an ideal way to moderate his behaviour without undue effort, using the power of lingerie to ensure that he is educated as to the error of his ways whilst avoiding unnecessary discord. Moreover, unlike other forms of punishment, lingerie lingers - while the impact of a scolding or the pain of a spanking will soon fade, the effects of being made to wear lingerie last as long as he stays in it without you having to do anything more. Coupled with the ease with which a man can be made to wear women's underwear for significant lengths of time, this makes it far more likely that he'll pay attention to what you're trying to teach him rather than your words falling on deaf ears.

Lingerie punishment is particularly effective when the attitude that needs correcting relates to yourself or other women. If your husband demonstrates a casual disregard for the problems we face as a result of our gender, perhaps regarding women's bodies as merely there for his entertainment, the first-hand experience of such issues he gains from being made to wear lingerie is often all it takes to correct such sexist misapprehensions. A wandering eye with a tendency to ogle other women's chests is soon corrected after a man has had a bouncing bosom of his very own to burden him, whereas complaining about how long it takes you to get dressed will be a thing of the past once your husband has had to hurriedly get into an awkward basque with fiddly suspenders as you impatiently chide him for being so slow! A little understanding of how awkward and uncomfortable some lingerie can be goes a long way to appreciating why you might not want to wear such attire, however sexy, all the time, even for him, preferring more casual comfortable choices than tight thongs and push-up bras.

Keeping things separate

Because lingerie punishment when correctly employed isn't particularly pleasant for the man submitting to it, it's important to maintain a clear distinction between using women's underwear for chastisement and putting your husband in panties for other reasons. You certainly don't want him to regard wearing any kind of lingerie in a negative light, especially if you're already enjoying the benefits of dressing him up in the bedroom. As well as being counter-productive, it's not fair on your husband to be made to feel as though he's being punished whenever he dons such intimate attire, regardless of whether he's actually done anything wrong! Not only does that undermine the effectiveness of any genuine punishment, it also runs the risk of tainting the role of lingerie in other areas of your relationship too, whether for feminization or for discipline.

Conversely, you may find that your husband becomes aroused at the thought of being punished by you, or worse, finds the punishment itself sexually exciting, especially if he's already of a submissive disposition in the bedroom. While that may have the silver lining of giving you a fun new game to play together, pretending to punish him for being a very bad boy much to your mutual delight, it doesn't achieve the desired results as far as moderating his behaviour and attitude is concerned. You may need to experiment a little until you determine which aspects of being made to wear feminine attire your husband particularly dislikes. It's vital to ensure that having to wear lingerie as a punishment isn't something he looks forward to, and unfortunately the erotic connotations of women's underwear can act to its disadvantage here - he may think you're simply playing a sexy game when actually you're deadly serious.

It's consequently essential to spell out explicitly when your husband is being punished, when you're having him wear lingerie for discipline and when you're simply fooling around, especially to begin with - however obvious you may regard the difference as being. If your husband is already used to wearing a bra in the bedroom, let alone on a more regular basis under his shirt, it may seem a natural progression to use the same one as a punishment too, perhaps simply by adding a couple of heavy water balloons and making the straps and band a little too tight, but it's important to maintain suitable psychological separation between the two - ideally by using different garments for punishment to those used for play or discipline. A dedicated punishment bra that's a size too small but with much larger cups, perhaps in a very plain, practical style, would serve this purpose admirably, as well as being far more effective as a punishment. It can be kept separate from his more regular attire, and brought out only when he's done something to warrant wearing it.

Provided you keep such things in mind, however, lingerie punishment is easily introduced to your husband once he's used to wearing women's underwear for other reasons. Although it's possible to make him wear lingerie as a punishment without ever having done so for more pleasurable purposes in the bedroom, doing so requires rather greater care in order to avoid your husband associating any future erotic feminization or lingerie discipline, let alone women's underwear in general, with the more negative aspects of being punished. Nevertheless, some women reserve having their husband wear lingerie solely for punishment purposes, which can be just as effective as doing so alongside employing such intimate attire in other ways. As always, it's entirely up to you!

What makes good punishment lingerie?

For a punishment to be at all effective, it cannot be enjoyable - otherwise, it becomes counter-productive, actively encouraging whatever it is meant to deter. Consequently, the lingerie you use to punish your husband must be sufficiently awkward, uncomfortable or otherwise problematic for him to really wish that he didn't have to wear it. It's no good putting him in a bra and panties if that simply turns him on - when it comes to punishment, his lingerie must act as a deterrent against future misbehaviour, something that arousing him is unlikely to achieve. If you've already observed the powerful effect that dressing your man up can have on your lovemaking, you may wonder how similar garments could ever have the opposite effect, but fortunately that's very straightforward.

There are two principal ways to make wearing lingerie a punishment rather than a pleasure for your husband. Firstly, you can make him wear garments that are physically awkward and uncomfortable, whether immediately or gradually becoming so over time. The crushing embrace of a tight corset is likely to be unwelcome from the very moment he's laced into it, but even an ill-fitting underwired bra or a thong that's slightly too small is sure to grate after a while. Secondly, you can make his intimate attire more uncomfortable psychologically, whether by having him wear it in a context that he's not used to, or by making his regular attire more challenging. That may simply mean having him wear his frillies out and about if he's never done so before, or making them harder to keep hidden if he's used to wearing lingerie in public, requiring his constant attention if he's to avoid discovery. Around the house, his punishment lingerie can be openly displayed to emphasise the wearer's vulnerability and submission.

Of course, there's nothing to stop you combining both factors for double the effect - perhaps taking him into town whilst wearing a tight longline bra, for instance, as part of a punitive shopping expedition, where the physical and psychological discomfort of being out and about in such restrictive attire are sure to reinforce one another. Often such effects come together of their own accord, such that a particular garment proves awkward in more ways than one. The unmistakable bust line that results from being made to wear a heavily padded bra around the house soon becomes rather uncomfortable as it pulls down on the wearer's shoulders and back, but also brings with it the nagging fear that an unexpected visitor might see his unmistakably buxom bosom. A man made to wear such a bra for the day will soon learn his lesson, as well as gaining a deeper respect for women who are similarly well endowed and the problems they face.

In terms of using lingerie to punish your husband, therefore, you may wish to:

Sending warning signals

Such is the power of lingerie that you don't actually have to make your husband wear women's underwear for it to have the desired effect - simply the threat of having to don such feminine attire is often sufficient to keep him in line, especially if you spell out the resulting consequences for him. You don't even need to have done something before in order for the threat of it to work wonders - just the thought will be enough, provided whatever you're proposing remains reasonably credible. Obviously, whatever you threaten must be something you're capable of carrying out should your husband call your bluff - it's no good saying he'll have to go to work in a skirt and blouse, but "Keep that up, and you'll be keeping that bra of yours on when we go out tonight" may well work a treat, even for a man who's never worn a bra outside the house. Even when said in jest, there's always the possibility that you're not joking about such matters as far as your husband is concerned - the prospect of being punished in such a way is not one he'll want to take lightly.

Even if your husband is already wearing a full complement of lingerie, you can still threaten him with making things harder if he acts up. "Do you really want to have to change into your punishment bra?", you can ask rhetorically, fully aware of how much he hates the garment in question, "That's the way you're headed if you don't start shaping up!". Although it's better if you can enforce it there and then, any threatened punishment doesn't have to take place immediately if it's not particularly practical to have him to change into such attire straight away - if you're out and about, you can let him know he'll be paying for it later if his behaviour doesn't improve. "Shall I put you in your corset when we get home?" is almost as effective when it comes to focusing his mind as presenting him with it on the spot - either way, he'll be sure to regret disobeying you, no matter when the consequences of doing so occur.

Alternatively, if you're out in public, you can threaten to make his lingerie more obvious to those around him. It's easy to keep an errant husband in line when the only thing keeping his bra or camisole from showing through his shirt is the jacket he's wearing on top. "Aren't you a little hot in that jacket of yours?", you can ask with the unspoken implication that you'll take it off him if he keeps on playing up. His potential exposure doesn't have to be that great for it to act as motivation - although a painfully obvious black bra underneath a feminine blouse will guarantee your husband is putty in your hands, even the ambiguous bust line from an ever so slightly padded bra isn't something he'll want to share with the world. You don't even need to make him wear a bra for this, merely a T-shirt or top with an embarrassingly girly design.

Making the punishment fit the crime

As a general punishment, using lingerie works a treat. It doesn't matter whether your husband has returned home late after promising he'd be back on time, let his temper get the better of him or simply left the bathroom in an unfit state - spending some time wearing his punishment attire is sure to teach him the error of his ways! Nevertheless, there are certain occasions when using lingerie for correction is particularly appropriate, with the unique properties of women's underwear meaning that the punishment can be tailored to fit the crime. Although lingerie punishment is effective no matter what the offence, it really does come into its own for matters that offend the feminine, singularly fitting for lechery, chauvinism and other disrespect for women - not least yourself! You may therefore wish to make your husband wear lingerie in order:

Consent and choices

Just as erotic feminization and lingerie discipline require your husband's consent before he can be dressed in lingerie, so too does putting him in panties for the purposes of punishment. However strange the idea of consenting to a punishment may sound on the face of it, it's actually a vital part of proceedings. No matter how popular a theme it may be in some erotic fantasies, there's simply no way that a man can be forced to wear lingerie against his will - at least, not without resorting to an impractical degree of bondage, something that also requires consent in order to form part of a loving relationship. While you might "force" him to wear panties as part of a bedroom game if that's your kind of thing, a genuine punishment is quite different, requiring his willing acceptance just as much as anything else - even if that's more likely to be quiet acquiescence than full blown enthusiasm.

Nevertheless, when presented as a means of atonement for past misdemeanours, and with the consequences of complying versus not doing so spelled out, most men can be persuaded to go along with wearing punishment lingerie - perhaps somewhat reluctantly if they've never done so before, perhaps requiring some persuasion to overcome their doubts about it, but ultimately willing to submit nonetheless. Not doing so means disappointing the woman they love yet again, whereas wearing whatever's required of them by her, however uncomfortable or embarrassing, provides an opportunity to make things up, demonstrating that they're man enough to face up to the consequences of their actions rather than simply run away from them. Moreover, once your husband has submitted to lingerie punishment once, he'll know just what an effect it has when it comes to clearing the air between you, allowing him to make a fresh start unfettered by any grievances that might otherwise linger.

We've already touched on the subject of discouraging your husband from taking his lingerie off without your knowledge or permission with regards to lingerie discipline, but similar techniques can be just as useful in ensuring he serves out his lingerie punishment rather than being tempted to take the easy way out. Once your husband has promised to accept his punishment, you can make sure he stays the course by sewing or locking the garments in question closed, allowing him to go wherever he needs to in his punishment attire without you having any fear that he might be tempted to surreptitiously remove them. Even around the house, locking lingerie has a symbolic value that makes it well worth the trouble of adapting some of his underwear to allow it to be secured, sending a clear and unmistakable message regarding who's in charge.

An approach you may like to consider is offering your husband a choice of equally unpalatable punishments, perhaps allowing him to choose between two similarly tight bras, one black, one red - both as bad as the other as far as comfort and visibility are concerned, but left down to him to decide which one he must wear. Alternatively, you may wish to let him choose between genuinely different punishments - an hour in a tightly laced corset and heavily padded bra versus an entire weekend wearing a thong under his clothes, regardless of where that may be. Both allow ample opportunity for improvisation, as well as giving you insight as to the kinds of punishment he likes least - you can use this knowledge at a later date should he warrant being punished in earnest, choosing what you know he wouldn't to really drive the point home.

Presenting your husband with a choice in the matter, however nominal, is important psychologically, as it demonstrates his consent in a way far more explicit than simply allowing himself to be dressed by you. Involving him in the decision about how he should be punished allows him to feel that he has greater control over proceedings, even though you're primarily driving things, making his sense of atonement far greater as a result. Not only is he voluntarily submitting to wearing whatever uncomfortable or embarrassing attire is required for his punishment, he's actively involved in its selection - leaving him with far less room to grumble about it later. "Well, you should have picked the other one!", you can tease him unhelpfully if he does, but the chances are that he won't complain - precisely because he knows that it was his choice to make.

Of course, sometimes a choice is no choice at all. While notionally a man might be able to wear a bulging bra to work in place of an uncomfortably tight unpadded one, in practice there's no way he'll want to flaunt a feminine bust in front of his colleagues, making the tighter punishment bra a fait accompli. Similarly, if what you really want is to introduce your husband to doing chores around the house, you can offer him an early way out of his punishment attire if he goes along with cleaning the kitchen for you - letting him out once he's finished as opposed to having to spend the rest of the night in it. Although that may seem a little manipulative at first glance, in practice your husband will be left with the same sense of having paid off his guilt as a result of getting down to business with the pots and pans, not to mention the feeling of satisfaction that comes from having done a job well afterwards - meaning you both gain from the exercise!

After his punishment is over

Having served his time in whatever punishment attire you've deemed appropriate for him to wear, it would be easy for both you and your husband to regard the affair as over or that nothing more needs to be said. Nevertheless, it's just as important to talk with your husband after his punishment as it is to do so before and during, not only to reinforce the purpose of such chastisement, but to help him put his feelings about it into context. Although helping him out of his bra or unlacing his corset may make it perfectly clear that his punishment is over, it's worth explicitly letting him know that he's made up for whatever it was he did wrong, his transgression something that can now be left in the past where it belongs, as you both move on with your lives. Be sure to take the opportunity to let your husband know how much you love him, and moreover, that you appreciate the sacrifice he has made on your behalf, as well as discussing any issues that may have arisen during his time in punishment lingerie.

Returning to a theme from earlier in this chapter, it is this emphasis on communication throughout that ensures that lingerie punishment is a positive and effective experience for both you and your husband - in sharp contrast to other, more negative punishments that focus solely on being unpleasant without concern for the emotional effects on the man submitting to them. It is worth stressing again that lingerie punishment is not about sadistically humiliating or abusing your husband, but instead provides a means to both moderate his attitude and behaviour and to allow him to atone for letting you down, as part of a loving, caring relationship. When correctly employed, your husband may even thank you for allowing him to submit to such chastisement, however uncomfortable or embarrassing he may have found it at the time.

home lingerie discipline put him in panties Chapter 5: Lingerie Punishment