put him in panties

Chapter 4: Lingerie Discipline

Having your husband wear lingerie in the bedroom is a great way of livening up your love life, but when it comes to putting him in panties, you needn't stop there. Such is the power of women's underwear over a man that it will work its magic wherever and whenever he wears it - no matter whether that's in the intimacy of an erotic encounter or in the more mundane surroundings of his office. Depending on the context in which it is being worn, however, different aspects of such feminine attire come to the fore - in the bedroom, his lingerie is undoubtedly a sexual affair, serving to inflame his passions, but elsewhere its effects can be rather more chaste. The garments in question may be exactly the same - the difference depends solely on why a man is wearing them.

It's one thing for a man to wear a bra and panties whilst engaged in or anticipating intimate activity, but quite another for him to do so in its absence. In contrast to erotic feminization, lingerie discipline involves having your husband don such feminine attire for the more general effect it has on his attitude and behaviour beyond your lovemaking, encouraging a more submissive state of mind in situations quite removed from the bedroom. Although it's difficult to completely divest such garments of their erotic connotations, their sexual allure takes second stage when they're worn for the purposes of lingerie discipline - the focus is now on the sense of submission they engender in the male wearer.

Of course, erotic feminization and lingerie discipline need not be mutually exclusive, nor must a man necessarily wear the same range of clothing outside of the bedroom as he does in it. There's certainly no obligation for him to be fully dressed in all his feminine finery for lingerie discipline to work its magic on him - merely a pair of panties in place of his regular underwear is quite sufficient, although you can have him wear more if that works better for you. Nor need he wear them all the time, unless that's what you really want - many women find that even the occasional use of lingerie discipline is quite enough to keep their husband on his toes, let alone doing so more regularly.

A gradual progression

If you're already employing erotic feminization in your lovemaking, extending it to encompass lingerie discipline is a natural progression - so natural, in fact, that your husband may never notice the difference as he moves from wearing women's underwear exclusively in the bedroom to donning lingerie on other occasions too. As we saw in the last chapter, the obvious introduction to doing so is to suggest that he gets dressed up in advance of any nocturnal fun, presenting him with his feminine frillies beforehand in order to heighten his anticipation of the main event. It's easy to see how the length of time he must wear a bra and panties for prior to any action can be gradually increased over time, with a couple of hours watching a film or enjoying a meal together soon becoming an afternoon or even an entire day. The erotic connotations of the intervening time can correspondingly diminish until your husband is going about his everyday business wearing lingerie without any further encouragement from yourself - it's only his underwear that reminds him of its presence.

Alternatively, wearing lingerie for less intimate purposes can be presented as a dare, or as we shall see in the next chapter, a means of making things up to you after letting you down. So long as the idea of donning women's underwear isn't completely novel to him, such that any initial objections have been dealt with on an earlier occasion, it's surprisingly simple to persuade a man to wear such feminine attire, even when there's no promise of any reward afterwards. Once he's worn panties once, even in the bedroom, it becomes far easier to have him do so again in less erotic circumstances, let alone when he's grown used to wearing them as part of your sexual repertoire. That's why we recommend you start with erotic feminization even if your ultimate intention is to focus primarily on lingerie discipline, as doing so will gently ease your husband into the idea of wearing women's underwear for you, overcoming any reluctance far more easily than might otherwise be the case.

Without the attendant sense of sexual tension to encourage him, a man who has to wear panties or a bra outside of the intimacy of the bedroom is sure to be acutely aware of his unorthodox attire, thanks to the unique combination of physical and psychological sensations it engenders in him. This constant and unforgettable reminder of what he is wearing forms the foundation of lingerie discipline's power in so far as it affects a man's attitude and behaviour, but it can require a little getting used to on his part. To begin with, he may feel rather anxious or awkward about the prospect of wearing such feminine attire in the cold light of day, and men of a more nervous disposition may be genuinely scared by the thought of having to do so in the presence of other people. Immediately expecting your husband to wear panties, stockings and a bra to work is therefore unreasonable as well as impractical - as with other aspects of him wearing lingerie, it's far better to start small and develop things gradually, taking a longer term approach to achieve the results you desire.

It may sound a little strange to talk about building up a man's confidence when it comes to wearing women's underwear, given how lingerie discipline encourages the more submissive aspects of his personality, but it is necessary nonetheless. Although having to wear panties under his trousers or a bra beneath his shirt is sure to make him gentler and less aggressive, as well as kinder and more considerate of your needs, it's essential to keep him on side in order to fully appreciate such benefits. As such, you'll need to help him through any fears he may have, particularly those involving others discovering his intimate attire, gradually extending the limits of what he's comfortable with until he's where you want him to be - whether that's the occasional visit out all dolled up in his frillies, or wearing panties as his regular underwear.

The same goes for any concerns you may have - it's understandable to be worried about someone you love, especially when you're asking them to do something they wouldn't otherwise have done. It's certainly not unreasonable to share some of your husband's anxieties about being found out, particularly when considering having him wear lingerie outside the safety of your house for the very first time, a fear of the unknown that's perfectly natural. Any such qualms are sure to evaporate once you see for yourself how simple, safe and effective lingerie discipline can be. Nevertheless, just as your husband needs a little time to get used to the idea, you may find you also benefit from taking things slowly, going only as far as you feel comfortable rather than rushing in headlong.

To begin with, therefore, it's best to start off around the house, where however embarrassed your husband may be about having to wear lingerie in front of you, he's otherwise safe from prying eyes. Later, we'll see how wanting to avoid discovery can actually work to your advantage in such a situation, with obvious lingerie acting as a powerful incentive for your husband to stay in - he certainly won't want to be going anywhere else if his padded bra is painfully obvious under his top, let alone if the top in question is a pretty camisole. For boosting his confidence as a prelude to going out and about in women's underwear, however, less evident lingerie is far better - especially if you inform him just how hidden it really is. “You know I could never tell that you were wearing panties if I didn't already know, and as for that bra, it's only when I hug you that I can feel it's there. You could wear it out in the street and no-one would give you a second glance - not unless you went around hugging people, of course! Maybe I'll have you do that for me sometime”.

Once he's grown used to wearing lingerie around the house, you may wish to progress to have him wear it in public too. Obviously, when we talk about a man wearing lingerie in public, we don't mean that his underwear is visible for all to see - although the wearer may be out in public, what he's wearing underneath remains strictly private! Lingerie discipline certainly doesn't involve any kind of exhibitionism or public humiliation - it's about what your husband feels on the inside that counts. Even though he may be convinced that everyone around him knows exactly what he's got on under his trousers, the truth is that it's perfectly possible for a man to keep his lingerie safely hidden - unlike many of today's younger women, who see no shame in showing off visible panty lines, whale tails and bra straps with almost reckless abandon.

Naturally, wearing panties and a bra in public is a big step for any man, one which is best softened by starting out in a safe environment where it doesn't really matter if someone does see what he's wearing - however unlikely that may be. The anonymity of a large shopping mall is ideal for this, especially one in a neighbouring town where you're unlikely to bump into people you know. Ironically, confronting his anxieties about being caught out in feminine attire is a true challenge of a man's masculine courage, making returning from such a shopping trip a surprisingly liberating experience for him. In turn, going out closer to home or in the presence of more familiar people becomes a more viable proposition for him - one that he's less likely to reject out of hand, knowing that he's able to do it, however nervous it might make him feel. This gradual development can soon having him wearing lingerie in situations that would be quite unthinkable at the outset, simply by taking things slowly.

When can he wear lingerie?

So where else might you want to have your husband wear lingerie? The possibilities are practically endless, but the answer is perfectly simple - anywhere you would benefit from encouraging the kinder, gentler and more submissive aspects of his personality. In public, your husband can wear women's underwear whenever he's wearing enough other clothing to keep his intimate attire safely hidden, whereas in private, he can do so any time you like - as much or as little as you feel is appropriate. To begin with, you'll probably want to do so on an occasional basis, putting him in panties for particular circumstances or situations where he's sure to benefit from their unique power. For instance, why not consider having your husband wear women's underwear for:

Making it more regular

Over time, you may find that you prefer your husband when he's wearing lingerie for you, appreciating the subtle and yet profound changes such intimate attire brings to his attitude and behaviour. As we've already touched on, it's easy to extend your husband's lingerie discipline from being an occasional thing into a more regular affair, and the obvious place to start is by insisting that he dresses up for you each and every time a particular circumstance arises. If making him wear a bra encourages him to do the cleaning, for instance, you can set a time each week for him to do so, strapping him into one before setting him to work. Similarly, if wearing stockings and suspenders ensures that he's never late home from the office or the bar, such feminine underwear can easily become part of his expected attire for such occasions, donned as a matter of course and checked before he sets out.

Beyond that, lingerie can become a more integral part of his wardrobe. His boxer shorts and briefs can be augmented, if not replaced entirely, by panties and thongs, and his cotton socks can sit alongside nylon stockings, next to a selection of bras. Doing so is sure to bring about an attendant change in his attitude, helping your husband regard such garments as his, to be worn in their place just like anything other, rather than being something special reserved solely for frolicking in the bedroom. Each can be added to areas of his life in turn - you may wish to start off with him wearing panties just around the house, but progress to having him when you go out together, before having him wear them at all times, even to work. You might then add a bra or stockings to what he wears at home and follow a similar progression until he's permanently wearing them too, or simply reserve them for more intimate occasions. That's the beauty of lingerie discipline - you can take it as far as you want, but never need go any further. It's entirely up to you where you go with it. You might consider having your husband wear women's underwear whenever he's:

Of course, there's no need to take things any further than you feel comfortable with, let alone as far as we've been discussing unless that's really what you want. It can't be stressed enough that lingerie discipline should be about what works for you and your husband in your particular situation - the purpose of this book is to suggest possibilities rather than to prescribe a particular path that you have to follow. If you'd rather keep your husband's lingerie as more of an occasional affair, perhaps as a way of keeping him on his toes from time to time, that's perfectly fine too. He certainly doesn't have to wear it continually for your relationship to benefit immensely from the times he does.

Keeping his lingerie hidden

After getting past any initial inhibitions regarding donning women's underwear at all, by far the greatest worry that most men have about wearing lingerie in public is the possibility that others might discover their intimate attire. Even men who love fooling around with lingerie in the bedroom may feel a little uneasy about wearing it out and about, put off by the prospect of becoming a target of ridicule from passers-by, let alone a laughing stock among their friends and colleagues. Those who require some convincing to put on panties in an erotic context are likely to be even more reluctant to do so outside the safety of the home, for fear of the shame that they are sure will result. It's a doubt often shared by women thinking about employing lingerie discipline - after all, it's perfectly reasonable not to want to subject the man you love to public humiliation and embarrassment. Quite apart from any concern for him, there's what other people would think about you were they to find out you make your husband wear women's underwear. No matter how loving lingerie discipline actually is, it's hard to explain that to a hostile audience.

Fortunately, both you and your husband can rest assured that there's absolutely no reason for anyone to ever discover what he's wearing under his regular clothing. Provided you take a little care to ensure that he's properly dressed before he leaves the house, his intimate attire can remain his little secret until he returns home again, no matter how vulnerable or exposed it might make him feel. We'll be discussing the specifics of individual garments in later chapters, but as general rule of thumb, all it takes is choosing the correct combination of clothing. Wearing a hot pink thong with hipster jeans and a black bra under a thin white shirt is obviously asking for trouble, quite apart from any fashion faux pas, but add a thick, loose T-shirt and a more sensible choice of trousers to the mix and the same underwear is no problem at all - even before you start considering lingerie that's easier to hide.

You may find it helpful to take your husband out for a spot of people watching, going somewhere where there are large numbers of women passing by, such as a shopping mall, in order to observe them together. Some women, especially those of a younger generation, practically flaunt their underwear, whereas others will have gone to rather more trouble to make sure that their intimate attire remains off limits as far as the casual onlooker is concerned. Take a seat at an outdoor table or stand on a balcony and discreetly remark on what you see, educating your husband as to the various ways in which women's underwear can be revealed, whether intentionally or otherwise. If you're feeling mischievous, you can use this as an opportunity to tease him a little, asking him which styles he finds attractive or would like to emulate himself - something that works especially well if his gaze wanders by itself. “Are you staring at that girl's baby blue bra straps? Maybe I should get you some like that. You'd look ever so cute in baby blue, don't you think? I don't think you should flaunt them as much as she did, however, not out in public, anyway!”.

To begin with, you'll want to offer your husband regular reassurance that his lingerie remains safely hidden, making a point of inspecting it carefully from time to time and confirming that it's impossible to tell what he's wearing. “No-one would ever know you've got panties on”, you can tell him, “not even if they were looking for them”. Of course, it's unlikely that anyone would ever be looking for them - not unless they're already familiar with the idea of men wearing lingerie. Whilst the subtle bumps of a bra's strap adjusters might be recognised for what they are by fellow practitioners of lingerie discipline or crossdressers who are actively looking for such signs, most people are simply too wrapped up in their own business to even consider the possibility - even when such tell-tale signs are staring them in the face. Panty lines and bra strap bumps are simply not things one expects to see on a man, nor things one looks for, and consequently most people do not see them!

That's not to say that your husband has to display even such subtle signs of his lingerie, merely to say that the chances are that no-one will pick up on them even if he were to do so. With a little more care, you can easily ensure there's absolutely no trace of his intimate attire visible from the outside, such that even other lingerie clad men and their wives would find it impossible to count your husband among their number. Besides, how many times have you looked for the signs of lingerie on a man, let alone spotted anything that conclusively proves it? With the exception of overt crossdressers, who go out of their way to project a feminine appearance, it's unlikely that any man wearing women's underwear will want you to know about it - so much so that you've probably already walked past countless men wearing panties, stockings or bras without ever having any inkling about their intimate attire.

Reinforcing its meaning

A pair of panties, stockings or a bra all provide ample reminder of your husband's lingerie discipline by their mere presence, with the unusual tactile sensations from such underwear hard for a man to ignore for any length of time. Every movement he makes reminds him of what he's wearing, whether due to the tug of elastic straps or suspenders, the snug embrace of tight, restrictive material or simply the soft caress of satin and nylon against his skin. In turn, that brings to mind the reasons for wearing such feminine attire in the first place, reinforcing his lingerie discipline without you needing to ever lift a finger. That's the power of women's underwear - it influences its wearer without any further effort on your part, improving his attitude and behaviour all by itself.

That doesn't mean you can't remind him yourself about what he's wearing - far from it! Not only does drawing his attention to his lingerie emphasise its effects, it also allows you to guide them in the direction you want, stressing particular aspects of his discipline so as to achieve your desired outcome. If you're having him wear panties to encourage him to be more submissive and respectful of your wishes, combine the two together by telling him “You're wearing panties now, so you have to do what I say”. If he's wearing stockings to keep him from succumbing to temptation, stroke his legs while reminding him that no other woman would be interested in him if they knew about his hosiery, but that you're looking forward to taking advantage of it later that evening. “Your stockings are like a chastity belt”, you can suggest, “They keep you pure and faithful just for me, because I want my man all to myself. You're far too good to share, especially in those sexy stockings you wear for me”.

Should you make him wear a bra while doing the chores, you can point out the connection between the two. “Go and put on your cleaning bra, it's time for my maid to do the housework!”, you can tell him before he sets to work, then “That bra of yours really does the trick - you've done a really good job” afterwards. Similarly, if you want him to return from the office or the bar at a reasonable time, let him know that “The sooner you get home, the sooner I'll let you out of that and into something much more comfortable”, or “You'd better behave yourself if you don't want anyone finding out about your sexy undies. I don't want anyone but me having fun with you in them”. Alternatively, you can give him something to think about. “What would your secretary say if she knew what you're wearing for me? Do you think she'd be jealous of your pretty panties?”.

Such reinforcement need not be solely verbal. A gentle caress is all it takes to remind your husband of what he's wearing, whether your hand glances across his stocking clad thighs or rests momentarily on his bra straps. “Everything nice and snug in there?”, you can tease him as you briefly fondle his groin or buttocks, or you can be more explicit in your enquires. “How are your panties?”, you can ask - whether openly, or whispered in his ear whilst out in public. “I love how you blush when I ask you that, you're so endearing when you're shy!”. For a more forceful reminder, you can reach into his shirt and snap his bra straps, something that's sure to take him by surprise. More intimately, if you're snuggling together on a sofa, you can work your hand down his trousers and toy with the waistband of his panties or his suspender elastic, or up his shirt and play with the cups of his bra - something that works just as well for the purposes of lingerie discipline as it might for erotic feminization.

All things feminine

Wearing lingerie will not magically turn your husband into a woman even if you wanted it to, nor can it ever give him a complete understanding of what we have to face as a result of our gender. There's a whole host of uniquely feminine problems that are far too complex to be imparted merely by donning a bra and panties, not only those caused by physiological differences but also the expectations placed on us by modern society - the difficulty of having to juggle both a job and a household, to name but one. Nevertheless, lingerie discipline can offer your husband some insights into matters he might otherwise remain utterly unaware of, often in surprising ways. He may never look remotely like a woman, let alone think or feel like one, but that doesn't mean he can't develop a greater understanding of some of what it means to be female, however limited, to the benefit of your relationship.

In the next chapter we'll look at how making your husband wear a padded bra can give him a greater respect for women's breasts and the problems that come with a larger bust, perhaps as a punishment for indulging in pornography that features similarly well endowed ladies. Education in matters feminine need not be restricted to such chastisement, however - simply wearing stockings himself will give a man a deeper understanding about the care that women must show their clothes, as well as practical experience of what can snag nylons and how irritating that can be. The need to keep his bra hidden helps him to appreciate that women can't just throw anything on and hope to get away with it if they wish to look their best, even if his concern for how his clothes co-ordinate stem from completely different reasons. Moreover, having to deal with suspenders, especially when his panties are on the wrong side of them, gives a man some inkling as to why his wife takes longer than he does both getting ready and in the bathroom.

As your husband becomes more familiar with women's underwear, you'll find he unconsciously acquires a knowledge of its different styles and fashions, thanks to his first-hand experience of such feminine garments. Although he's unlikely to come to appreciate every trend in ladies clothing unless you choose to educate him further, even knowing the difference between a balconette bra and a push-up one or the different deniers of hosiery is more than most men can claim. You may find him more receptive to shopping for clothes together as a result or better able to give an honest opinion on how you look in a particular outfit. He'll also know why you don't want to wear sexy underwear all the time for him - something many men not blessed with such an intimate knowledge of lingerie have surprising difficulty appreciating.

Keeping it on

It's reasonably easy to convince a man of the benefits of wearing women's underwear in the bedroom, but you may be wondering how to persuade your husband to go along with lingerie discipline without having to resort to arousing him all the time. Moreover, although it's relatively straightforward to ensure that your husband is wearing his intimate attire while you're with him, the same sadly can't be said for when you're apart - the very time when the benefits of having him wear lingerie for you are at their greatest. The last thing you want is to send him out to work in his bra and panties, only for him to take them off the moment he's out of sight, yet for some men this can prove all too tempting. The fleeting benefit to be had from divesting himself of his lingerie can momentarily eclipse the far greater long term rewards of remaining in such intimate attire, however guilty he may feel afterwards about letting you down. How can you ensure your husband remains true to you in this respect?

Like erotic feminization, lingerie discipline is something that requires a man's consent in order to work. It is impossible, not to mention undesirable, to make a man wear something that, deep down, he doesn't want to. In order for such discipline to stand any chance of success, he must submit to it out of his own free will, however reluctant he may seem about acquiescing on the surface. Whether he is prepared to be put in panties depends solely on whether the advantages of doing so outweigh the disadvantages from his perspective - one that may differ radically from you own, as well as being shaped by immediate influences. It's vital to appreciate where he is coming from and to work with him to achieve the outcome you desire than simply trying to impose it on him.

Familiarity with wearing lingerie in a safe environment can help tip the balance in your favour, as can making the benefits of going along with your wishes more obvious - whether by actively rewarding him for his cooperation, or simply by spelling out the undoubted improvements you see in him as a result. Conversely, both unfounded fears and more justified concerns can act against you, as can a perceived lack of consequences from taking the easy way out - especially if he thinks he can simply get away with taking off his lingerie in your absence without you ever finding out. Quite apart from not wanting to face an angry wife, a loving husband won't want to let you down, but that may not stop him from thinking that what you don't know about won't hurt you - one of the very reasons he might benefit from lingerie discipline in the first place!

We've already looked at building up your husband's confidence with respect to wearing lingerie in public, as well as tackling any concerns he may have about doing so, but to begin with, it's also helpful to provide additional rewards on top of those inherent in his discipline. Simply expressing your appreciation of his efforts from time to time can go a long way in persuading him to do more of the same - it can be surprising just how much a regular drip feed of verbal encouragement can inspire a man. Significant milestones may warrant something rather more special, either promised in advance to act as an incentive to go the extra distance, or simply as a surprise. Of course, treating him may be something you were planning on doing anyway, but if your husband believes he has earned it as a result of wearing lingerie for you, that's all to the good.

It's also possible to make it far harder for your husband to get away with disobeying your wishes without facing up to the consequences of letting you down. Some garments are easily adapted to make them impossible to take off without leaving undeniable evidence of their removal - many bras and most foundation wear are particularly amenable to being made tamper evident in this way, as we'll see later. Although this won't stop a determined man from divesting himself of such garments, it acts as enough of a hurdle for the idly tempted husband, knowing that any attempt to do so will be impossible to deny. Similarly, he may be inclined to keep his panties on simply because he has nothing else to wear - and if he's already wearing one item of feminine lingerie, what difference does another make?

Moreover, like any other clothing, lingerie is affected by being worn for any length of time - it absorbs odours and oils from skin, such that a pair of panties that have remained on all day will be distinctly different to those that have spent the majority of the time in a drawer and put on just before returning home. Elasticated garments, not to mention those with underwires or boning, will also leave quite distinct marks on the skin, lingering for a while but also taking some time to form - a clear indication of whether they've just been donned or not. Should you be in any doubt as to whether your husband has remained faithful with respect to his lingerie, you can simply look him in the eye and ask him to be honest with you - assuming he's appropriately attired when you enquire, he'll find it far harder to lie to your face thanks to what he's wearing, especially if he's naked apart from his underwear and you're not.

It's important for your husband to understand that there are consequences to not keeping his word, let alone attempting to be deceitful about it. Should you discover that he has deliberately defied your wishes despite his assurances to the contrary, you may wish to punish him in kind, and lingerie provides ample opportunities for doing so, as we shall see in the next chapter. Although the desire to avoid punishment is sure to motivate a man, it's best to reserve such sanctions for those occasions on which he has intentionally decided to let you down, preferring more positive reinforcement wherever possible so as not to leave your husband with the impression that lingerie discipline is a punishment in itself. After all, a woman who wears lingerie on a daily basis is not being punished for anything (however much we might think otherwise sometimes!), and the same is true for a man who submits to lingerie discipline - no matter how much the benefits he derives from such clothing may differ to those of a woman, it should still be a fundamentally positive and enriching experience for him.