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perfect English, Peaches!

Lessons 11 to 15

perfect English, Peaches! is a grammar course written specifically for the submissive crossdresser. The aim of this textbook for sissies is to give the student a greater understanding of the words he uses, thus helping him to avoid the mistakes that so often mar even the simplest pieces of writing. Employing exaggerated examples that are sure to appeal to any man with a weakness for women's things, the course not only encourages higher standards of language, but also emphasises respect for female authority throughout. The intentionally titillating scenarios do not detract from the text's purpose, however, with the misadventures of a submissive male secretary making the material more memorable.

perfect English, Peaches! features themes of lingerie discipline, male chastity and men as secretaries and maids. It should go without saying that, like everything else at brassièred, it is intended for adults only.

Lesson 11: To work for a woman

Despite the frequent discipline and the even more frequent difficulties caused by his clothes, there are many things that Peaches likes about working as a sissy secretary. Few other positions can provide the satisfaction that comes from pleasing a female superior, even if Ms Crusher rarely rewards her personal assistant with more than a dismissive remark for his tireless efforts on her behalf. Without employing additional grammar, however, Peaches would struggle to express the appeal of his work were his boss to suddenly ask him to explain:

Whether for the object of a verb or following a preposition, Peaches needs nouns, yet many of things he really enjoys are actions, and so require verbs. We've seen how participles, both present and past, can turn a verb into an adjective, but they won't help him here. Instead, a gerund is called for, a word which takes the same form as a present participle by ending in “ing”, but which allows a verb to be used as a noun. Consider the following confessions:

Hearing him say that, you might think that Peaches spends his time doing nothing else - and indeed, there are days when he never leaves his desk, having to ignore his increasingly disagreeable girdle as he enters pages and pages of words using his keyboard. From a grammatical perspective, however, such mindless work illustrates how a gerund can take the place of a noun as either the subject or object of a sentence, or following a preposition. Gerunds can also take adjectives or nouns of their own, as these examples illustrate:

Of course, it isn't just typing that can be turned into a gerund, as much as Peaches' remarks might suggest otherwise. Having provided her secretary with an opportunity to offer his input into proceedings, Ms Crusher continues with his employment review, albeit adopting a more physical approach:

Gerunds aren't the only way to use a verb as a noun, however. Another approach that Peaches might adopt, once he's recovered his composure, is to employ an infinitive - the base form of the verb, preceded with “to”. Consider and compare the following assertions of the sissy and what his boss might write:

As well as nouns, infinitives can also take the place of adjectives, or even adverbs:

Each of these examples uses a full infinitive, with its preceding “to” not to be confused with a preposition. When additional words are inserted between the two (for example, “he tried to tightly lace his corset”), a split infinitive is formed, something which is frowned upon in more formal English. In contrast, a bare infinitive uses only the base form of the verb:

Both gerunds and infinitives may be used as the subject of a sentence, but only gerunds can follow prepositions. Otherwise, whether to use a gerund or an infinitive depends on the main verb of the sentence, with some taking only a gerund, some accepting only an infinitive, and others capable of being followed by either. Study how both sorts of words are used in the following examples:

Did you see how some of those had pronouns before them? Where a gerund or an infinitive follows the object of a verb or preposition, it indicates that that object will be performing the action it expresses, something which we can put to good use when describing how Peaches accepts corsets as condition of work:

Bare infinitives are also used with modal verbs, which are auxiliary verbs that express possibilities, capabilities and necessities, among other concepts. Let's illustrate some of these as we continue the story of Peaches' corsets:

Gerunds, infinitives and participles are all non-finite verbs, meaning that they give no indication of person, number or tense. Unlike the finite verbs found in tenses, they cannot act as the main verb in a sentence, any more than the nouns or adjectives they stand in for can. Infinitives can, however, have a continuous or perfect aspect, or even both. To get her secretary used to his new foundation garments, Ms Crusher might have Peaches type the following lines a hundred, if not a thousand times:

By combining the twelve tenses we've previously covered with modal verbs, gerunds and infinitives, we can describe almost everything that could happen in Ms Crusher's office. When considering the following sentences, study how the individual parts work together to express a particular idea - just like the stiffly boned panels and criss-crossing laces conspire to shape a corseted sissy's body:

Exercises

1. Read the following account of a sissy going for a corset fitting. Copy out each sentence, underlining all the non-finite verbs. For each one, write its base form in brackets afterwards, and state whether it is a gerund or an infinitive. For the latter, also state whether it is full or bare, and note if it is split.

   Peaches summoned the courage to ask a shop assistant if she could help him.

   “I hate to be a bother, but I would like to buy a corset”, he apologised.

   “My boss says it might encourage me to work harder”, the sissy explained.

   Anticipating a big sale, the shop assistant was surprisingly eager to help.

   “You should want to look your best as part of being a secretary”, she said.

   Peaches tried to find out whether he would need to undress for measuring.

   “I would prefer to avoid causing any embarrassment”, he confessed sheepishly.

   The saleswoman told him she would like to ask a colleague to assist her.

   “Fitting a corset requires two of us to really lace it tightly”, she said.

   She promised they could fit his corset without humiliating him too much.

2. Copy out the previous sentences again, underlining all the modal verbs. For each one, write the sentence again without the modal verb, putting the main verb in the simple present, and correcting its conjugation as necessary.

Exercises for extra credit

1. In your own words, explain the following terms:

   infinitive

   non-finite verb

   full infinitive

   modal verb

   split infinitive

   gerund

   bare infinitive

   finite verb

2. Using your list of verbs that relate to sissies, write sentences that use these verbs in either their gerund or infinitive form, expressing your hopes, desires, obligations and possibilities as a submissive man.

3. Write an essay about corsets for sissies, employing plenty of non-finite and modal verbs.

Lesson 12: He was laughed at

Filing cabinets aren't just there for a submissive secretary to bend over, as embarrassing as it is for Peaches to show his stocking tops whenever his boss wants something from the bottom drawer. Nor is their purpose solely for making where the sissy works more cramped, no matter how much the surrounding furniture might inconvenience him when he tries to leave his desk. If Peaches doesn't want to be punished, he knows he needs to be able to find whatever paperwork Ms Crusher demands, a responsibility that might be described from two perspectives:

There's nothing out of the ordinary about the first sentence, with the picture it paints being perfectly in keeping with a female-led office - after all, a woman shouldn't have to worry about such mundane matters when there's a man on hand to take care of them! When we consider the second sentence, however, we can see that there's a difference in emphasis. The sissy scurrying to satisfy his boss is no longer in the spotlight of being the subject, instead demoted to following a preposition, as befits his subordinate position. Indeed, we could omit any mention of Peaches and still have a sentence that makes sense, as Ms Crusher might when seeking to secure a commitment from an important visitor:

Here, it is the contract that is important, with Peaches only getting in the way. He might have spent hours putting the paperwork together, having had to coax the printer into producing multiple copies of everything required, but the two businesswomen don't care about that. Any secretary could do such work, as Peaches would soon discover should he disappoint his boss, so it's better to put the emphasis where it belongs by using what called the passive voice.

The passive voice uses whatever is being affected by the verb (in the above example, the contract) as the subject of the sentence, in contrast to the active voice, where it is the person or thing performing the action (Peaches, the submissive sissy secretary). The passive voice is constructed using the past participle (prepared), preceded by a form of the verb “be” - in this case, the present perfect, “has been”. The passive voice is not a tense, however, as we can see if we consider all the ways Ms Crusher might have her secretary describe the regular discipline he receives for disappointing her:

It's a wonder that Peaches gets any work done, considering how often the office is a scene for both scheduled and unscheduled discipline, but the passive voice doesn't stop there - it can be used with infinitives, both full and bare, as shown in the following:

In all these cases, the penitent secretary could add “by my boss” to the end of the passive statement, or leave that for the listener to assume - after all, anyone seeing him and Ms Crusher will be in little doubt about which of them does the punishing! The verb “punish” can be put in the passive voice because it is transitive, and so has an object that can become the subject (Peaches, here referring to himself using the first-person singular), which isn't the case with an intransitive verb such as “laugh”. However, it's possible to promote an object that follows a preposition, so while we can't make “the women laughed” passive, we can if we direct their derision at the sissy:

An alternative way of looking at this is to consider “laugh at” as a transitive verb consisting of two words, in this case taking Peaches as its object. The combination is known as a phrasal verb, with the second word being a particle - either a preposition, or a special sort of adverb that behaves similarly to a preposition except for not taking an object. It's easy to find examples, as we can see if we look at how Peaches earns another punishment:

Some phrasal verbs have not one, but two particles:

The addition of another word affects the meaning of the verb to a greater or lesser degree, as we can see by considering the difference between “answer” and “answer back” - the former being something that a sissy secretary should always do honestly when his superior asks him a question, the latter to be avoided at all costs if he's not to suffer the consequences! Peaches might mull on whether he will be let out of the stationery cupboard or let into the office, but his boss will neither let him off his punishment nor let up her discipline regime - indeed, Ms Crusher might let the office girls in on how she's going to let herself go with the paddle the next time he dares let her down, perhaps for no other reason than to illustrate how the choice of particles matters.

Phrasal verbs can be employed in the same range of tenses as regular verbs, as well as being used as gerunds or infinitives. With some, such as “bend over”, the parts must be kept together - these are known as inseparable. Others permit or, in some cases, require, the object to come between them. From a grammatical perspective, Peaches might just as easily make up an excuse as he might make an excuse up, unless he substitutes that excuse with a pronoun, whereupon only the former form is possible - similarly, he should eschew the latter if his excuses are particularly long. However, his options are more limited when it comes to answering his boss back, something he needs to be very careful about when Ms Crusher has so many ways to remind him of her authority. Consider how “make up” and “answer back” are both separable, yet how the latter's parts remain together when she sharply snaps “Don't answer back!”.

Phrasal verbs can be transitive (“he tried on the corset”) or intransitive (“he sat down”). Some can be either, depending on context - consider the difference between “she dressed up her husband in women's clothes” and “her husband dressed up in women's clothes”. Those that are transitive can be put in the passive voice, just like regular verbs, with the parts remaining together because there is no object:

That Peaches employs the passive voice in his nervous contemplation speaks volumes about the helplessness he feels as he is escorted to the fitting room, but even a submissive sissy should be careful about when he uses it. Although the passive voice is perfect for announcing that a task has been completed without drawing unnecessary attention to the person completing it (“the minutes have been typed”), there are times when it sounds evasive (“the coffee cup was dropped”). When a secretary or maid makes a mistake, he should have the balls to take responsibility for it, even if those balls languish inside a chastity belt, panties or girdle. “I dropped the coffee cup, Ms Crusher”, Peaches might say, albeit adopting the active voice only temporarily before falling back into a voice more appropriate for his position. “How will I be punished?”.

Exercises

1. Read the following account of a male secretary being humiliated in a meeting. Copy out each sentence, underlining all the phrasal verbs, but not any nouns that they apply to. After the final part of each verb, write its base form in brackets, and note if it can be used separably.

   The minutes hadn't been printed off, because the photocopier had broken down.

   In the meeting room, all the cups of coffee had been knocked over.

   Peaches was left to sort everything out, because no-one came forward to help.

   The important visitors were told to hold on while the mess was tidied up.

   When his rudeness was pointed out to his boss, Peaches had been yelled at.

   The other secretaries laughed at the sissy as he was told off by Ms Crusher.

   The sissy's skirt was pulled down as she showed him up in front of everyone.

   “Your clothes will be taken away until you shape up”, his superior scolded.

   Knowing that his bra couldn't be hidden, Peaches gave up his blouse too.

   An official form would have to be filled in, and the incident written up.

2. Copy out the previous sentences again, underlining the parts that employ the passive voice. Then, copy out the sentences a further time, rewriting them in the active voice. Where additional nouns are required, use the other sentences as a guide, or use “someone” where the cause of the action is unclear.

Exercises for extra credit

1. In your own words, explain the following terms:

   phrasal verb

   passive voice

   separable phrasal verb

   particle

   inseparable phrasal verb

   active voice

2. List as many phrasal verbs as you can think of that relate to submissive men. Employ each in two sentences, using the active and passive voices respectively.

3. Write a short story about a male maid failing in his duties and subsequently receiving discipline. Employ the active and passive voices to emphasise the contrasting positions of the characters, and use phrasal verbs where possible.

Lesson 13: Sissies shouldn't misbehave

When thinking about what it means for a man to work as a woman's secretary, it's natural to consider all the things he must do for his female superior - from taking and typing up the minutes to fetching and photocopying files, all while making sure his appearance remains absolutely perfect. When he's so busy rushing around on his boss's behalf that he barely has time to breathe, Peaches might forget what else defines his role as Ms Crusher's personal assistant, but the things he doesn't do are no less important. He doesn't make any important decisions, he doesn't get to choose his work, and he never, ever, ever tries to go behind her back - at least, not unless he wants to be punished for it! To declare what he doesn't do, whether as part of his employment review, or simply in a desperate attempt to avoid being spanked, he needs to use a negative:

Of course, the more Peaches protests his innocence, the more Ms Crusher hears the opposite. By comparing the two, we can see how the negative is formed by adding the adverb “not”. If the sentence has one or more auxiliary verbs, this goes after first. Otherwise, with the exception of the verb “be” (which is so often irregular), an additional auxiliary “do” is added to either the past or the present tense, with the main verb being used in the infinitive. The inevitable conclusion of this scene, “she punished him”, would therefore become “she did not punish him”, save that Peaches cannot avoid the consequences of his crime. If only he'd accepted his corset needed to stay as tight as it was!

Negating verbs with “not” isn't the only way that a sissy secretary can claim he didn't do something, however. Some verbs can take a prefix such as “un-” to invert their meaning, even when employed as participles, as can some adjectives and adverbs. When preceding a verb, the adverb “never” rules out the corresponding action, whereas the adjective “no” may be used before a noun to indicate its absence. These little words that have immense power even by themselves, as Peaches is only too aware of when he asks his boss for permission to take a break. Ms Crusher needn't say anything more for her submissive personal assistant to have to stay at his desk, but she might nevertheless assert her authority by saying:

Although Ms Crusher often uses more than one negative word in her put-downs, she employs them carefully, making sure there's no ambiguity about how she's belittling her secretary. Unfortunately, it's easy to fall foul of using too many negatives, making a sentence harder to understand, if not giving it an entirely opposite meaning. Consider how Peaches might plead with his boss:

Strictly speaking, Peaches' statement is perfectly true, because “never” and “no” cancel out - he is so distracted by everything he wears that even the shortest piece of typing contains at least one error. Even if we overlook his vulgar insolence, which is a far cry from the respectful professionalism expected of a secretary, it is likely that he is trying to say the opposite. Using two negatives where only one is needed is known as a double negative, with the extra word being counter-productive - quite about from the futility of trying to persuade Ms Crusher that the minutes have no mistakes when she's red-penned every page! Suppose the sissy secretary realises the foolishness of such an approach, and instead turns his efforts to avoiding a spanking:

Here, there's nothing grammatically wrong with what Peaches says, but his timidity is all too clear - he can't even bring himself to agree with his boss directly, let alone explicitly plead for a lighter punishment, instead hoping that Ms Crusher might read his mind. If only she would set him some punitive typing, or perhaps tell him that he'll be staying late to rearrange the stationery cupboard again - but alas, she already has the paddle in her hand, and refuses to take no for an answer as she tells him to drop his skirt!

While Peaches has very little say about how long his punishment lasts, he can nevertheless save his boss a little time by using contractions. Although it is pleasingly formal to spell out negatives fully, many constructions using “not” may be shortened by means of an apostrophe, turning two words into one:

It's not just negatives that can be shortened like this - many other words can be too, albeit at the cost of formality. It's likely that you use contractions without really thinking about it when speaking, although woe betide a secretary too lazy to type the full forms in a report! Peaches is on dangerous ground using them with his boss, but Ms Crusher has much graver concerns about him:

In casual speech, it's natural to elide words together, with the apostrophe standing in for a dropped syllable - so natural, in fact, that some ignoramuses mistakenly think that “could've”, “would've” and “should've” stand for “could of”, “would of” and “should of” respectively, when anyone with the slightest understanding of grammar would know that “of” can never act as an auxiliary. Before he started working for Ms Crusher, Peaches could have made such mistakes, but he would have soon learned better, coming to realise what he should have written when his boss made him type it again and again and again.

Other contractions that sometimes cause pause for thought are “it's”, “they're” and “you're” which can be confused with the possessive adjectives “its”, “their” and “your”. As you'll recall from a previous lesson, only possessives formed from nouns have apostrophes, but those apostrophes serve a different purpose to the ones used here. By expanding the words, as though writing formally, it's easy to see which is correct:

In each of the above examples, the sentence still makes sense when the apostrophe is replaced by a space and a letter, showing that “it's”, “they're” and “you're” are contractions. That's not possible with the similarly sounding possessive adjectives, which can instead be swapped with the definite article:

If you attempt the reverse, you'll end up with nonsense (“you are bra shows through that blouse”) or an incomplete fragment (“the time for your formal review”). That might be the sort of thing Peaches stammers when standing in front of the appraisal panel, reduced to incoherency by the imposing women from Human Resources, but it won't do his chances of avoiding demotion any favours!

Exercises

1. Read the following account of a male maid showing his submission to his mistress's friends. Copy out each sentence, underlining all the negatives. Include negatives that are part of contractions, and also those that are formed by prefixing verbs. For the latter, only underline the prefix.

   “He's not only wearing panties. That just wouldn't do!”, the woman declares.

   “You're going to show my friends, or I'll never unlock it!”, she threatens.

   He knows there'll be trouble if he doesn't obey, because she's unforgiving.

   “I'm wearing a chastity belt, because maids mustn't misbehave”, he confesses.

   He knows he shouldn't move, but he can't stop trembling as he lifts his skirt.

   “It's uncomfortable, but I can't remove it. I don't have the key!”, he pleads.

   The women aren't listening to him, because they're staring at his crotch.

   “He'll not be doing anything he shouldn't!”, one of them remarks unkindly.

   “I wasn't expecting to see that! Who'd have thought?”, another exclaims.

   “You've not fixed your garters properly. One's come unfastened!”, she scolds.

2. Copy out the previous sentences again, but this time, underline all the contractions. For each one, write its expanded form in brackets afterwards. Then write the sentence out again, expanding all the contractions.

Exercises for extra credit

1. In your own words, explain the following terms:

   negative

   double negative

   contraction

2. List as many contractions as you can think of, using each one in a sentence. Write the expanded form of each contraction in brackets after you use it.

3. Write an essay discussing what submissive men cannot, should not or must not do in a female-led relationship. Use contractions where possible.

Lesson 14: After he was caught

When introducing nouns and verbs, we saw how a sentence can be constructed by combining them, with details added by means of adjectives and adverbs. By following this pattern, we can, for instance, describe the rules of a female-led office. The simplicity of saying “sissy secretaries wear sheer blouses” does not detract from the emasculation that Peaches feels as he displays the lacy black cups that Ms Crusher likes to see through the thin fabric, but we don't have to consider sentences as simply a series of individual words. Instead, we can split them into phrases, collections of words that work together.

For example, “sissy secretaries” and “sheer blouses” are examples of noun phrases, because both could be replaced by a noun. The sentence would still make sense if we used “secretaries” and “blouses” respectively, just as it would if we were to use “submissive bra-wearing sissies who need reminding of their place” and “extremely sheer blouses bought from the special secretarial outfitters at great expense”, as much of a mouthful as the latter might be. Similarly, the verb “wear” serves as a very simple verb phrase (not to be confused with a phrasal verb), with the sentence capable of accepting additional auxiliaries and adverbs - “should always wear”, for instance. Although you might need to work harder to understand it, you should still be able to see how “submissive bra-wearing sissies who need reminding of their place should always wear extremely sheer blouses bought from the special secretarial outfitters at great expense” is fundamentally the same as “sissies wear blouses” in terms of its constituent phrases, even though one is infinitely easier for a sissy secretary to type.

Along similar lines, there are corresponding phrases for all the other parts of speech we have considered, which can also be as short or as long as necessary. Consider how each of the following pairs serves the same grammatical purpose:

As well as seeing how those phrases could fit together to form sentences, note how many of them are in turn built from smaller phrases - for example, the infinitive phrase “to satisfy his very fussy boss” contains a noun phrase, “his very fussy boss”, which in turn contains an adjective phrase, “very fussy”. None of the phrases can stand alone as sentences, however, with the bare minimum needed for a complete sentence being a noun and a verb phrase - the subject and action we considered in an earlier lesson. That could be as simple as “Peaches obeys” or as complicated as “A submissive sissy secretary such as Peaches must always obey immediately”, the latter still only a subject and an action even though both can be broken down into further parts.

A group of phrases that contains a subject and a verb that acts upon it is known as a clause. As the previous example shows, some clauses can form complete sentences, but that isn't always the case - consider “because he will be punished otherwise”, which requires something before it if Peaches is to stand any chance of avoiding his boss's paddle. A clause that can serve as a sentence by itself is said to be independent, whereas one that cannot is dependent. As well as consisting of a number of phrases, therefore, a sentence is thus one or more clauses, at least one of which is independent.

Consider the following clauses with a view to making sentences from them:

The first two clauses are independent, describing events in themselves - more than enough to make Peaches feel uncomfortable should he overhear the other secretaries sharing such juicy titbits. The second two are dependent, and so require more to paint a complete picture. How unsatisfying it would be for the sissy's colleagues to have to cut short their gossip without fully explaining the frustrating metal beneath his skirt! By combining a dependent clause with an independent one, in any order, they've got grist for the rumour mill:

Or, alternatively:

The two independent clauses can also be combined, using a conjunction:

We have looked at conjunctions in a previous lesson, seeing how they can be used to connect two similar parts of speech - a sissy's bra and panties, for example, their black and lacy fabric, or perhaps the way they make other people look and laugh. Whether combining nouns, adjectives or verbs, such conjunctions are said to be coordinating. The conjunction used above is no different in this respect, linking two clauses together to form a longer sentence, but it only works because both clauses are independent. Study the following examples, and consider how they can be split into clauses that can serve as sentences:

There are only a handful of coordinating conjunctions - “for”, “and”, “nor”, “but”, “or”, “yet” and “so”, the initial letters of which spell out the word “fanboys”. These cannot be used to join a dependent and an independent clause, however, any more than it would make sense to try to combine “bra”, “black” and “look” with one - as entertaining as it would be to consider a sentence with all those words, another grammatical construction is required! In the case of different kinds of clauses, a subordinating conjunction is called for, and it's no coincidence that the dependent clauses we've seen so far have started with these - indeed, rather fittingly when speaking about a man who works as a personal assistant, such clauses are also known as subordinate clauses. They add information to the main clause, like a secretary who assists his boss by having figures to hand, but can no more act by themselves than the man in a skirt and blouse could seal a deal in the absence of his superior.

As well as serving to stress the importance of the main, independent clause, a subordinating conjunction expresses the relationship between it and the dependent clause, often indicating cause and effect or a change of time or place. In the statement about Peaches' wearing of the chastity belt and his boss's keeping of the key, the two independent clauses are grammatically equal, however one-sided the resulting arrangement may feel to the sexually frustrated secretary. In contrast, the dependent clauses that explain why the sissy must wear steel panties are only meaningful in context, with Peaches perhaps not caring about the reasons that led him to be belted as he futilely tugs at the metal. Let's rewrite our previous examples using subordinating conjunctions:

Do you see how the subordinating conjunctions come before causes, as opposed to effects? Consider the transition between ideas as we explore the sissy's plight:

A sentence that consists only of a single (independent) clause is said to be simple, whereas one that combines a single independent clause with one or more dependent clauses (like the previous examples) is called complex. A compound sentence has two or more independent clauses without any dependent clauses, while a compound-complex sentence has two or more independent clauses and at least one dependent clause, as illustrated in the following examples:

Exercises

1. Read the following explanation of the benefits of brassière discipline. Copy out each sentence, underlining all the conjunctions. For each conjunction, state in brackets afterwards whether it is coordinating or subordinating.

   Some men like to salaciously look at women with large breasts, although they really should know better.

   Such behaviour is exceedingly rude and disrespectful, so it needs to be nipped in the bud before it gets worse.

   Women do not have breasts for men to ogle, and they do not wear bras for the benefit of the opposite sex.

   A man with a wandering eye should wear a heavily padded bra until he appreciates the problems of having large breasts.

   Although it may be challenging for him, he will surely benefit from a greater understanding of the female perspective.

   Whenever a man wears a bra, he is likely to feel very ashamed and embarrassed, because only women and sissies wear bras.

   Everyone will stare at his bulging bust, and some people may laugh or call him names, but that is only fair.

   He will want to take the bra off, but it is important that he does not, until he accepts having to wear it.

   After he has worn a bra for several hours, he may have red marks on his body, and he will certainly think differently.

   Wearing a bra for a day should cure him of his nasty habit, but if it does not, the procedure may be repeated as necessary.

2. Split each of the previous sentences into its constituent clauses, omitting the conjunctions that join them. Write each on a separate line, stating whether it is independent or dependent in brackets afterwards. Then copy out the entire sentence on a further line, indicating whether it is simple, complex, compound or compound-complex. Explain your reasoning.

Exercises for extra credit

1. In your own words, explain the following terms:

   simple sentence

   subordinate clause

   coordinating conjunction

   prepositional phrase

   compound sentence

   independent clause

   subordinating conjunction

   complex sentence

   participial phrase

   dependent clause

   compound-complex sentence

2. Starting with a noun and a verb relating to sissies, construct a series of ever-lengthening sentences by adding different sorts of phrases. Underline the new phrase each time, and indicate its type (e.g. noun phrase) in brackets.

3. Write an essay on why submissive men should be brassièred. Use coordinating and subordinating conjunctions to join independent and dependent clauses, forming sentences of the various types discussed in this lesson.

Lesson 15: The heels which he wore

Suppose Ms Crusher has had Peaches make the coffee for an important meeting. Standing submissively behind his boss as the women discuss business, the sissy secretary might anxiously look around the boardroom table, hoping that all of the visitors are satisfied with his service. In the unlikely event that one of them asks about his thoughts, he might describe the situation in two sentences:

Rather than wasting his superiors' time with unnecessary words, it would be better if Peaches could combine the salient points into a single sentence, because important women don't want to hear a man prattling on about nothing of any importance. Recalling how to combine sentences with conjugations, and employing a pronoun, Peaches might stammer something like:

Whether he'll suffer sharp words or mocking laughter depends on the mood of whoever might be putting him on the spot, but it's unlikely that this sentence will be any more pleasing to the women's ears - after all, it sounds rather strange! A more natural way of speaking would be to turn the second sentence into an adjectival phrase using a relative clause:

Now everything is the way it should be - the women come first and the sissy last, with the coffee that Peaches went to such effort to make only warranting a single mention in between. Here, the relative clause is introduced by a relative pronoun, “that”, but this role can also be served by a relative adverb, with the correct choice of words depending on the rest of the sentence. Many of these begin with “w”, as we can see if we return to the meeting:

Did you understand why each was chosen? The cup that caused Peaches to have to drop his skirt in front of all the women is a thing, not a person, and so requires “which”. The secretary making such a careless mistake is the subject of the clause, as well as his boss's wrath, calling for “who”, whereas the businesswoman who expects an unbroken cup is the object, and thus needs “whom” instead. In the case of the woman finding the dead fly, however, “whose” is used to indicate possession of the undrinkable coffee, no matter how keen she might be for someone to take it away. It should be obvious why reasons, times and places use the relative adverbs “why”, “where” and “when” respectively, with Peaches unable to forget any of them when the women finally finish with him.

A defining relative clause provides information that is necessary to identify a noun, as opposed to a non-defining clause, which merely adds extra detail. The distinction may be illustrated with the following examples:

In the first sentence, the relative clause is defining, because it tells us which secretary is being spoken about - the one scurrying around the boardroom table with a tray of clattering china, surely wishing that his responsibilities stopped at escorting his boss's visitors from reception. Conversely, the clause in the second sentence is non-defining, and so is separated by commas to show that it could be omitted. There's no doubt who is being scrutinised, even if the women don't know that their interest in the sissy's feminine clothes is the reason for his trembling hands, and so we could shorten it to “Peaches was very nervous”. Note that although defining relative clauses can use “that” as a relative pronoun, non-defining ones cannot. Consider the following sentences:

The first two sentences have essentially the same meaning, both suggesting that there are several secretaries in the office, with one being picked out for special attention - the male one, of course, it not being possible for Peaches to ever be superior to a woman, even a woman ostensibly employed to perform the same work. Conversely, the last two sentences imply the company employs only a single assistant, presumably run off his feet as he desperately tries to satisfy all his superiors. Because the relative clauses are non-defining, “that” cannot be used, something that may not be as apparent with an inanimate subject:

Do you understand the difference between those sentences? If you can't explain it in your own words, perhaps you should spend some time wearing a variety of high heels until you appreciate the importance of distinguishing between pairs!

In the earlier examples, we touched upon how “who” should be used when the relative pronoun takes the place of a subject, “whom” when it replaces an object, both assuming that a person is being spoken of, and “whose” when it is indicative of possession - the latter being acceptable even for inanimate things. If you're unsure about which to use, separate the clause, and consider which personal or possessive pronoun could be employed to make it stand alone:

It's important to recognise which role a relative pronoun serves even when it doesn't refer to a person, because such pronouns may be omitted if, but only if, they are objects grammatically, so long as the relative clause is defining:

That's not the case in the following examples, so no omission is possible:

Remember that relative clauses act as adjectival phrases, affecting a noun, with the relative pronoun taking the place of a noun as far as the clause itself is concerned - that's why the previous method to choose between “who”, “whom” and “whose” works. Incidentally, “whose”, being a pronoun indicating possession, never has an apostrophe, and shouldn't be confused with the contraction “who's”, where the apostrophe shows that the latter is short for “who is”. To illustrate this, consider two phrases that, although different, describe the same sissy:

“That” can also be used with a verb, turning an associated clause into a noun. While “that” can't be replaced with a “w” word in this case, it is often possible to omit it. Consider how a that clause can serves as a direct object, an indirect object, and even as a subject in the following sentences:

Exercises

1. Read the following account of a male secretary being appraised. Copy out each sentence, underlining all the relative pronouns. If a relative pronoun can be replaced with another without affecting the meaning of a sentence (for example, swapping “that” for “which”), write the sentence again, making the replacement.

   The woman who was chairing the meeting called for attention.

   She invited Ms Crusher, who was sitting to her side, to speak first.

   Ms Crusher informed the room that she was satisfied with her secretary's progress.

   “He is subject to a regime which I am always making stricter”, she declared.

   Peaches stood there and listened to the woman whose commands he had to obey.

   “He wears a chastity belt, which makes him very obedient”, Ms Crusher asserted.

   “It cannot be removed without using the key that I hold”, she continued.

   The sissy whom she was talking about was already blushing with shame.

   He feared he would soon have to reveal the panties which he was wearing.

   The pink satin, which was embellished with ribbons and lace, was very girly.

2. Copy out the previous sentences again, but this time, underline all the relative clauses, as well as all the that clauses. After each one, write in brackets whether it is a defining or non-defining relative clause, or a that clause. Then write the sentence out again without the clause.

Exercises for extra credit

1. In your own words, explain the following terms:

   relative clause

   relative pronoun

   relative adverb

   defining relative clause

   non-defining relative clause

   that clause

2. Using your list of nouns and verbs relating to sissies, construct simple sentences. Extend each sentence using a relative pronoun to add either a defining or a non-defining relative clause to one of the nouns. Alternatively, replace one of the nouns in the sentence with a that clause. Ensure that your finished sentences reflect what happens in a female-led relationship.

3. Write an account of how the sissy's appraisal continued, using relative pronouns and clauses to describe his humiliation at the hands of the women.