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brassièred

Chapter 1: What is brassière discipline?

Brassière discipline, also known as brassière training, involves a wife having her husband wear a bra¹ in order to encourage the development of more submissive aspects of his personality. A man who wears a brassière for his wife when he would not otherwise do so is said to be brassièred, and may be referred to as a brassièred husband.

Bra discipline takes place in the context of a loving relationship such as a marriage. Its purpose is not to unnecessarily humiliate or abuse a man, but rather to gently guide him towards becoming a better husband, one who is thoughtful and considerate rather than selfish and ungrateful. It may be used to help a man be more attentive to his wife, to encourage him to be more in tune with her needs and desires, and to assist him in putting a stop to bad habits whilst acquiring good ones, as well as keeping him faithful by helping him overcome the temptation of unfaithfulness and adultery.

Bra discipline should not be confused with lingerie fetishism or crossdressing, in which a man also wears feminine underwear, nor should it be mistaken for any kind of sadomasochistic practice intended to punish or degrade its subject. In bra discipline, the wearing of a brassière is used merely as a means to an end, rather than the end itself. Unlike the transvestite, a brassièred husband is unlikely to find himself aroused by his attire - he and his wife find its benefits lie at a much deeper level.

^[1] We will use the terms “bra” and “brassière” interchangeably throughout this guide, despite the former being in more common use these days. Sadly, it would be unusual for someone of a younger generation to be heard using the unabbreviated form of the word, which seems to have acquired connotations of being somewhat old-fashioned - this distinction will be touched on again later in this guide.

What are the advantages of bra discipline?

Like many women who have just been introduced to the idea of brassière discipline, you may find it difficult to believe that any woman would want to make her husband wear a bra, let alone yourself. You may be more than a little sceptical about there being any possible benefit to be had from doing something quite so strange! You might even be about to dismiss this guide as little more than an elaborate joke that has nothing to offer any relationship in the real world, least of all your own marriage. Permit me, dear reader, to urge you not to discard this book just yet - your doubts were once shared by many of the countless women who now successfully practice brassière discipline as part of a loving relationship, and yet would never dream of looking back. All I ask is that you continue to read on with an open mind, however silly you may initially find the notion to be.

Why are such women, the author included, so enthusiastic about a practice that, quite frankly, might appear a little bizarre at first glance? Let us look in more detail at some of the myriad ways in which brassière discipline can be so beneficial for you, your husband and your relationship. Imagine, for a moment, if the man you married were:

• a husband who is less aggressive and more courteous

  Wish he wasn't ruled so much by testosterone? Prefer him to think with his head rather than with what's between his legs? It's hard for him to be too masculine when he's wearing the most feminine of garments. If he shows signs of unwanted attitude or aggression, a simple reminder of what's under his shirt is all that's needed to bring him back into line.

• a husband with fewer bad habits

  Tired of waiting up on Friday night for him to return home from drinking with his friends? When the price of doing so is him spending the weekend wearing a heavily padded bra, you can be sure he'll be in bed on time. Perhaps you'd like him to lose a little weight? Having to wear a brassière until he's slim and trim is just the motivation he needs to help shed those extra pounds.

• a husband who is more responsive to your needs and desires

  Want him to know what's on your mind without always having to spell it out for him? Wish he were less selfish and more considerate? The brassière around his chest serves as a constant reminder that you should be the centre of his world. He'll have difficulty forgetting what he's wearing, and more importantly, that he's wearing it for you.

• a husband who submits to your authority

  Looking for a little more respect in your relationship? Fed up with your husband not taking your opinions seriously? He'll know you mean business when he's had to wear a bra for you. Once he's submitted to the brassière, you'll find him submitting in other matters too - its feminine embrace will remind him exactly who's in charge!

• a husband who remains faithful

  Worried about what he gets up to when you're not there? Worry no more - no woman will be interested in him when they discover what his wife makes him wear. Tired of his eye straying onto younger ladies? He'll be looking only at you when he's reminded that he's wearing a brassière just like they are.

• a husband who takes fewer risks

  Concerned about how fast he drives? Worried that one day he'll have an accident or get in trouble with the law? He won't want to take such risks when he considers the possibility of having to explain his intimate attire to a police officer or paramedic.

• a husband who helps out more around the house

  Weary of having to do all the household chores? Wish there was someone else who would do them for you, but can't justify a cleaner? A brassièred husband makes the perfect maid, allowing you to put your feet up and relax while he takes care of all the household drudgery.

• a husband who shares a stronger, closer relationship

  Searching for something to bring you closer together? Looking for a new spark in your relationship? Brassière training is just the thing that's needed. The intimate secret of his hidden apparel is simultaneously sexy and challenging, taking your relationship to new and exciting places through a secret that only the two of you need know about.

You may not believe that something as simple as a bra, an item of clothing that most women take for granted, can have such a huge effect on a man, let alone your husband, but women around the world can attest to the remarkable power of this most feminine of garments. We'll be exploring the reasons behind this shortly, but one thing is certain - once you've seen for yourself the change that having your husband wear a bra brings about in both his attitude and his behaviour, you too will wonder why you ever had doubts about it!

What are some common misconceptions about bra discipline?

Despite the numerous advantages just outlined, you may still be harbouring doubts regarding the practicality of employing brassière discipline in your own relationship. Although you may be intrigued by the notion of using something as simple as a bra to keep your man in line, not to mention the many benefits that could result from so doing, you may be worried about some of the more practical aspects of implementing such ideas and their implications. You may wonder, for instance, why any self-respecting man, let alone your husband, would allow himself to be treated in such a fashion, and whether wearing a brassière might somehow corrupt or pervert him. You may have concerns that other people might discover your husband's secret and think badly of him or you as a result, or that your husband might resent being brassièred and come to hate you for it. You may even question whether you are capable of asking him to wear a bra for you, let alone insisting that he does so should he reject the idea, believing yourself to be merely a weak and feeble woman, powerless against his superior masculine strength.

Rest assured that such doubts are quite common among women who have only just been introduced to the idea of brassière discipline, and have yet to experience the many tangible benefits it can bring to their marriage. Nevertheless, these misconceptions are easily dismissed - let us tackle them immediately so as to reassure you that your doubts are quite unfounded:

• my husband will become a homosexual

  Perhaps the most popular misconception about men who wear women's underwear is that they do so because they are gay. Considering this fallacy more carefully, it appears to stem from the idea that women only wear sexy lingerie in order to make themselves attractive to the opposite sex, and therefore a man who behaves similarly must be doing so in order to attract other men. Needless to say, this is far from the case - a woman might wear a pretty bra hidden under regular clothing simply to feel good about herself, or may do so purely for the support it provides. Likewise, a man wearing a bra may be a crossdresser who takes pleasure from feeling in touch with his feminine side, or he may be submitting to his wife's brassière discipline - in neither case does he wear a bra out of any desire to attract other men.

  Whilst it is true that there are some gay men who wear brassières, most do not, and the vast majority of crossdressers are completely heterosexual. The same is as true, if not more so, for those men who have to wear bras at the insistence of their wife - although the brassière may be a particularly effective tool for control and discipline, it cannot change your husband's sexual orientation. A moment's thought will show such notions for the nonsense they really are - wearing a bra will no more turn a man gay than wearing trousers will turn a woman into a lesbian!

• my husband will become a crossdresser

  Another fear that is quite prevalent among women considering bra discipline is the idea that their husband will enjoy wearing a brassière so much that he soon graduates into a full-time transvestite as a result. Invariably, the mental image invoked by such fears involves him wearing the kind of trashy clothing and gaudy make-up ordinarily worn only by prostitutes, complete with hairy legs, stubble and broad shoulders, abandoning his loving wife to cruise for men at the nearest gay bar. It should go without saying how nonsensical such concerns are, but it is worth taking a moment to consider them more carefully.

  Putting aside ludicrous stereotypes for a moment, it is true that a minority of men take pleasure from wearing female clothing, finding it to be enjoyable, relaxing or arousing. It is beyond the scope of this guide to fully explore their often complicated motivations for doing so, although we shall be looking at this area in more detail later. Many such men find it difficult, if not impossible, to discuss their desire to crossdress, even with those closest to them, often out of a misguided sense of embarrassment or shame, not to mention more well-founded concerns as to how others may react. It is not unusual for otherwise happily married men to have latent crossdressing tendencies, or even to dress up in private from time to time without their partner ever knowing.

  Consequently, whilst brassière discipline will not turn your husband into a transvestite, it may reveal aspects of his personality you were not previously aware of. It should be stressed that the vast majority of brassièred husbands have absolutely no desire to crossdress, but in the event that your husband does, you can rest assured that his brassière training was not to blame! If anything, associating the wearing of feminine lingerie with marital discipline is likely to dissuade him from wanting to wear similar clothing for pleasure.

• my husband will become an effeminate pantywaist

  Some women mistakenly assume that adopting brassière discipline will turn their husband from being a manly, macho man into an undesirable, spineless wimp. Such a black and white approach is not particularly helpful, however, as there are many shades of grey between the two extremes. Whilst wearing a brassière will go some way to counter your husband's more exuberant tendencies, it will not turn him into a simpering sissy, something that simply does not appeal to most women. It is not unreasonable to want your husband to retain his backbone, whilst still encouraging him to behave less aggressively in certain situations. Having him wear a bra gives you the best of both worlds - a man who is macho when you need him to be, and not when you do not.

• my husband will become a pervert

  If you were to believe everything to be found on the television, in newspapers and on the internet, you would be forgiven for thinking that the only men who wear bras are perverts and weirdos. Sadly, the sensationalist stories of underwear thieves and the like represent only the tiny minority of bra wearing men who are actually newsworthy. With the exception of celebrities, there is very little of interest to the mainstream media about what underwear a man wears whilst going about his everyday business, and thus one never hears about bra wearing men unless they cause a nuisance in other aspects of their lives, in the same way one never hears about men who wear shorts, for example, unless there is something exceptional about them doing so.

  The situation is worse on the Internet, where it is quite common to find the most explicit, lurid fantasies combining male bra wear with forced feminization and a variety of other sexual deviancies, giving the impression that men who wear bras also engage in every sordid perversion imaginable. This phenomenon is by no means restricted to brassière discipline - one can just as easily find similarly bizarre material for almost any subject imaginable, and jump to conclusions that are just as wrong as a result. Fortunately, not everything one reads on the Internet is true!

• my husband and I will become laughing stocks

  It is understandable to be concerned about other people discovering your husband's intimate attire, and to worry about their inevitably negative reactions were they to find out that you make him wear a bra, both towards your husband and yourself. Ironically, this fear of discovery and, more importantly, the subsequent public humiliation and ridicule that would result from it, proves to be a key factor in making bra discipline as effective as it is, but may discourage some women from giving such a beneficial technique the consideration it deserves.

  Despite any protestations from your husband to the contrary, not to mention the flagrant disregard many modern women have for their modesty in this matter, it is perfectly straightforward to disguise the presence of a brassière under everyday clothing provided a little care is taken, regardless of who is wearing it. An entire chapter of this guide is devoted to illustrating the ease with which this may be achieved, such that there is absolutely no reason why anybody should ever know what your husband is wearing under his shirt unless you choose to tell them. Besides, so long as his bra is not painfully obvious, it is most unlikely that anyone will notice even the most tell-tale signs of its presence, as people on the whole are remarkably unobservant when it comes to such things, not even considering the possibility that your husband may be brassièred unless they are already practising bra discipline themselves!

  It is worth taking a moment to consider why you don't see more men wearing bras. There are very few men who wish to flaunt the fact that they are wearing feminine underwear, and those that do tend to be out-and-out crossdressers. The brassièred husband has no such desire for anyone to discover what he regards as a most humiliating secret, and as such, will go to great lengths to ensure that his brassière remains perfectly invisible at all times. He certainly won't be telling all and sundry that his wife makes him wear a bra! With such a desire for secrecy, it is quite possible that you have already seen many men wearing bras, yet simply failed to recognise them for what they are. After all, how many times have you carefully studied a man's back for the subtlest of bumps caused by a bra's strap adjusters? After reading this guide, you may find you know more brassièred men than you may have thought.

• my husband will never allow such a thing

  Sadly, there are many women who still believe that they must defer to their husband's superior masculine strength in all matters, labouring under the delusion that it somehow confers upon him the final say in any decision. Doubting their ability to make their husband do even the slightest thing against his will, one can hardly blame such women if they find it impossible to imagine something as outlandish as having him wear a brassière, an idea that he is sure to reject without even a moment's consideration. Ironically, such women have the most to gain from brassière discipline, which can help to restore a proper balance to their marriage by building their self-confidence and assertiveness, whilst at the same time teaching their husband the value of respect and submission, something he is likely to be in desperate need of!

  Even if your relationship is not quite as one-sided as those just discussed, you may still harbour doubts as to how to persuade your husband to wear a bra for you even once, let alone on a regular basis. After all, a brassière is not ordinarily part of the male wardrobe, and the connotations associated with it are unlikely to endear it to most men, let alone one who believes himself to be head of the house. Rest assured, however, that there is absolutely no need for you to be physically stronger than your husband in order to impose bra discipline upon him, no matter resistant he may initially be to the idea. With just a few simple tricks to get things started, followed by a subtle incremental approach to gradually acclimatize him to his new attire, even the most recalcitrant husband may be made to submit to regular bra wear and soon subdued. We will look at exactly how to go about achieving such a result in more detail in the next chapter.

• my husband will hate me if I make him wear a bra

  Unless your husband does have crossdressing tendencies, he is unlikely to appreciate having to wear a bra for its own sake - after all, if he did enjoy doing so, the chances are that he would already be wearing a brassière from his own volition, without the need for any kind of discipline from his wife! Quite understandably, many women are reluctant to ask their husband to do anything that he may not like, let alone insist on it, out of fear that he will associate his wife with the negative feelings he has towards doing so, and come to resent her as a consequence. When it comes to brassière discipline, it is not uncommon for women to imagine that making their husband wear a bra, something he is bound to hate, is a sure route to marital strife and discord.

  Surprisingly, this is far from the case! Although your husband may not enjoy wearing a brassière in and of itself, he is sure to appreciate the improvement that his bra training brings about in him. Many men are sadly all too aware of their own bad habits, not to mention the liberties that they take with regards to their relationship, and often secretly hate their lack of willpower and determination that prevents them from doing anything to resolve such issues. Not only would such men welcome someone else taking control of the matter, providing them with the willpower they lack, they are often extremely thankful to no longer have to put up the pretence of being a perfect alpha male, gratefully falling back into a more subordinate role that allows them to honestly acknowledge the problems they need to address. If the cost of doing so is merely having to wear a brassière when told to, your husband may well regard that as being a price well worth paying in exchange for the improvement he sees in himself. Even if he is initially completely ignorant in this regard, he may yet end up thanking you for your efforts on his behalf.

• my husband will look silly and unattractive

  Asked to picture a man wearing a bra, most women have a hard time imagining anything even remotely attractive about the idea, no doubt finding images of hairy crossdressers or seedy flashers springing to mind. At best, a bra wearing man is laughably ludicrous; at worst, he is a revolting pervert. In a sense, this is one of the benefits of brassière discipline - most women simply do not find a man wearing a bra to be in the least bit appealing, and thus your husband is unlikely to be of interest to them if he is so attired.

  Contrary to expectations, however, you may find that your husband actually looks rather cute wearing a pretty bra, not because of what he is wearing, but the reasons behind him doing so. There is something surprisingly romantic about a man doing something that he wouldn't ordinarily dream of doing, something that runs the risk of attracting ridicule and scorn, solely and utterly for you. While you might find any other man wearing the same bra to be ludicrous or disgusting, your husband doing so is far more attractive because he's wearing it for you, as a sign of his commitment to your relationship. Even if you don't find your husband to be particularly appealing when brassièred, there's absolutely no reason why he must remain that way at all times; the beauty of the bra is that you can have him remove it at any time you require him to be “all man”, and yet put it back on the next moment when there are chores to be done.

• I don't want to go that far

  There is a lot of material presented in this guide, which is aimed at a wide audience, ranging from those who have never heard of bra discipline before to those who have been practising it for years and are looking for new ideas. If it all sounds rather difficult and daunting, or if you find some of the techniques to be a little extreme, fear not! The beauty of brassière training your husband is that you can proceed with it as quickly or as slowly as you like, going only as far as you feel comfortable with. Some women mistakenly fear that as soon as they begin practising bra discipline, their husbands will inevitably end up dressed completely as women twenty four hours a day, but such an impractical outcome will not come about unless that is exactly what you want. Most women find themselves content with using just a few of the simple techniques outlined in this guide in order to achieve their desires - some do prefer to keep their husbands brassièred on a regular basis, but others find that simply the threat of the bra is sufficient to keep their husband in line. It's entirely up to you how far you choose to go.

We shall be exploring many of the issues raised here in greater depth throughout the course of this guide, taking a step-by-step approach to explain in detail why you need not let them keep you from enjoying the manifold benefits that brassière discipline has to offer. Any lingering doubts you may still have will hopefully have evaporated by the time you reach the end of this book, but there is no real substitute for experience - the sooner you put your husband in a bra, the sooner you'll understand for yourself just why brassière discipline has no equal!

Why is the brassière so powerful?

At this stage, you may well be wondering what you are missing. After all, the chances are that you've been wearing a bra since you were a teenager, and have grown so accustomed to putting one on every day when you get dressed in the morning that you no longer give it a second thought. Like the majority of women, you probably regard the brassière as just another garment - one that can be a little uncomfortable from time to time, perhaps, or that you might use to feel sexy by choosing to wear an especially nice one, but fundamentally no different from anything else in your wardrobe. Just what have you been missing all these years that makes it so special? What warrants an entire book to extol its virtues?

To understand the power of the brassière, it is necessary to take a step backwards and approach it from a male perspective. It would be easy to assume that the average man on the street might also regard it as just another garment, but this is a dangerous assumption to make - for starters, he has not been wearing one every day of his adult life, because quite simply, men don't wear bras. Indeed, for many men, the brassière is a mystery that holds a particular fascination - by their very nature, most men are instinctively drawn to the breasts of women, breasts that are ordinarily kept hidden by the barrier of a bra. It is not only the coveted breasts that are shielded from view, but even the bra itself, deemed by society to be an intimate garment that should only be hinted at, surrounded with an aura of mystery about what might lie beneath. Small wonder, then, that a man should regard it as something more than just another of his wife's clothes. Perhaps the closest a woman can come to understanding this is to think back to when she was younger and try to remember the significance that her first bra held for her - it symbolized the beginning of her transition into womanhood.

Moreover, a man has no need for a brassière himself. Designed to support a woman's breasts, it is a uniquely feminine garment, for with the exception of certain medical conditions such as gynecomastia and morbid obesity, most men simply do not have breasts large enough to warrant having to wear a bra for support purposes. Whereas society dictates that men should not wear other items of female clothing such as skirts, there is nothing fundamental about a skirt that prevents a man from wearing one - indeed, in other times and other cultures, it would be perfectly normal for men to do so. A man might choose to defy societal norms and wear ladies stockings or tights² tokeep his legs warm, as many long distance runners or cyclists will testify, or he might wear ladies knickers³ because he prefers a snug fit (admittedly, he might be stretching our credibility a little), but the brassière is different - its very purpose means a man has absolutely no need for it.

One need only consider why the feminists of the sixties burned their bras in order to understand the wealth of connotations that surrounds them. For the feminists, the bra symbolized a hateful oppression of the female form in the pursuit of beauty, and yet, paradoxically, the brassière is one of the most potent icons of all that is feminine. Such is the perceived stigma associated with male bra wear that many men who would genuinely benefit from wearing one for support would rather suffer in silence than even consider the relief a brassière might offer, out of fear of the ridicule and humiliation they believe doing so would bring. Whilst there are “male support vests” available for such men, which serve to compress the breast tissue in a similar manner to minimizer bras, there are no “male bras” as such, because no-one would buy them.

Combining all these factors, it is clear that unlikely any other garment, the brassière is in a unique position to humble a man. Consider the predicament of a man who has been made to wear a bra. How can he explain his situation if his intimate attire is discovered? He cannot say that he is wearing it for support purposes, for the very shape of his body will give lie to such a notion. Nor will he wish to say that he finds wearing such a garment sexually arousing, for to do so is to court ridicule. To admit the truth, however, that he has been made to wear a bra by his wife, would prove just as humiliating, and thus faced with such a dilemma, knowing that there is no way he can retain respect after explaining his situation, he will do anything to avoid being discovered.

It would be possible to philosophize at length regarding the significance the brassière has for men, and why, unlike any other garment, it is ideally suited to keeping them in line, but in practice, bra discipline is effective for a number of reasons:

• it has a strong deterrent effect

  A man threatened with having to wear a bra knows that doing so would place him in the impossible situation just outlined, unable to explain his intimate attire were it to be discovered, yet requiring a certain amount of effort to prevent such discovery. He thus has a very strong motivation to avoid ending up in such a position in the first place, which in turn provides him with a very good reason to follow whatever instructions his wife has given him as an alternative to carrying out her threat, however much he might otherwise be tempted to disobey her.

• it encourages a more submissive state of mind

  Once a man is trapped in the embrace of a brassière, he knows that he finds himself in quite a quandary! He has submitted to his wife and acknowledged that she is in charge of the situation. By allowing himself to be placed in such a embarrassing position, he has transferred any authority he may have had to her, and becomes docile and compliant as a result. His motivation is now to ensure no further humiliation befalls him, which is best achieved by complying with whatever further instructions his wife may have for him.

• it provides a constant reminder of its presence

  It is difficult for a man to forget that he is wearing a brassière, both physically and psychologically. The pull of its elastic, the pressure around his chest and even the feel of its materials are all sensations he is unlikely to have experienced from any of his regular clothing. Moreover, the constant fear of discovery, coupled with the vigilance required to avoid being found out, leads to a sense of being kept on edge, making it impossible to ignore a brassière's presence for any length of time.

• it acts as a surrogate in your absence

  Unless he is particularly cavalier, a man is unlikely to get up to much mischief whilst under the watchful eye of his wife, who can put a stop to such misbehaviour before it gets too out of hand. It is when she is not there to guide him that he is more likely to be tempted to be unfaithful or otherwise get into trouble, were it not for his brassière and the constant reminder of his submission to his wife it provides. One can think of a bra as being similar to a wedding ring in this respect, reminding him of his marriage vows, but being harder for the man wearing it to ignore.

• it discourages other women from being too interested

  Thanks to the many negative connotations associated with men wearing bras, few women are likely to find another woman's husband at all appealing if he is wearing a brassière. They need never know what he is wearing under his shirt for it to have a beneficial effect on his fidelity - imagining how the woman he is interested in will react to being told “my wife makes me wear a bra”, a brassièred husband will be reluctant to even try flirting with her, let alone go any further.

It should hopefully now be clear that the effects of wearing a brassière for a man are radically different than those for a woman wearing the same garment. Despite being functionally pointless as far as the male body is concerned, the psychological effects of being made to wear a bra are immense. It may be difficult to immediately comprehend just how powerful brassière discipline can be, but it should soon become apparent should you employ it in your own relationship. In the next chapter, we'll look at the ease with which you can start doing so.

^[2] Americans may be more familiar with the term “pantyhose”.

^[3] Americans may be more familiar with the term “panties”.