Chapter 2: How do I make him wear his first bra?

Having discussed the theory behind brassière discipline in quite sufficient length, let us now turn to how use of this remarkable garment may be introduced to your own relationship. The question that immediately springs to mind is quite simple to pose, but somewhat more complicated to answer - given the rather negative connotations he is likely to associate with men wearing bras, how on earth can a regular man such as your husband be persuaded to wear one himself?

Fortunately, it is only the very first step towards brassière training your husband that is likely to pose this much difficulty. Once he has worn a bra for you once, no matter how briefly or how reluctantly, it becomes significantly easier to have him do so again, and again, and again, for he can no longer argue that he should not wear a brassière because he has never done so before. Knowing that he has submitted to your will in the past, and knowing that you also know, your husband will find it much harder to resist similar requests in future, particularly should he be reminded of his previous submission. There is only the initial hurdle of persuading him to wear his very first bra that must be overcome, after which his brassière discipline will soon become quite routine.

Unfortunately, because most men have no practical use for a bra, one cannot introduce it in the same way one might with, say, ladies stockings, where it is conceivable that you might suggest your husband started wearing them to keep his legs warm, even if that were just a pretext for having him wear hosiery for other purposes. Sadly, unless your husband has unusually large breasts, it is hard to think of a similar excuse for how he might practically benefit from wearing a bra. There are, however, a variety of ways in which he can be brassièred for the very first time with far less difficulty than you might imagine. Some women are able simply to discuss the matter with their husbands, some find a little feminine cunning allows them to achieve their ends, whereas others take advantage of unexpected opportunities or unfortunate situations in order to introduce brassière discipline into their marriage.

We shall now look at each of these options in more detail. Some will be more or less appropriate to your individual situation than others, but hopefully there should be one that stands out as being best suited to your needs. If not, some time spent considering the matter should soon yield a satisfactory way forward, which need not be particularly elegant provided your husband is brassièred at the end of it. After all, regardless of how you choose to make your husband wear his first bra, the most important thing is that he does so - the sooner he discovers its feminine embrace, the sooner your relationship will benefit from its effects.

Discussing brassière discipline openly with your husband

One of the more peculiar testaments to the power of brassière discipline is the way in which it may not actually need to be implemented in order to have a beneficial effect. Merely the suggestion that he may have to wear a bra is often quite sufficient to stop a man in his tracks, with his bad behaviour sure to change if it is associated with the threat of the brassière. A husband who has been brassièred before is sure to understand the implications of such a threat, the inevitable consequences of any disobedience being all too familiar from past experience, but even a man who has never considered having to wear a bra before is sure to find the idea quite disconcerting! He may not yet understand the full nuances of such a predicament, but is sure to be instinctively aware that wearing a bra would put him in quite a quandary.

One approach to introducing brassière discipline to your relationship, therefore, is to start making subtle verbal suggestions regarding specific men wearing bras (perhaps by commenting privately to your husband about an obese man who could genuinely use a brassière for support), gradually developing the theme into how men in general would benefit from wearing them (both to develop a greater understanding of what it is like to be a woman, as well as to keep them out of mischief), before suggesting that your husband in particular should also wear one for the same reasons (“you wouldn't behave like that if you were wearing a bra”). The beauty of this approach is that you can test the waters to see how your husband is likely to react to the idea without him ever knowing what you are doing. Not only is this far easier to begin with than actually putting your husband in a bra, it also offers him far less room for objection - any protestations he makes may be easily dismissed by suggesting that he need not worry so long as he is good, and are a clear sign that he is taking the idea to heart.

Initially, your suggestions regarding male bra wear should not be too serious - regardless of your ultimate intentions, approaching the idea in an ambiguous, half-joking fashion makes it harder for your husband to protest too strongly against such comments without appearing to overreact, something which may be used to your advantage if he does. Over time, a more serious tone should be gradually adopted, with regular comments about the benefits of bra training made until a firm association has been established in your husband's mind between men misbehaving and having to wear a bra as a punishment. Once this has taken place, and the idea of brassière discipline is no longer novel to him, it is merely a case of finding a suitable opportunity to start brassièring your husband for real - by this stage, he will most likely accept the bra, however grudgingly, as a consequence of whatever misbehaviour you have chosen to make an example of.

Some women may be fortunate enough to be able to take an even more direct approach, openly discussing the idea of brassière discipline with their husbands without any need for such subterfuge. If you already take a more assertive role in your relationship, you may find it possible simply to ask your husband to wear a brassière for you (or even to tell him to do so if he is particularly submissive, perhaps as a result of other training). In such a situation, it is helpful to spell out your reasons for wanting him to do so, as well as addressing any concerns he may have, before having him agree that it makes sense. It is difficult for a man to argue against something that will help keep him out of mischief, remain faithful and be more considerate, particularly when presented in such terms, but he may understandably be worried about the practical issues involved in him wearing a bra. Hopefully, any concerns he may have will be addressed by the relevant chapters of this guide, and whilst you may not wish him to read its entire contents, there is something to be said for working through specific sections together, particularly those regarding avoiding discovery. If you do choose to present brassière discipline as something you have read about in a book and wish to try, one option is to suggest doing so for a modest amount of time to see how well it works. Once your husband has agreed to the idea, and is wearing his first bra as a result, he will find it harder to complain - after all, he did give his consent!

Using a little feminine cunning to brassière him

The intimate connotations society associates with the brassière mean that there are remarkably few situations in which the average man on the street might be expected to have one in his hands. Apart from a few rather unlikely exceptions, such situations are invariably erotic - although there are some men whose work might expose them to such feminine garments, most only come into contact with them when purchasing a sexy gift for their wife, or, more often, when helping her remove said gift during love-making.

Such situations offer an ideal opportunity to overcome the initial hurdle of persuading your husband to wear his first bra, by taking advantage of his sexual arousal. Suitably distracted by matters at hand, most men are unlikely to want to stop and take the time to rationally consider the long-term consequences of briefly donning a bra in the bedroom, particularly if it is presented as part of a sexy little game intended merely to add to the fun they are having. The driving force of a man in such a situation should be self-evident - his primary concern is that he should achieve a happy conclusion, and if he finds a brassière is suggested as a means to that end, he is unlikely to offer more than token resistance to it.

A woman's breasts are one of the key areas that most men are instinctively drawn to when making love, with the bra that invariably shields them needing to be removed before they become available. Rather than allowing your own brassière to be simply discarded on the way to the bedroom like any other garment, you should try to keep it on for as long as possible during sex, making your husband work harder than usual to get it off. Needless to say, you should wear a particularly sexy brassière for this purpose, rather than a more utilitarian style, so as to draw his eye to it and emphasize its special role, something which may be helped by encouraging him to feel the soft touch of its silk, satin or lace, not to mention the stretch of its elastic. The continued presence of your bra is likely to prove somewhat frustrating to your husband, creating the perfect opportunity to suggest that if he wants to take it off so badly, maybe he should be wearing it instead. “If you want to take it off, you'll have to wear it”, you can tease him. “You'd look really sexy wearing my bra. Come on, try it on for me!”. If you move quickly at this stage, he will have little time to react adversely before your bra is around his chest, where it should remain for as long as possible, preferably at least until he next needs to get dressed, and certainly until after he has enjoyed a particularly satisfying climax wearing it.

It is possible that your husband may protest weakly at the idea, but overwhelmed by his need for sexual release, his arousal will almost certainly get the better of his rational reasoning. Don't wait for him to don the bra himself, but rather take the initiative and start putting it on him without pausing for any kind of reaction. Any feeble objections he may make should be easily defeated by sexily teasing him while you do so. “You'll look so sexy in it. Didn't I look sexy in it? Then you will too! Don't you want to look sexy for me?”, you can say, as you slide the straps of your bra up his arms. Don't worry if it isn't a perfect fit - even if he is a completely different size to you, and it proves impossible to fasten your bra around his body, its straps should still be capable of resting on his shoulders and the cups on his chest without too much difficulty. “We should really get you one of your own”, you can joke, but it won't be long before your husband really is wearing bras of his own - once he's worn a brassière once, even briefly in the bedroom, the battle is already won, as you can refer to the incident when asking him to wear a bra again in the future.

If you prefer to be more open about things, you can present the idea of having your husband wear a bra whilst making love under the guise of sexual experimentation. Some men love to experiment sexually, and most others are easily persuaded to do so, such that if you offer to “try something new”, you are unlikely to meet much resistance. One idea is to suggest that you have read about dressing your husband up in a woman's magazine or a book, or that a friend of yours has been talking about how fantastic the sex was as a result of doing so, and you are curious as to what it would be like if you were both wearing sexy lingerie. Your husband may not be terribly keen on wearing such clothes himself, but is sure to salivate at the prospect of seeing you so dressed, not to mention the promise of great sex afterwards. Suggesting that other men have already enjoyed making love whilst wearing lingerie will help to break down any inhibitions your husband may have regarding the idea, whilst the scenario as a whole offers an ideal opportunity to purchase appropriate sized garments in advance for your husband, which can be useful if your contrasting sizes would otherwise be a problem.

Finally, if your sexual repertoire includes tying your husband up, or can be extended to include doing so, there is no reason why you cannot make him wear a bra once he is suitable bound and thus unable to resist. A brassière with detachable straps is needed for this purpose, as it is impossible to slide the straps of a regular bra up a man's arms if his hands are securely fastened to the bedposts! One end of each strap should be detached, the bra fastened around your husband's chest, and the straps passed over his shoulders and reattached, leaving him wearing the bra no differently than if he were to have put it on himself. He may struggle a little once he understands what you are doing, but in such a vulnerable position, he has little choice but to soon become compliant, something he should be appropriately rewarded for. The ethics of taking advantage of such a situation are beyond the scope of this book, although it is much better if you can seek your husband's consent, however grudgingly it may be given, for reasons we shall discuss towards the end of this chapter.

Taking advantage of unexpected opportunities

So far we have looked at deliberately creating the chain of events that ultimately leads to your husband being brassièred, but if you keep an eye open long enough, you'll start to notice other, unexpected opportunities that may be used to start down the road to brassière discipline. Waiting for such an opportune event may require a little more patience than the methods discussed so far, but can prove just as successful, particularly as your husband may unwittingly provide the initial stimulus that sets things in motion, leaving him with the conviction that he is somehow responsible for his fate, and thus less likely to rebel against having to wear a bra than if he regards doing so as being purely his wife's idea. Some examples of opportunities to watch out for include:

These are just some examples of the kind of opportunities that may be used to introduce brassière discipline into a relationship, but if you keep an eye open for such things, you are sure to find others that are particularly suited to your own situation. However you choose to do so, the end result should be the same - for whatever reason, your husband will have worn a brassière once, breaking the initial barrier, and allowing you develop his bra wear into more regular training and discipline.

Discovering your husband has been unfaithful

It is impossible to underestimate the devastating heartbreak that results from discovering that your husband has been unfaithful to you. Without having had personal experience of such a tremendous shock, one cannot begin to comprehend the overwhelming sense of betrayal, anger and humiliation that results from being a victim of adultery, something that tears apart everything you thought you could rely on, turning your world upside-down in an instant. Such terrible suffering is made immeasurably worse by the apparent ease with which it has been inflicted, often without even a moment's thought for the consequences. It is a horrible thing to happen to any woman, and if you are reading this guide because you find yourself in such an unfortunate situation, you have my deepest sympathies. Sadly, such a dreadful turn of events is by no means uncommon.

Some men show no remorse when their infelicities are discovered, making light of the anguish they have caused as though it were every man's right to betray his wife in such a heartless and callous fashion. Such men are the lowest of the low, and deserve no leniency whatsoever - should your husband prove to be such a scoundrel, it is better to divorce him at once than to have anything more to do with him. Others are profuse with apologies and excuses, expressing their profound regrets for what they claim to be merely a moment's misjudgement, promising that they will never stray again and offering to do whatever it takes to win back the trust they have lost, as though somehow mere words can undo the unbearable hurt they have caused. Such men, if they are genuinely repentant, may be redeemable, but the chances are that a husband who has cheated on his wife once will do so again, unless it is made impossible for him to do so. It is here that brassière discipline has a role to play.

Adultery is a very serious business, and the first call of any wife so wronged should be to seek professional legal advice, so as to ascertain her financial standing should the worst happen and the relationship end in divorce. Should you find yourself in such unfortunate circumstances, you must take every possible step to consolidate your legal and financial position, including keeping a comprehensive record of your husband's unfaithfulness, however painful that may be, with full dates and details of his confession or discovery. The importance of securing your future in this way must not be underestimated. Only once you are absolutely sure that the relationship can continue, and that allowing it to do so is not only in your best interests but also what you truly want, only then should you consider imposing brassière discipline upon your errant husband to prevent him straying again.

The one, faint, silver lining to be found in such an awful situation is that you can dispense with the gradual incremental approach otherwise favoured by this guide, and present your philandering husband with a stark ultimatum: if he does not want your marriage to end immediately as a result of his despicable behaviour, he must accept brassière discipline on your terms, completely and without question, it being the only way that you can guarantee that he will not betray you again. His response to such a clear-cut question will allow you to determine immediately whether his promises to do whatever it takes to save the relationship are genuine, or merely further lies from a black-hearted rogue who should be divorced forthwith.

At the very least, a husband with a history of adultery should be made to wear a bra whenever he is out of your sight, which should be secured in such a way as to make it impossible for him to remove without you finding out. The reasons for doing so are self-evident, but should be clearly spelled out to him on a regular basis - if you are ever to regain your trust in him, you must be sure that he cannot betray you again, and the brassière will guarantee that he stays faithful. After all, no woman will be remotely interested in a man whose wife makes him wear a bra! Under no circumstances must he be allowed to remove it without your express permission - any attempts at tampering with its clasp, you should tell him, will be regarded as a further breach of trust, something he must avoid at all costs unless he wishes to end up in the divorce courts.

There is no reason why you cannot make his discipline more severe right from the very beginning, particularly if you wish to include an element of penance on his part. Whilst making him suffer too much can be counter-productive, you may wish to extend his brassière wear such that he must wear one throughout the day, or even at night as well, which can make managing his new attire easier - for you, at least! Having him wear matching knickers, not to mention stockings and suspenders, will not necessarily make his discipline any more effective, but will increase his sense of being expected to suffer in order to make amends. Finally, a wife who has been betrayed should give serious consideration to keeping her philandering husband locked in a male chastity device, something which will put a stop to his extra-marital wanderings once and for all.

Discovering your husband has been crossdressing

A small but significant minority of men take pleasure from wearing feminine clothing, finding doing so to be enjoyable or arousing. The vast majority of such crossdressers do not wish to become women completely, but merely enjoy dressing up occasionally, either as a form of relaxation or for sexual relief. Unfortunately, many feel an intense guilt or shame regarding their behaviour, thanks in part to society's negative attitudes towards it, and have immense difficulty discussing their desires with others, especially those closest to them, out of fear of being ridiculed or rejected. Unable to tell his wife, a man who harbours such longings may try to repress them for a while, but inevitably ends up indulging them in her absence, often feeling dirty and ashamed afterwards, promising himself that he will never do so again - until, that is, the next time his need to crossdress becomes overwhelming.

Sadly, the first that many women know about their husband's secret habit is when they come home unexpectedly early one day to find him dressed as a woman, often with the added indignity of him wearing her clothes. It is small wonder that they are likely to find this experience highly traumatising - the sight of the man they married, presumably for his masculine attributes, dressed as an undoubtedly monstrous caricature of female stereotypes is enough of a shock for a woman to face unprepared, let alone the sense of betrayal that she must feel knowing that her husband was unable to share such an intimate secret with her. Transvestites would be well advised to be open and honest about their desires from the very beginning of a relationship so as to prevent such an unfortunate situation from ever occurring, even if doing so comes at the cost of the potential relationship in question.

If you do disturb your husband in such a compromising position, or discover his desire to crossdress in more fortunate circumstances, perhaps as a result of him confessing to you, fear not - brassière discipline will allow you to turn the situation to your advantage. Because of the guilt they harbour, many men fantasize about being feminized against their will, made to wear lingerie and other female garments by a dominant woman who gives them no choice in the matter but to comply with her wishes. The transfer of control in such fantasies allows the transvestite to assuage his guilt by passing the responsibility for his embarrassing attire to another. However much he may desire to be dressed in such a way, he can pretend that it is no longer his decision and thus he is no longer to blame for whatever shameful predicament he finds himself in.

One might think that brassière discipline would be less effective for such individuals, who would welcome having to wearing a bra with open arms, as it were. Surprisingly, this is far from the case - it is one thing for a man to fantasize about being forced to wear a bra, but quite another thing for him to actually be made to do so. Whilst a transvestite husband might be sexually aroused by the idea of being occasionally brassièred in private, undoubtedly in an erotic situation, he will almost certainly think differently about the matter in the more mundane context of having to conceal his bra at work, for instance, particularly if the brassière in question has been made uncomfortably tight as a punishment for previous misbehaviour. Regardless of whether or not he enjoys wearing the bra, however, it will still have the same beneficial effects on his behaviour, encouraging a more submissive state of mind that is often deeper and more profound in men with transvestite tendencies - this altered state of mind may be part of the reason they choose to wear such clothes in the first place.

Women whose husbands are crossdressers will find it particularly easy to start their brassière discipline, as the vitally important stage of making him wear a bra for the first time will be trivial in comparison to non-transvestite men. Do not think, however, that by keeping him brassièred you are merely pandering to his fantasies, as the realities of bra discipline are just as effective for crossdressers as for other men, all of whom must ultimately realise that they have no control over how, when and where they have to wear a bra. If he happens to enjoy certain aspects of his discipline, so much the better - you may find it worth indulging him occasionally, as this can work to your advantage. After all, a wife whose husband enjoys being a transvestite maid need never worry about the cleaning again! The important thing to remember is that you remain in control - you can always temper your husband's behaviour with the techniques discussed elsewhere in this guide should it not be quite to your liking.

What if he refuses to wear a brassière?

We have looked at a number of ways in which your husband can be persuaded to wear a bra, and although each has every likelihood of success, there is still the possibility that he might simply refuse to do so. It is best to be prepared for this in advance, just in case, so as to be able to handle such a situation to your advantage should it arise. However, it is important not to confuse mere reluctance to wear a bra with outright rejection of the idea - unless your husband already enjoys crossdressing, he is unlikely to be particularly eager to don such feminine attire. Rather than expecting him to do so by himself, you may well need to take the initiative in this matter, putting the brassière on him whilst ignoring any token resistance he may offer. He may grumble about looking silly, that it won't fit, or that men don't wear bras, but do not let such comments put you off - a few words of encouragement, together with a firm attitude are all that are needed to overcome such reluctance. Once your husband is finally brassièred, you should emphasise the foolishness of any earlier resistance. “That wasn't so hard, was it?”, you can ask him, “I don't know why you made such a fuss about doing such a simple little thing for me”. He should be rewarded for his eventual co-operation, whereas you can begin to enjoy the benefits that bra training him has to offer.

There is no reason to concede defeat in such a situation unless your husband physically prevents you from putting the brassière on him. If he does prove to be stronger than you in this regard, such that you are unable to brassière him immediately, do not be deterred by such a temporary setback, but consider it to be merely a demonstration of the power of the bra - your husband is sufficiently bothered by the idea of wearing one as to reject it in such a forceful way. By doing so, he leaves the door wide open for you to use the suggestion of having to do so as a means of keeping him line, taking us back to the method discussed at the start of this chapter, in which comments such as “you wouldn't do that if you were wearing a bra” can be gradually introduced until the idea of male brassière wear becomes so familiar as to be inevitable, however vehemently he may have originally opposed it.

In the interim, you should not allow his refusal to wear a bra to go without consequence. If you attempted to introduce it whilst making love, his rejection of the brassière should bring an immediate halt to proceedings, leaving him unsatisfied, and sending a clear message that he has disappointed you. You can tell him that you don't understand why he has such a big problem with doing such a small thing for you, when all you wanted was simply to play a sexy little game together. If he starts making amorous advances at a later date, you can make any reciprocation contingent on his compliance. “Well, that depends on whether I can dress you up this time”, you can say, and if he is still reluctant to co-operate, “Then I'm not really in the mood!”. It is worth asking him why he is so frightened of such a flimsy little garment - after all, you wouldn't expect such a negative reaction if you'd asked him to wear a hat, for example. As paradoxical as it sounds, you can suggest he must feel insecure about his masculinity if he's terrified by the thought of wearing a brassière, because a real man would have absolutely nothing to fear from doing something so simple for their wife. Could it be a big man like him is scared of a tiny little bra? If you present regular opportunities for him to change his mind, it won't be long before he's complying with your wishes.

Brassière discipline requires the consent of your husband, however grudgingly it may be given. Fundamentally, it is not possible to make a man wear a bra if he is absolutely opposed to the idea - unless he is restrained, which aside from any ethical issues is impractical for any length of time, there is nothing to stop him removing a brassière that has been forced upon him, should he be suitably determined not to wear it. In order for brassière training to be at all feasible, your husband must choose to submit to it. Nevertheless, most men prefer to please their wife rather than seeking unnecessarily conflict with her, and thus will opt for the lesser of two evils if presented with a choice between submitting to the brassière, which may not be intrinsically appealing but will make her happy, and refusing to do so, which may spare a little temporary embarrassment at the cost of an awful lot of strife. Over time, such men will discover that wearing a bra isn't as bad as they may have imagined, and brings with it unexpected rewards too.