Chapter 3: How do I develop his brassière discipline?

In the previous chapter, we observed that the most difficult step involved in bra training your husband is persuade him to wear a brassière for the very first time. Once this initial obstacle has been overcome, it becomes easier and easier to have him brassièred more and more often until the full benefits of bra discipline have been realised. In this chapter, we will look in more detail at how you can develop his brassière training from such singular beginnings into a more regular practice, as well as some of the issues involved in doing so. You can rest assured that if your husband has already worn a bra for you once, it is now simply a case of continuing to have him do so, gradually deepening the extent of his brassière wear until you achieve the desired effect from it.

How often should he wear a bra?

The question of how often your husband should wear a bra depends entirely on your circumstances. Some women choose to brassière their husbands only as a last resort, finding that the mere threat of having to wear to wear a bra is sufficient to keep them in line. Such women reserve brassière wearing as a punishment for misbehaviour, and do not expect their husbands to be brassièred on a regular basis. Others, however, appreciate the peculiar state of mind that wearing a bra instils in a man, and insist on a brassière whenever they wish their husbands to be docile and submissive. This may range from occasional bra wear for particular tasks or situations, such as doing household chores, right through to being brassièred every day on a full-time basis.

In general, brassière discipline follows a progression through these stages, beginning with occasional bra wear and gradually developing until the wife is satisfied with its results and wishes to progress no further. Such an approach is beneficial as it provides ample opportunity for the husband to grow accustomed to the ever increasing proportion of his time that he is expected to spend brassièred. Although some women are able to insist on prolonged brassière wear immediately, particularly those who are in the unfortunate situation of having to issue an ultimatum to an unfaithful partner, it is generally preferable to adopt a slower and more gradual approach. By never presenting your husband with excessively large changes to adapt to, but instead choosing a more subtle, incremental approach, he will have difficulty challenging the situation - any objections he raises may be easily dismissed by suggesting he is simply overreacting to a little change which really doesn't warrant him making such a fuss about.

Let us look now at the typical progression that a woman practising brassière discipline might take her husband through:

There is, of course, no need to progress through to any of these stages, let alone full-time brassière wear, unless you consider them to be appropriate for your own situation. Although we have illustrated a series of steps by which such a conclusion might be achieved, it must be stressed most emphatically that this progression is by no means inevitable - the decision as to how far to take your husband's brassière training is entirely yours! Many women find themselves quite content with using just the threat of the bra to keep their husbands in line, only occasionally carrying it out to show that they are not bluffing. A similar approach may be all that is needed in your own relationship - the choice is entirely yours.

It is important to avoid relaxing your husband's discipline except under the most exceptional of circumstances, such that once he has started to wear a bra regularly in a particular situation, he must continue to do so thereafter. By never permitting him to go braless in such circumstances again, regardless of any protestations he may make to the contrary, your husband will soon learn to accept his situation and not waste your time begging not to be brassièred “just this once”, something that has a nasty tendency to grow into a bad habit if not immediately dealt with. Should he persist with such futile efforts, it is helpful to punish him in kind - by brassièring him for longer as a result, he'll soon come to understand that any attempt to reduce the amount of time he must wear a bra will actually have quite the opposite effect!

[1] Some feminists would go even further, arguing that “real women don't do housework”. This is a radical position, and it is simply unrealistic to expect your husband to do everything from day one - unless he actively enjoys working around the house, a significant amount of training will be required before he can take all the weight of the chores off your shoulders.

Why is it important for him to have his own bras?

Unless you only intend to brassière your husband very occasionally, preferring to use the threat of such discipline to keep him in line, you will find it soon becomes necessary for him to have bras of his own, rather than borrowing yours. Although the latter is a very useful tool for introducing your husband to brassière training, not least because of its ready availability, it is important that he should graduate to wearing his own bras at the earliest opportunity. As well as allowing him to wear one that is the right size for him, which is more comfortable and less likely to damage the bra in question than squeezing into yours, having his own teaches him that wearing a brassière is something you will expect him to do on a regular basis, rather than merely for playing around with in the bedroom. Just as he has his own clothes to wear everyday rather than wearing yours, so too should he have bras of his own.

Although he may not realise it at the time, a man's first bra marks a very important milestone in his brassière training. It is one thing for him to wear one of his wife's brassières whilst making love, something that might easily be dismissed as mere fooling about during a sexy bedroom game, but quite another thing for him to have a bra of his own, one that has not and will not be worn by anyone else. It is not necessary to emphasize this at the time, however, nor is it beneficial to do so - it is better for him to slowly become accustomed to this new addition to his wardrobe rather than being directly confronted with its significance. You should simply present him with his bra instead of yours next time you decide to brassière him, suggesting in passing that you felt he should have one that fitted properly rather than stretching yours. He may not be particularly appreciative of such a gift, but provided the size is approximately right, it will be more comfortable for him to wear, and thus he shouldn't have too much ground for complaint.

To stress the fact that the brassière belongs to him rather than you, it should be kept with the rest of his underwear, distinctly separate from your own lingerie. It is his, after all! Over the course of time, he will inevitably acquire further bras to add to it, until he eventually has quite a collection - perhaps even enough to warrant his own lingerie drawer! Such additions tend to go hand in hand with the progression of his discipline, as a new bra presents an ideal opportunity to develop his bra training further. You may, for example, purchase him a couple of new everyday bras and then suggest that he has enough to be able to wear a clean one each evening after work, when previously he might have been brassièred more sporadically. He may also need specific styles of bras for particular purposes - uncomfortably padded for punishment, easily concealed for wearing in public, for instance. Having a range of brassières for your husband to wear gives you the freedom to adapt his discipline as required.

Your husband's bras may be bought from the same kind of places that you might purchase them for yourself. As well as department stores, lingerie shops and rather more expensive specialist boutiques, many larger supermarkets stock a reasonable range if you are shopping on a budget2. If your husband is quite a different size to you, it is possible that a particularly attentive member of staff might point out the discrepancy, but there is no need for you to justify your choice of purchase to them - they are merely doing their job and should be happy to serve you regardless. A simple “thanks, I know; it's fine” is quite sufficient an answer, unless you are feeling mischievous! Once your husband has been successfully brassièred, there is no reason why you can't involve him in the process, given that he will be wearing the garments in question - we shall look at the issues involved with this in more detail later. If you prefer not to shop in person, however, there are also numerous online outlines that supply lingerie in a wide range of styles and sizes, which can be invaluable if you have unusual requirements.

[2] If you are on a budget, the benefits of checking the “sale rail” should go without saying! Brassières in unusual sizes, particularly those with larger cups, often end up heavily reduced and are ideal for a brassièred husband who has much less need for a perfect fit.

What size bra should he wear?

Finding a properly fitting brassière is something that is sadly all too difficult for many women, as you may well know from personal experience - it can be nigh on impossible to find one that provides just the right kind of support whilst still remaining comfortable even during prolonged wear. By far the best way of doing so is to seek the help of a professional bra fitter, but failing that, it is possible to use a tape measure to get a rough idea as to your size, which can then be used as a starting point for an interminable process of trial and error, hopefully concluding in something at least reasonably acceptable. Given the difficulties involved, it is not surprising that studies show up to ninety percent of woman are wearing brassières that are the wrong size!

Further problems are present when trying to determine a man's bra size - putting aside the improbable idea of persuading a newly brassièred husband to go for a bra fitting, something that is best left in the realms of fantasy, the traditional method of measurement3 tends not to be particularly effective against the male physique. Unless the man in question has sufficient body fat to give him quite significant breasts of his own, or has an unusually narrow chest, his natural cup size will be too small in comparison to his band width to allow you to find brassières in his “correct” size - there simply aren't enough women of similar dimensions to warrant their manufacture, nor, sadly, is there much of a market for bras for men that aren't suffering from gynecomastia.

Fortunately, as far as brassière discipline is concerned, there is no need for a man's bra to follow the natural curve of his body - unlike a brassière worn by a woman, its purpose is not to provide physical support, but rather control of a different kind, and thus his breasts need not even begin to fill its cups. It is merely sufficient to ensure the band is of approximately the right size such that the bra fits snugly around his chest, being neither too tight nor too loose - ideally its elastic should stretch slightly when worn, to help keep it in place and remind the wearer of its presence, but not so much as to cause undue discomfort. A reasonable rule of thumb for determining the bra size of a flat chested man is to measure around his chest, adding between six and eight inches to the result to give his approximate band width. If you do not wish to arouse your husband's suspicions with your measuring tape, perhaps because you have yet to brassière him, an alternative is simply to match his shirt size - look for a label inside that reads “fits chest up to”, and choose a band width that is an inch or so smaller. His cup size is then entirely at your discretion - unlike a woman, there is no reason why a man need always wear a bra of the same size, leaving you free to choose. A modest size may be more appropriate for an everyday brassière whose empty cups must be hidden under clothing, whereas a punishment bra might warrant larger cups in order to accommodate enhanced breasts!

Let us illustrate these methods by considering my own husband. As you may see from the pictures scattered throughout this guide, he is a tall, slender man with a chest that is completely flat - it is difficult to imagine anyone less in need of wearing a bra for support. Following the traditional method of determining bra size reveals that his under and around bust measurements are almost identical at roughly thirty inches each, suggesting that his bra size should be 34AA. Not only is it difficult to find such small brassières for him, those that do exist tend to be uncomfortably tight - in practice, a 36A or a 36B is a much better fit, although he often finds himself wearing much larger cups! For reference, the labels inside his shirts read “to fit chest 35 - 37in” or “to fit chest upto 37in”.

Whilst the exact size of a bra depends quite unpredictably on its precise make and style, such that two claiming to be the same may actually be quite different, this is unlikely to affect a man who does not need the support such a garment provides, however much it may infuriate a woman searching for the perfect fit. Because brassières for men need only be approximately the right size, it shouldn't take more than a couple of purchases before you have a good idea as to which is most appropriate for your husband. It doesn't matter too much if you don't get things exactly right first time - provided the size isn't completely wrong, there is no reason why your husband can't wear the brassière in question regardless. If it is a little tighter than he might prefer, the discomfort will serve to remind him of its presence; if it is a little looser, he is unlikely to complain! Over time, you'll find that buying bras for him becomes second nature - sadly, many women find doing so to be easier than shopping for themselves.

[3] For completeness, the method is as follows:(a) Measure around the body directly under the bust, rounding to the closest whole inch. Add four inches if this figure is even, and five if it is odd. The result is the band size.(b) Measure around the body at the fullest part of the bust. Subtract the band size from this measurement, and use the difference to determine the cup size: 0” - 0.5” AA, 0.5” - 1” A, 2” B, 3” C, 4” D, 5” E (DD), 6” F, etc.

What kind of bra should he wear?

From push-up bras that make the bust more prominent to minimiser bras that do the reverse, a bewildering array of different styles of brassière is available, each tailored to meet the needs of women in a particular situation. Practically any of them may be used to discipline your husband, for it is the very presence of such a feminine garment that gives a brassière its unrivalled power rather than any specific aspect of a particular type or style. Nevertheless, just as a woman may find that certain kinds of brassière are more appropriate for given circumstances than others - a strapless bra under an evening gown, for instance, a sports bra for exercise, rather than the reverse - so too are some better suited than others for use in brassière discipline.

When considering a particular bra for your husband, it is all too easy to look at its merits from a female perspective, as though a woman would be wearing it with her distinctly feminine needs of support, comfort and sexiness - after all, that is what brassières are designed for! As difficult as it may be, it is necessary to put such considerations to one side when shopping for your husband, and approach the matter from a rather different position, namely: what features of a brassière make it particularly effective for discipline? Such a bra need not provide support, for instance, as most men simply don't have the breasts to require it. Nor need it be particularly comfortable - so long as it can be worn for a reasonable length of time, a little discomfort will merely serve to remind the wearer of its presence. Instead, it should be easy to hide under clothing, without any lumps or bumps that might give it away, unless it is intended as a punishment brassière, in which case it should be so pronounced as to be impossible to ignore.

Let us look at various styles of brassière in this new light:

Figure 3.1: a) a longline brassière; b) a basque. Note how the style of the longline bra is more old-fashioned than that of the far sexier basque - regardless of this difference, both work admirably well for the purposes of brassière discipline.

Many bras emphasize their quintessentially feminine nature by means of sensuous materials such as satin or silk, not to mention delicate decorative details such as lace, bows and frills, fabrics and features that are simply not found on men's clothing. An excessively pretty, girly style makes a particularly good choice for your husband's first bra, reinforcing the vast difference between men's underwear and women's lingerie, and thus the significance of him wearing the latter. Nevertheless, a plain cotton brassière can be just as effective as a disciplinary tool, and may be more appropriate for everyday wear, being slightly easier to hide under clothing. Having to wear a very plain bra works particularly well with crossdressers, who might actually enjoy wearing an excessively feminine alternative!

Finally, some consideration should be given to the colour of your husband's brassières. Although the vast majority of bras worn by women are white, with a significant proportion of the remainder being black, there is actually a far wider variety of colours to choose from if you are prepared to look, ranging from pretty pastels through to stronger, more vibrant colours. It does no harm for your husband to have some variety in his lingerie drawer, so why not consider having him wear:

Obviously, your choice of colour, style and size will be influenced by the particular circumstances in which your husband will be wearing the brassière in question. In the next chapter, we'll look at the factors that make some bras better suited than others to being worn in public, whereas later we'll consider choosing a brassière for the purposes of punishment.