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en français, Fifi!

leçons 22 à 28 - lessons 22 to 28

en français, Fifi! is a course in basic French for the submissive crossdresser. It is intended to give the student an understanding of the language sufficient to permit him to perform the functions of a maid or secretary without any need to resort to English. Putting a solid emphasis on grammar, this textbook for sissies teaches all the vocabulary that a feminized servant or subordinate should know, using exaggerated examples that will prove as memorable as they are provocative. The would-be speaker will find himself immersed in a world where men wear bras and chastity belts as they seek to please their female superiors with selfless submission, forever fearing shameful punishment.

en français, Fifi! features themes of lingerie discipline, male chastity and men as maids. It should go without saying that, like everything else at brassièred, it is intended for adults only.

leçon 22: la maîtresse punit sa bonne - the mistress punishes her maid

Picture the scene - a maid putting his panties on display as he bends forward and tries to touch his toes, conscious that their thin satin will do little to lessen the impending blows of his mistress's hairbrush against his behind. By now, you should be more than capable of describing what's happening in French, perhaps putting together a sentence like the following:

Moreover, you know how to replace the subject of the sentence with a pronoun:

Suppose, however, you wanted to replace the object instead. In English, you wouldn't say “The mistress punishes he for his mistakes” unless you wanted to suffer yourself, a subject pronoun not a suitable substitute here. Nor would you want to have to say “her maid” each time, as submissive as it might be to acknowledge yourself as such, with that sort of affectation swiftly losing its novelty. Instead, an object pronoun is called for - “him” in English, allowing you to explain the situation further without sounding unnatural. “The maid was disobedient. His mistress warned him. He continued to ignore her. She punished him for his mistake. He thanked her for his punishment”. Did you spot which words were subject pronouns, object pronouns and possessive pronouns? Study those sentences carefully, and understand the differences between them.

French also distinguishes between subject and object pronouns, but makes things more complicated by the latter needing to go before the verb. For example:

Don't make the mistake of trying to read le as “the” here. The context makes it clear that this cannot be the case, as “the punishes” makes no sense. There can only be one person being punished when a mistress and maid are involved, no matter what sort of chastisement the former might choose.

Like other pronouns, object pronouns must agree with the noun they're replacing in terms of gender and number. Moreover, several of them contract when followed by a verb that starts with a vowel, similar to de, je and ne:

Study the following examples to see how object pronouns are used in practice:

Let's return to our earlier story, and see how it works in French:

How much easier that is to follow thanks to object pronouns! But how much easier it would be had the maid not been disobedient, and so not required his mistress's discipline! Note how, when he is thanking her for his punishment, the past participle of remercier acquires an extra “e” to agree with the object pronoun. If the misbehaving maid was obliged to thank his mistress's friends after they had each taken turns with the paddle, the sentence would be as follows:

Are you similarly grateful? Acknowledge your mistress's authority by saying:

If you were to use the less formal form of “you” in the last sentence, you would get Je t'aime, a familiar phrase that might earn you favour should you be permitted to please your mistress in the bedroom. Whisper it softly in her ear before you begin to worship her body, remembering that these romantic words are still subject to the rules of French grammar - as you now know!

exercices pour la vingt-deuxième leçon - exercises for the twenty second lesson

Translate the following:

1. Ils les attendaient

2. Sa patronne le menace

3. J'aime la servir comme une bonne

4. Le secrétaire l'a entendue et a répondu immédiatement

5. Vous me punissez quand je suis désobéissant, Madame

Say the following in French:

1. She was punishing him with her hairbrush

2. We looked at him and he looked at us

3. His mistress corseted him, then she penetrated him

4. Women harass him because he wears a bra

5. The size of those cups frightens me, Ma'am

leçon 23: s'habiller comme une bonne - dressing as a maid

In the previous lesson, you learned how to use object pronouns. Knowing that habiller (-er) means “to dress”, you can now make sense of a sentence such as:

While it's fun to play dress-up from time to time, a mistress doesn't want to have to dress her maid every time she wants the chores doing - she expects her servant to present himself for duty appropriately attired all by himself, regardless of whether he wears a silly, frilly little number to amuse her and her friends or a much more mundane uniform for the humdrum chores he has to tackle. A more suitable sentence might therefore be:

Here the subject and the object of the sentence are the same - you! Indeed, in English, it isn't necessary to specify “myself”, with the meaning remaining the same even if that word is omitted. There can only be one thing you're dressing if you don't specify a different object, with “I dress as a maid” telling everyone who cares to listen that you don an apron to do the housework! The verb can be said to be “reflexive”, because in the absence of an object, the action reflects back on the subject - like looking in a mirror as you put on a frilly pinafore.

French also has reflexive verbs, but their forms start with an indication of their nature in a manner that is similar to the object pronouns you've already seen. Indeed, the previous example is actually using one - s'habiller (“to dress (oneself)”), whose second half conjugates the same as habiller, but has an extra prefix (a reflexive pronoun) that needs to match the subject. Here are some sentences that illustrate its present tense:

If you're being as observant as you should be, you'll note that the il, elle, ils and elles forms do not start with l', as you might have expected, but rather s'. That makes it possible to distinguish Elle s'habille (“she dresses (herself)”) from Elle l'habille (“she dress him”) - an important difference if you're not to misspeak about what your mistress is doing with that corset or bra! Don't be tempted to miss out the pronoun entirely - whereas you can get away with this in English, in French it can make the difference between “to lie down” (s'allonger, -ger) and “to lengthen” (allonger, -ger)!

Because habille starts with a silent “h”, the reflexive pronouns shown above are contracted. Were this not the case, all but the nous and vous reflexive pronouns would end with an “e”. Let's see how that works with se préparer (“to get ready”, -er):

Now we can understand one of the first things you learned to say in French:

Appeler is “to call (for, to)”, but s'appeler is “to call (oneself)”. How would you distinguish between “He's called Fifi” and “He calls him Fifi”?

When speaking of past events using le passé composé, reflexive verbs use a form of être rather than avoir as their auxiliary, with the reflexive pronoun coming first. In addition, the past participle must agree with verb's subject in terms of gender and number. For example, with se décider (“to make up one's mind”, a more emphatic form of décider, “to decide”, -er):

If you're wondering why the negatives in ne pas faire and ne jamais faire do not sandwich the verbs, that's because faire is an infinitive - another little quirk that you'll need to know in order to be fluent in French! Your mistress might tell you Je préfère ne pas porter de soutien-gorge - the prerogative of the lady of the house, but not a humble maid who must be brassièred no matter how much you might prefer to go without such a garment!

Fortunately, l'imparfait follows the same simple rules you learned earlier:

Last, but by no means least, if the infinitive of a reflexive verb follows another verb, then the reflexive pronoun must agree with the subject:

In dictionaries, however, you will always find reflexive verbs start with se or s'.

exercices pour la vingt-troisième leçon - exercises for the twenty third lesson

Translate the following:

1. Elle s'est habillée

2. Elles s'habillaient

3. Nous nous appelons Madame Masters et Fifi la soubrette française

4. Tu t'es préparé pour faire des courses

5. Sa copine l'habille et il l'habille

Say the following in French:

1. I'm getting dressed for work, Ma'am

2. He makes up his mind to always please his wife

3. We prepared to make love

4. When he dresses as a woman, his name is Suzette

5. I decided to dress as a (female) secretary

leçon 24: les bonnes bonnes s'excusent toujours - good maids always apologise

As a maid, you may occasionally be required to explain yourself to your mistress, whether as a result of your shortcomings, or simply to entertain her. Often that needs a reflexive verb, and so you'll need to become comfortable with sentences that start Je me. What story could you paint with the following? Be sure to use past and present tenses appropriately!

Despite their additional pronouns, these verbs are no different to regular ones when it comes to negation, being sandwiched by the two haves of a negative just as you might expect:

Nor must good maids allow themselves to become any of the following:

With the vous form of a reflexive verb, you can speak of what mistress does - respectfully, of course!

There are many reflexive verbs that you could use about either yourself or your mistress, albeit in different ways. How might you use Je me and Vous vous for each of the following? What other words do you need to suitably describe your subordinate status, or else to show your mistress's superiority?

There are also the reflexive forms of three verbs you've already learned:

Have a look at these examples to get a feel for reflexive pronouns:

Remember, the passé composé tense of reflexive verbs requires a form of être, and the past participle must agree with the subject. Study the following until you understand, and compose your own sentences accordingly.

exercices pour la vingt-quatrième leçon - exercises for the twenty fourth lesson

Translate the following:

1. Ils se changent pour la fête et s'habillent en soubrettes

2. Il s'excusait mais elle s'ennuyait

3. Les femmes s'amusent à le promener

4. Elle s'amuse pendant que son mari frotte la baignoire

5. La bonne se déshabille mais n'enlève pas son soutien-gorge

Say the following in French:

1. His mistress lies down

2. The submissive man undresses for his punishment

3. He woke up and dressed as a maid

4. The businesswoman was angry with her secretary (use a reflexive verb in the imperfect)

5. I never get tired of cleaning toilets

leçon 25: le maquillage - make-up

Are you expected to make your face look less manly as a matter of course, or can you only dream of doing more than dusting the cosmetics on your mistress's vanity table? Perhaps you're permitted to wear a little lipstick for special occasions, showing your submission with lips painted a provocative red, or maybe you must practise your skills on your own nails before treating your mistress to a manicure. Whether you're need to go out shopping for the latest shades, or simply want to describe how she looks so divine, you need to know the necessary vocabulary, so let's turn our attention to powder and paint!

As you might expect, many of the verbs associated with a woman making herself look her best are reflexive. How might you describe your own make-up routine?

Did you note how les was used where you might have expected ses? In French, the definite article is generally used when referring to parts of someone's own body, with possessive adjectives reserved for emphasis unless another person else is involved. In the former case, using a reflexive verb helps indicate ownership. Thus, you might say Je me brosse les cheveux (“I brush my hair”, with cheveux being plural when speaking of more than just a single hair), but Je brosse ses cheveux (“I brush her hair”) if you have the privilege of helping your mistress prepare herself for a party. Ta maîtresse a les cheveux blonds, bruns, roux, noirs ou blancs? Ils sont longs ou courts? Et tes cheveux?

Just as in English, French cosmetics often have fanciful names for their colours. Is it enough to be able to say just rouge or rose, or ought a sissy who loves lipstick be able to go into much more detail when women ask you what you're wearing? Studying cosmetics will teach you adjectives such as ardent(e) (“blazing”) and fumé(e) (“smoked”) which you may never use elsewhere, but how emasculating it would be to speak of such subtleties with lips shaded so womanly! Of course, knowing how to say épais (“thick”) or forte (“strong”) may come in useful for more than just your mascara and eyeshadow, but who'll really listen to what you're saying when they're looking at those heavy black lashes?

les yeux - the eyes

les sourcils - the eyebrows

les joues et la peau - the cheeks and the skin

le bouche - the mouth

les ongles - the nails

les cheveux - the hair

différentes façons d'être maquillé - different ways to be made up

Does your mistress like you to be made up “like a stolen car” so that her friends will laugh at how ludicrous your face looks, or is that a peril to be avoided on pain of punishment? Rather than require such a provocative idiom, a more modest approach to make-up may be preferable - something that, like your vocabulary, requires practice, practice, practice in order to be mastered.

devant le miroir de maquillage - in front of the make-up mirror

exercices pour la vingt-cinquième leçon - exercises for the twenty fifth lesson

Translate the following:

1. Elle s'est brossée les cheveux

2. La femmelette a peint ses ongles

3. Il utilise la crème à raser de sa femme

4. Les soubrettes portaient de grandes perruques roses

5. Le fard à paupières de l'homme est assorti à son rouge à lèvres

Say the following in French:

1. She uses a powder puff to put on powder

2. I love to wear red lipstick

3. I shave my legs before putting on stockings

4. His boss was wearing black eye-shadow

5. His nails are bright pink, but he does not have any nail polish remover

leçon 26: que doit faire une bonne ? - what should a maid do?

By now, you should be familiar with quite a few irregular verbs. Unfortunately for a maid who has to be fluent in French, these don't stop at just avoir and être, there being many more that you must know how to conjugate. Indeed, in order to translate the previous sentence, you would need to use one twice - devoir, which depending on context can mean “must” or “have to”. There are many things that you must do as a maid, and equally many that you must not, making a knowledge of this irregular verb vital for success.

Let's start by considering its present tense. Study the following examples:

Did you notice how devoir sometimes indicates an obligation, for example, having to wear a bra, but on other occasions is more of a supposition, as in the case of the mistress's tired feet? A maid would hardly attempt to impose aching soles upon the woman he serves, the reverse being far more likely the case, but any man who has spent hours in high heels will surely be able to empathise with a woman wanting to slip off her shoes! The English word “must” can be used in both ways too, but devoir can also express an expectation (“is supposed to”), or alternatively suggest an inevitability (“is bound to”), yet another sense appropriate for your obedience. You are not only supposed to do everything your mistress says, but you owe it to her - indeed, you are bound to obey because you are her maid.

The past participle of devoir is dû, with the passé composé being a most appropriate way to refer to punishments. Consider the following example, and then describe past obligations of your own - things that you may not have enjoyed at the time, but were an inevitable consequence of displeasing your mistress.

As usual, the imparfait past tense only requires you to know the nous form of devoir, from which you can construct the necessary forms:

To speak of something you mustn't do, simply put devoir in the negative:

que dois-tu savoir ? - what must you know?

Another essential irregular verb is savoir, “to know”. When followed by the infinitive form of another verb, it means to know how to do something, allowing you to announce your abilities. Alternatively, it can be followed by a fact - perhaps that you are merely a maid and that you must obey your mistress, as obvious as that is when you're wearing an apron and dress. In this second form, the word que (which contracts to qu') is often used the same way that “that” would be in English, distinguishing the start of the sentence from the subordinate clause that follows. There are also a variety of French idioms that use savoir, and it has even made it into the English language in the form of the phrase je ne sais quoi (literally “I don't know what”) to describe an elusive, but often pleasing quality.

The past participle of savoir is su:

Obviously, it is possible to use savoir together with devoir:

What must you know how to do? Use Je dois savoir to remind yourself of your mistress's expectations of you, from the chores you must complete for her to the uniform that you must wear while you work. Is conjuguer les verbes irréguliers (“conjugating irregular verbs”, conjuguer, -er) on your list? It should be!

qu'est-ce que tu connais ? - what do you know?

Don't think that savoir covers everything you might know, however. There's a second irregular verb, connaître, which also means “to know”, but is used differently. Whereas savoir can be followed by another verb or a clause, connaître must be followed by a direct object - that is, a person, a place or a thing. If you're speaking of knowing your bra size, connaître would be the right choice, as it would for telling your mistress that you know the shop where she wants you to buy a new one. You'd even use connaître to say that you know the friend of hers that works there, as embarrassing as that would be!

When speaking of information you know, or something you've memorised, you can use either savoir or connaître, but it's always safe to use the latter when there's no verb that follows. Let's see how connaître is conjugated:

The past participle of connaître is connu:

Of course, there are things you must know too, however discreetly:

This same pattern applies to other verbs that end in -aître, should you ever need to speak of appearing (apparaître) or disappearing (disparaître), recognising (reconnaître) or even disregarding (méconnaître) - the latter something that your mistress is perfectly entitled to do when it comes to you and your efforts, no matter how hard you might work! You don't think you deserve her attention, do you?

exercices pour la vingt-sixième leçon - exercises for the twenty sixth lesson

Translate the following:

1. Il doit lacer son corset très serré

2. L'homme sait se raser les jambes comme une femme

3. Tu dois savoir le sucer !

4. Sa femme connaît le gaine-combinaison qu'il déteste le plus

5. Il pleut et donc la bonne doit porter un imperméable

Say the following in French:

1. The maid must clean the toilet

2. I know how to wash my wife's blouses

3. She knows the colour of the man's panties

4. Men must know how to do the ironing

5. The women must punish their lazy secretary

leçon 27: pourquoi dois-tu porter un soutien-gorge ? - why must you wear a bra?

It can be difficult to explain that you love to be a maid, especially to women who struggle to understand why anyone would ever want to do the cleaning, let alone don an exaggerated uniform to scrub toilets and floors. Yet there can be no denying your position when you're seen wearing a frilly apron and dress, an explanation surely required once your mistress's friends have stopped laughing. You already know how to use aimer and adorer to assert your passion for housework, as well as to announce your love of feminine clothing, but is that really the most shameful thing you could say? Wouldn't it be worse to hate every aspect of serving your mistress, yet have no choice because of the control she wields over you? Many sissies fantasise about finding themselves stuck in a such provocative predicament, and so it's only right you should know how to paint a picture of being helpless, even if just as make-believe.

obliger is a regular -er verb that means “to compel” or “to require”, and thus can be used in combination with an object pronoun to suggest that you're made to do the things that you secretly love:

elle me contraint ! - she makes me!

contraindre has a similar meaning, but is an irregular -re verb. Like you learned with mettre, many irregular verbs fall into groups, with contraindre sharing the same conjugation as a number of other verbs that end in -aindre, -eindre or -oindre. Might you be afraid (craindre) or whine (geindre) about donning a corset that will restrict (restreindre) your movements as you paint (peindre) your nails? Your mistress might pity (plaindre) you when you complain (se plaindre), but she has many ways to compel you - not least another verb in the same group, with astreindre also meaning “to force” or “to compel”. Of course, it would be easier to use forcer (-er), but sometimes, a sissy has little choice, so in this lesson, you're going to use these less common and more difficult verbs - like it or not!

Let's use peindre as an example, and imagine a manicure party - one where we'll avoid using the reflexive, but place special emphasis on everyone's nails to make explaining the conjugation easier. No-one will be going home without hands that catch the eye, including the submissive husbands who are having to serve as subjects for their wives! With these verbs, the -dre is dropped, but the plural forms acquire an extra “g” before the final “n”, as follows:

The past participle of peindre is peint:

Even if you're allowed the privilege of wearing nail polish, as a maid, you must never forget your place, unless you want your mistress to remind you:

Note that, like obliger, contraindre and astreindre require an à before the following infinitive. This is similar to how some verbs in English require an additional “to”, whereas others don't - for instance, “his wife orders him to wear a bra”, but “she makes him wear panties”. If you swap the “to” between those sentences, they'll both sound very strange! Be sure to pay attention to the presence or absence of French prepositions as well!

Returning to our original sentences:

Practise conjugating the following verbs until you know their pattern.

elle me fait porter un soutien-gorge encore une fois - she makes me wear a bra once again

As if your mistress didn't have enough ways to make you do what she wants, it's possible to use faire to mean “to make someone do something”. This is known as the causative construction, because it describes a situation where the subject causes something to happen, rather than performing it themselves. After all, when your mistress makes you clean the floor, it's not her who ends up having to get down with a bucket and brush - as befits the lady of the house, she gets to sit back and relax while you slave away on her behalf!

Let's put such a situation into words:

Here, the mistress is still the subject of the sentence - she is still in charge! Both the floor and the maid can be considered objects, however, each subject to her whim in their own way. To distinguish between them, we can consider the floor to be the “receiver” (it is being cleaned), and the maid to be the “agent” (he is doing the cleaning). In the above sentence, all three are present, and if you try to translate it word by word, you'll discover the meaning to be more along the lines of “she makes the floor to wash by her maid”, something that becomes even more obvious when the agent is dropped:

Does it matter who washes the floor, so long as your mistress doesn't need to lift a finger to see it sparkle? No matter how much time you might spend on your hands and knees, your work as a maid is barely worth a mention - unless you fail to make an effort, in which case, you'll surely be punished for it! Perhaps, however, your mistress wants to turn the spotlight on you, emphasising how you have to perform the most menial of chores for her. Exactly the same sentence structure may be used when there's an agent, but no receiver:

Context usually makes it clear what is meant - maids can kneel, but floors can't wash themselves, which is why the former is necessary! Suppose your mistress doesn't care to mention the floor, however. You already know how to replace a noun with an object pronoun, turning plancher into a le that in this case needs to precede fait as well as laver:

Again, we can omit mention of the maid by dropping the last few words:

although that's an ambiguous sentence which could equally mean “she has him wash” - perhaps just as necessary if the maid in question has got himself dirty by grovelling around on the floor! Where a sentence has only a receiver or an agent, then either can be replaced by object pronouns of the sort we've seen so far. If a sentence has both, however, then matters become a little more complicated.

So far you've used “direct object pronouns”, so called because they replace direct objects - the people, places or things that receive the action of the verb. In the case of a causative construct with both a receiver and an agent, that only applies to the former, with the maid who scrubs the floor on his mistress's behalf requiring a different sort of pronoun to replace him - an “indirect object pronoun”, because he is considered to be an indirect object. Indirect objects are those that follow prepositions such as à (“to”), pour (“for”) or par (“by”), and can be found by asking questions that use those same prepositions, i.e. “to whom?”, “for whom?” or “by whom?”.

Here, lui is an indirect object pronoun meaning “him”. It happens that direct and indirect pronouns are only different in the third persons singular and plural, such that you need only learn a couple of new words in order to use this second sort:

Nevertheless, that's enough to distinguish between the two in our example:

Rather than getting too caught up in scrubbing floors, however, let's return once again to where we started this lesson, and consider how you might confess to being compelled to submit to your superior's wishes, this time using faire:

If the preceding grammar is too much for the moment, simply memorise me fait as something that comes after your mistress but before what she makes you do, remembering to use the “to” form of whatever verb that follows. You'll surely amuse any woman who happens to hear you make such humiliating admissions, but perhaps you're not the only man to find himself trapped in such a provocative predicament:

Use obliger, contraindre and faire to describe these brassièred businessmen in other ways. It's unlikely that struggling to hide straps under their shirts is all they have to do, considering how their wives surely take charge, providing plenty of room for practice!

exercices pour la vingt-septième leçon - exercises for the twenty seventh lesson

Translate the following:

1. Elle fait faire du café à son secrétaire

2. Sa femme l'oblige à faire tout le ménage en tablier à froufrous

3. Elle ne plaint pas sa bonne quand il se plaint, elle le punit

4. Les bonnes geignent parce que leurs maîtresses leur font montrer leur culotte

5. Ma femme m'a fait porter des bas et un porte-jarretelles tout l'hiver

Say the following in French:

1. My mistress makes (faire) me wash and iron her blouses

2. She was making (obliger) him wear pink panties

3. We make (astreindre) our husbands do the dishes

4. His boss made (contraindre) him kneel while she scolded him

5. I must not complain when you make (faire) me hang out the washing

leçon 28: il lui demande de lui faire porter un soutien-gorge - he asks her to make him wear a bra

In the previous lesson, you learned how the causative construct requires the use of indirect object pronouns if you want to say something like “she makes him wash the floor”, “him” needing to be lui rather than le if it's the floor, rather than the maid, that's being washed. Such pleasing statements of a servant's submission aren't the only place where these pronouns are to be found, however, with some verbs requiring their use even in the absence of a direct object. Consider, for instance, the lady of the house chatting:

If the women in question have already been introduced, then you might say:

By now, you ought to be very familiar with obéir (“to obey”), a verb that we've already seen must be followed by an à, as in a female-led office:

Because of the à, an indirect object pronoun must be used if you do not want to speak explicitly of the man's superior when declaring his obedience:

There are also verbs that can have both a direct and indirect object. Suppose a woman is in a generous mood, and wishes to reward her maid for his work:

In this situation, it is the corset that is being bought, not the maid, making the latter an indirect object. The servant who'll soon find himself splendidly cinched should thus be replaced with lui rather than le, just as he might were he being made to wear the foundation garment in question:

Perhaps, however, the lady of the house is less pleased with her domestic's efforts. She might still want to give (donner) him something, something that'll he'll remember for the rest of the day, but not something he'll enjoy:

Using an indirect pronoun, we can shorten this sentence. If only the misbehaving maid's time over his mistress's knee might be reduced accordingly, but then he wouldn't learn from his mistakes, would he?

Other verbs that use indirect object pronouns in this way include:

In the absence of a pronoun, all would ordinarily be followed by an à. For each of the following examples, replace the indirect object pronoun with a suitable noun, remembering to rearrange the order of the words as well.

In negative sentences, both direct and indirect object pronouns come between the ne and the first part of the verb, as in the following examples:

elle lui dit de sourire pour la caméra - she tells him to smile for the camera

What do being told (dire) to do something and being forbidden (interdire) to do something have in common? Aside from your need to obey, the answer is very straightforward - both are irregular verbs that follow the same pattern, along with the likes of redire (“to say again”), contredire (“to contradict”) and se dédire (“to go back on one's word”) - not that a maid should ever do either of those last two! In fact, once you know how to conjugate any member of this group, you can do so with a whole host of verbs not only ending in -dire, but -fire, -lire or -uire as well. Let's see how that works with dire, which can be used for both “to say” and “to tell”:

By now, you should have no trouble understanding the rule - the final -re is dropped, with -s, -t, -sons or -sent being added, depending on the subject. But what if you want to speak about what your mistress says, or indeed, what she tells you to do? It's no accident that we've omitted the vous form of dire, because dire, along with its derivative redire is even more irregular. For interdire, contredire and all other members of this group, one would add -isez, but for dire and redire, -tes is required:

Which would you prefer? Might you think differently if you had to go about your duties burdened by an impractically large bust? Regardless of your mistress's preference, it's more likely that you'll speak of it in the past tense, with the past participle merely requiring the -re of the verb to be replaced by -t:

Whether you're allowed the assistance of a bra or not, you're sure to make anyone seeing you smile (sourire) or even laugh (rire) should you have to serve your mistress wearing a pair of ponderous silicone breasts. These two verbs form a group all of their own, leaving you no choice but to learn their conjunctions, just as you would have to endure the endless wobble that no amount of fabric can completely suppress. How humiliated you would feel should your chest be the cause of hilarity among your mistress's friends - perhaps it would be better to be flat, even if she makes you wear a bra nonetheless?

Do your breasts bounce (rebondir, -ir) because you need a better bra? Does everyone smile and then laugh at how wildly they wobble as you walk? There are worse things than wearing a sturdy bra, n'est-ce pas ?

une bonne plaît à sa maîtresse - a maid is pleasing to his mistress

As a maid, you know that you must always please your mistress. To speak of that in French, you might use faire plaisir (literally “to do pleasure”), or else satisfaire (“to satisfy”), which also conjugates like faire. Of course, there are occasions where you should ask permission first, a polite s'il vous plaît, Madame the least you should say before turning your tongue to more intimate matters. Don't be fooled by how plaît seems to mean “please”, however, because the verb it derives from, plaire, has a slightly different meaning, as does its opposite, déplaire. Rather than “to please”, it's best to think of plaire as “to be pleasing”, with déplaire being “to be displeasing”. Both are irregular, but in a different way to faire:

With an indirect object pronoun, you can say that you like something without putting undue stress on yourself, a manner of speech that your mistress may decide is amusing for you adopt, or simply use herself to humble you:

Because the form of plaire should agree with the subject of the sentence, which is the object being liked, you'll mostly use plaît and plaisent. Saying that you like someone (rather than something) in this way would suggest an attraction unbecoming of a maid, so reserve this form of words for lingerie, dresses and aprons! The past participle of plaire is plu, and that of déplaire is déplu, with the imperfect stems being plais- and déplais- respectively. Let's consider some less appreciative maids:

exercices pour la vingt-huitième leçon - exercises for the twenty eighth lesson

Translate the following:

1. Leurs femmes leur interdisent de regarder d'autres femmes

2. Sa maîtresse ne lui a pas permis de se déshabiller

3. Il lui a acheté des bijoux chers. Les bijoux chers lui plaisent

4. Elle lui parlait pendant qu'il travaillait

5. Sa patronne lui a demandé d'acheter de nouveaux bas

Say the following in French:

1. They never forgave him

2. His wife punishes him because he made a mistake

3. The businesswoman laughs at him, because she knows he is wearing a bra

4. The women do not permit them to speak. They forbid them to speak!

5. She gave him her panties and told him to wear them. His shame pleased her