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perfect English, Peaches!

Lessons 1 to 5

perfect English, Peaches! is a grammar course written specifically for the submissive crossdresser. The aim of this textbook for sissies is to give the student a greater understanding of the words he uses, thus helping him to avoid the mistakes that so often mar even the simplest pieces of writing. Employing exaggerated examples that are sure to appeal to any man with a weakness for women's things, the course not only encourages higher standards of language, but also emphasises respect for female authority throughout. The intentionally titillating scenarios do not detract from the text's purpose, however, with the misadventures of a submissive male secretary making the material more memorable.

perfect English, Peaches! features themes of lingerie discipline, male chastity and men as secretaries and maids. It should go without saying that, like everything else at brassièred, it is intended for adults only.

Lesson 1: Bosses and secretaries

Picture a scenario that could take place at any office. There's a woman in charge, and a man who is employed to assist her. Perhaps she's sitting behind a big desk, and he's standing nervously in front of it, waiting to be told what to do. Maybe she wants him to fetch a file or write down a memo. He might soon find himself having to using the photocopier on her behalf, if not the coffee machine - all tasks that will earn him little thanks from his boss, no matter how tedious or time-consuming they may be. Regardless of how the man makes himself useful, their interaction might be summarised as follows:

There are two different roles involved, and two contrasting actions, but the sentences nevertheless share the same structure. Let's consider another pair:

That's a very satisfying domestic arrangement - perhaps something for the man to look forward to when he's finished his work at the office! Beyond the harmonies of superior and subordinate, however, there's a deeper pattern in the words. What do “boss”, “secretary”, “maid” and “mistress” have in common? What about “directs”, “obeys”, “cleans” and “relaxes”? In each sentence, there's someone who does something, which we can refer to as the subject, and something they do, an action. The two parts are joined together in the same way, with the subject always coming first - even if we were to mix things up, for example, by making the secretary clean while the boss relaxes.

Whether we're describing a submissive man doing what he is told, or the woman sitting back while he scurries about, the subject of the sentence is a naming word, or noun, whereas the action is a doing word, or verb. Apart from an article, “the”, which we'll discuss shortly, that's all that's needed to make a complete sentence, but many sentences use another noun to indicate to whom or what the action is done - the object of the sentence. For example:

Where a verb takes an object like this, it is said to be transitive, Conversely, when the sentence has no such object, the verb is said to be intransitive. Many verbs can be used in either way, but some are restricted to one or the other. Consider the following entertaining encounter in the lingerie department:

If the first sentence stopped after the verb, there would remain the unanswered question of what the sissy is buying. “Buys” requires a second noun to satisfy our curiosity, of a different kind to the subject - it wouldn't make sense to say that “the bra buys the sissy”, however much the submissive man might feel such garments control him. Conversely, no matter how obviously the saleswoman might express her amusement at his embarrassing purchase, there is no noun that can be added to the second sentence - at least, not without another sort of word first. “The saleswoman smirks the sissy” is similarly nonsensical, making “smirk” a verb that can only be used intransitively. In this case, we hardly need to spell out whom she, and indeed, everyone else in the shop, is smirking at, with the sissy's blushes speaking of his shame at buying something more usually bought by women.

So far, all the nouns we've used have been very definite things. The sissy is buying a particular bra, rather than just any such garment - perhaps one of the sort that his boss has specified that he'll henceforth have to wear to work. Moreover, we're speaking about a particular sissy, as much as the man in question might long for someone else to take his place. To show this, we precede both nouns with the word “the”, which is known as the definite article. If we wanted to be less specific, we would use “a”, the indefinite article, instead:

In the first sentence, the hapless man is happy to leave the shop with anything in his hands. It could be white or black or pink with polka dots, but such details are not important - any bra will serve the purpose of making him feel less of a man, even if his mistress may be more particular! Contrast that with the second sentence, where the file is more definite than the secretary who fetches it. Perhaps a busy businesswoman has asked one of several temps to find the important paperwork she needs for her meeting, not caring which of them ends up bending over a filing cabinet so long as she gets what she wants - after all, any secretary can fetch a file! Although “the” and “a” might seem to be very simple words, the choice of article can make a significant difference to the meaning of a sentence, as becomes clear if their positions are swapped:

Now it is the bra that is of importance, with the precise identity of the sissy purchasing it of no concern to the saleswoman wondering who might ever wear something so large. Back in the office, the file is of little interest to the visitors watching the secretary bring it to his boss - indeed, it might never be opened, merely being used a pretext to have the man leave his desk. We need only change the verb to describe his sheepish trip back to the filing cabinet:

The definite article makes it clear what is being returned - the same file that the secretary fetched only a few moments before, even though it was left ambiguous when we spoke of it earlier. We don't need to know anything more to understand what is happening - the man is being made to perform a pointless errand for his boss's amusement, perhaps so that she can show her visitors how well he can walk in high heels. There's only one file involved - at least, for the moment - but it surely won't be long before he has to fetch another.

Suppose that the secretary's boss isn't interested in files, but rather envelopes, and so sends the sissy to the stationery cupboard for something suitable. Because “envelope” starts with a vowel sound, the indefinite article requires an extra “n”, in order to avoid one vowel sound following awkwardly after another. Consider how that works when the sissy's stiletto heels are tied together, reducing the submissive man to a very slow and humiliating shuffle:

From a grammatical perspective, all of these sentences can be split into two parts - the subject, which is a noun that is said to be in the nominative case, and the predicate, which is everything that follows. The predicate always includes a verb, with the simple predicate consisting solely of the action part of the sentence - a single word in all of these examples. The complete predicate extends that to include an object as well, the latter being a noun which is said to be in the objective case. Let's illustrate that by rejoining the sissy after he realises he's bought the wrong bra:

We can split that sentence into various parts:

The case of a noun reflects its relationship to the other words in the sentence - it is the sissy, in the nominative case, that is doing the returning, and the bra, in the objective case, that is being returned. Sissies must return bras if they do not pay adequate attention to the labels when buying them, whereas bras emasculate sissies, all the more so when they're a size too small! Do you see how, depending on the verb that joins them, both “sissy” and “bra” may be used in either case? With some words, the case can also affect their form, as you'll learn in the next lesson.

Exercises

1. Read the following account of a maid's misfortune in the course of his work. Copy out each sentence, underlining the nouns. For each one, write it out again, noting in brackets afterwards whether it is used in the nominative or the objective case.

   A maid washes the crockery.

   The maid drops a plate.

   The plate smashes.

   The mistress hears the noise.

   The mistress sighs.

   The maid fetches the paddle.

   The mistress punishes the maid.

   A woman watches the punishment.

   The woman laughs.

   The punishment teaches the maid.

2. Repeat the above exercise, but this time, underline the verbs. Write each one out again afterwards, indicating in brackets whether it is transitive or intransitive.

3. Repeat the above exercise again, underlining the articles. For each one, state, in brackets, whether it is definite or indefinite. Then write the sentences out again, replacing the definite articles with indefinite ones, and vice versa. Explain the difference that the change in articles makes.

4. For each of the previous sentences, write out the full sentence, the subject, the object, the simple predicate and the complete predicate, identifying each.

Exercises for extra credit

1. In your own words, explain the following terms:

   subject

   objective case

   transitive verb

   indefinite article

   simple predicate

   object

   nominative case

   intransitive verb

   definite article

   complete predicate

2. List as many nouns and verbs as you can think of that relate to sissies.

3. Using only nouns, verbs and articles, write an account of a sissy's adventures in a lingerie shop. Make an effort to use an equal number of transitive and intransitive verbs, as well as definite and indefinite articles.

Lesson 2: Frilly pink panties

Imagine an interview where there are two sissies, competing to become the secretary of a strict businesswoman. It's a sought-after position, and so both are dressed to impress, but they're very different despite wearing identical skirts and blouses. One is careful about what he says, always making sure to select the right word, whereas the other blurts out the first thing that comes to mind, without any concern for its correctness. How might the businesswoman tell Human Resources whom she wants to hire? She might employ a secretary's name in place of a noun, either as the subject or the object of a sentence:

The preposterous names of the sissies are examples of proper nouns, which may be contrasted with common nouns such as “job” and “businesswoman”. Proper nouns do not require an article, but they do need to start with a capital letter (a big “P” for Peaches), regardless of where they occur in a sentence. Conversely, common nouns should never be capitalised without good reason, with a sissy drawing undue attention to what he wears should he write about his Panties. Instead, a little “p” should be used for “panties”, as befits another little “p” that's stifled by the unmanly satin and lace - in the case of Peaches, a very little “p” indeed!

Proper nouns are not the only way the businesswoman might distinguish between the two potential secretaries, however - indeed, if she merely wants a temp to do her typing, she might not care to remember his name. Moreover, having to say “the secretary” every time would be a lot of work, let alone “Peaches Sweetcheeks”, and secretaries are supposed to spare their superiors work! Rather than renaming her subordinate to something more manageable, the businesswoman might use a pronoun - a small word that replaces a noun:

Despite their diminutive size, pronouns can be surprisingly tricky. That's because their form often depends on whether they take the place of the subject or the object of a sentence. In the examples above, the soon-to-be secretary is replaced by “he” and “him” respectively, even though it's the same man who'll soon find himself working under a woman. Let's put more sissies where they need to be, and consider the other pronouns in both nominative and objective cases:

Our businesswoman doesn't need to speak more than a single word to pick her secretary, perhaps merely pointing at one of the crossdressed candidates and dismissively declaring “Him!” - a personal pronoun, in keeping with the man's new role as her personal assistant. Suppose, however, there is something that appeals about a particular sissy, or else that the woman in charge finds off-putting. Rather than using his name, the businesswoman might indicate which man she means by using an adjective, a word that adds more detail to a noun:

In the above examples, the adjectives are found before the nouns they affect. The secretary who demonstrated the necessary selflessness goes on to put his signature on the formal paperwork, whereas the sissy who considered no-one but himself goes home with only a single, poorly photocopied sheet to show for his troubles. Adjectives can preface both subject and object nouns, describing such properties as size, colour and quality. Consider how much more exciting the following outfit is for employing these wonderfully expressive words:

Is that what Peaches Sweetcheeks has agreed to wear in exchange for the privilege of working as the businesswoman's secretary? He can't escape adjectives even when thinking about his demanding boss's strict attitude, but these aren't the only words he should consider when getting dressed for work. Just as adjectives affect nouns, adverbs may be used to modify the meaning of a verb. Consider the complementary roles of “reluctant” and “reluctantly” in the following descriptions of an impromptu panty inspection:

You should recognise “reluctant” as being an adjective in the first sentence, understanding how it describes the man who is ashamed to reveal his intimate attire. The scene is similar in the second sentence, but here it is not the man that is modified by the additional word. Instead, it is the way in which he lowers his skirt, the adverb “reluctantly” telling us that the sissy doesn't do so with any enthusiasm. How different the situation would be were he to reveal his panties submissively, if not eagerly, perhaps desperately hoping for a reward rather than anxiously bracing himself for his superior's sharp words. Let's develop the scene further, using adverbs to add detail to the actions:

Many adverbs have corresponding adjectives, such that we might describe Peaches as “the pathetic sissy” and Ms Crusher as “the disgusted woman”. Often, it is possible to convert between the two by adding or removing “ly” at the end, but this isn't always the case - we'll consider some special adverbs in a later lesson. Moreover, despite their name, adverbs don't only apply to verbs. Some can be used to modify adjectives, other adverbs, or even whole sentences:

Knowing that adverbs often end in “ly”, you should have spotted how “unfortunately” describes how Peaches feels about his boss having such an eagle eye, as well as how “extremely” speaks of the severity of his spanking. Did you also notice how “very” emphasises Ms Crusher's crossness, or do you need to go back and study the disgraced secretary's humiliating situation again? There are three further adverbs if you look closely, with “too”, “again” and “often” all affecting verbs. Each adds something to the picture being painted, as you'll see if you consider how the sentences are affected should these words be removed.

Exercises

1. Read the following account of a male secretary struggling with his stockings. Copy out each sentence, omitting the adjectives and adverbs. Then copy out each sentence twice more, first omitting only the adjectives, then only the adverbs. Finally, copy out the full sentences, underlining both adjectives and adverbs.

   The careless sissy stupidly snags a sheer stocking.

   The annoyed businesswoman immediately sees the unsightly ladder.

   She sharply demands a prompt replacement.

   He hurriedly dons new stockings.

   They always require great care!

   The flustered man foolishly forgets a garter.

   The furious businesswoman rebukes him very angrily.

   She also tells the other secretaries.

   They tease him especially cruelly.

   Unfortunately, he unwittingly encourages them.

2. Copy out the previous sentences again, but this time, underline the pronouns. For each one, state in brackets afterwards whether it is used in the nominative or objective case.

3. Using the other sentences as a guide, choose an adjective and a noun to take the place of each pronoun, and an appropriate pronoun for every noun. Rewrite the sentences using these words, following each with the original in brackets.

Exercises for extra credit

1. In your own words, explain the following terms:

   pronoun

   adjective

   common noun

   adverb

   proper noun

   personal pronoun

2. List as many adjectives and adverbs as you can think of. Use each one in a sentence to describe something that might happen in a female-led environment.

3. Return to the account that you wrote for the previous lesson, and add detail using adjectives and adverbs. Where it does not affect the clarity of your writing, replace common nouns with pronouns. Use proper nouns where suitable.

Lesson 3: A sissy's clothes

In the previous lesson, we saw how the sentence “he wears a black bra” uses both a pronoun and an adjective to convey a male secretary's submission, not that his superior needs to point out the presence of such an emasculating garment when it shows so clearly through the sissy's blouse. Suppose the businesswoman is discussing the matter of appropriate administrative attire with her peers, each of them having their own ideas about how best to humble an underling. To distinguish between different men, they might state whom each one works for:

The addition of an apostrophe and the letter “s” turns a common or proper noun into the possessive case - a word that behaves like an adjective, affecting the word that follows it by indicating possession. Would you rather work for Sally or Helen? Regardless of whether you found yourself having to constantly tug down your tight skirt in a futile attempt to cover your stocking tops, or else had to totter around the office on sky-high stilettos, there would be no doubt about whom you belonged to. A sissy should never be so casual with a woman's first name, however, even if she isn't his boss, instead needing to use her surname:

The same approach works for common nouns too:

There's only one skirt and one slip in the above example, but that's quite enough to challenge a man struggling to present himself professionally. If only his boss would allow him to wear something a little longer! Things get even trickier when there are more garments involved, with the question of whether or not to use an apostrophe posing its own problems when a sissy considers a wardrobe of womenswear. Which of the following will get him into trouble?

It all depends on whether he's describing the silky lining that belongs to a particular skirt, or the state of affairs as all his clothes suddenly decide to abandon their hangers and fall to the floor. In the first case, “skirt's” is a possessive because it has an apostrophe, such that “slip” is a noun, and “the skirt's slip” is the lining of the skirt, albeit no more than the start of a sentence in need of more words. In the second example, “skirts” is a plural, making “slip” a verb. Nothing more needs to be added, but we could nevertheless develop both scenes:

An apostrophe should never be used with a plural, unless that plural serves as a possessive. Where a plural ends with an “s”, there is generally no need for another. Study the following examples until you are sure you understand how this works:

Instead of turning nouns into possessives when speaking of the men who work underneath them, our busy businessmen might use possessive adjectives - words that act like adjectives, but follow the same pattern as pronouns:

Note how the same form is used in both the nominative and the objective case. Note also how possessive adjectives can be combined with regular adjectives, with the former always coming first - for example, “my lazy secretary” or “your shameful secret”. Are either of those phrases you'd want to hear your boss saying, perhaps in front of everyone else in the office?

Unlike possessives formed from nouns, there are no apostrophes in any of these possessive adjectives. Few sissies would be foolish enough to try to insert one before the “s” in “his”, but some are tempted to split the possessive “its”, even though the result looks just as ridiculous to an educated eye. That's because “it's” is a word in its own right, albeit one with a different meaning, the apostrophe indicating that it's a contraction of “it is”, or alternatively, “it has”. Similarly, the possessive adjectives “your” and “their” should not be confused with “you're” or “they're”, which mean “you are” and “they are” respectively. We'll explore this distinction further in a later lesson, but for now, consider the following statements about a bra:

There's one last category of words with which a busy businesswoman might spare herself the trouble of speaking about her secretary in too much detail, not only allowing her to assert her ownership of the submissive man in question, but also to avoid saying anything more about him. These are possessive pronouns, which, as their name suggests, replace a noun completely:

To understand what the women are talking about, you need to know the context of their remarks, although it's fairly obvious they're discussing how they punish their secretaries for poor performance, each having a preferred method for getting the best from a male subordinate. Can you see how the possessive pronouns are similar, but slightly different to the corresponding possessive adjectives? Despite this, none of them have apostrophes, even when they look as though an “s” has been added to another word. The same is true for the remaining cases, “its” and “his”, with the latter being much more frequently used:

A sales assistant wouldn't need to hear anything more to understand the situation as a sheepish man hands over the lacy lingerie he's having to pay for, with the woman accompanying him on a punitive shopping trip making clear that the unmanly underwear isn't for her - as if that weren't evident from its size! His face will be flushing with shame as he scurries away, whereas hers is likely to bear a smirk, perhaps shared by those wondering whether the skirts and blouses are his too. How emasculating for the sissy to have to admit “Yes, they're mine!” as his mistress makes him satisfy the women's curiosity!

Exercises

1. Read the following account of a male secretary reporting to his superiors. Copy out each sentence, underlining the nouns that are in the possessive case. For each one, follow it with its singular and plural forms in brackets.

   Every two weeks, one of the women's secretaries comes under their scrutiny.

   The nervous man knows that it's his turn to be assessed by them this time.

   The committee's leader tells the male secretary to close her office's door.

   “You're going to be ours until you've answered our questions”, she tells him.

   “My colleagues inform me that you've been ogling their chests”, she continues.

   The other members of the committee nod their heads.

   “All our bras are white, but yours is black”, one of the women observes.

   The sissy can't deny how its outline shows shamefully through his blouse.

   Obeying the chairwoman's instructions, he sheepishly undoes its buttons.

   His breasts look bigger than any of theirs, but his bra's cups are padded.

2. Copy out the previous sentences again, but this time, underline the possessive adjectives. Using the other sentences as a guide, choose an appropriate noun to replace it, accompanied by an article where appropriate. Rewrite the sentences using these words, following each with the original in brackets.

3. Repeat the above exercise, but this time, underline the possessive pronouns. Again, rewrite each sentence afterwards with an appropriate substitution.

4. Write down the singular and plural forms of every noun that occurs in the previous sentences, and follow it by its possessive form in both the singular and the plural. Order your list alphabetically.

Exercises for extra credit

1. In your own words, explain the following terms:

   possessive noun

   apostrophe

   possessive adjective

   plural noun

   possessive pronoun

2. Using your list of nouns and verbs that relate to sissies, construct sentences that use the nouns in the possessive case. Write each sentence out twice more, first using a possessive adjective, and then a possessive pronoun.

3. Write an essay detailing what belongs to whom in a female-led relationship.

Lesson 4: He buys himself stockings

As part of the very special secretarial contract he has signed, Peaches Sweetcheeks has agreed that he will always wear a bra in the office. It's what would be expected of any other assistant, with the fact that he's a man making no difference - even though it does! Although we might use adjectives and adverbs to describe his emasculation in detail, to really explore how he abandons his manhood each and every morning, another sort of word is called for. Consider what Peaches has to do when getting dressed:

The sentences start straightforwardly enough, having a subject, a verb and an object, but they don't end at whichever part of the bra might be occupying Peaches' attention at a particular moment - indeed, many of them would be incomplete if they did! Instead, a preposition allows another noun or pronoun to be added, giving us such delicious details as where the sissy keeps his bras, and what he uses to give himself a womanly bust. Prepositions aren't just limited to transitive verbs, however, with actions that wouldn't otherwise be followed by an object capable of taking one too. For example:

Oh dear! What has the sissy done to deserve a scolding? Perhaps he hasn't appreciated the full power of prepositions, which not only express ideas of time, place and movement, but can also convey other connections between words:

Might Ms Crusher insist that Peaches wear a particularly pointy bullet bra as a punishment for his poor performance? As amusing as that would be for everyone but the sissy having to present such eye-catching cones, it is unlikely to be his only underwear. Unless he's been so bad as to have to work naked, he'll be wearing panties and stockings as well, perhaps with a garter belt or girdle to hold the latter up. Although we could summarise such an emasculating ensemble with the single word “lingerie”, there are often occasions where everything should be spelled out - for instance, when Peaches self-consciously repeats his boss's humiliating requirements to an unhelpful shop assistant. When every word is an effort because of how he's blushing with embarrassment, he doesn't want to have to say “I need a bullet bra. I need control panties. I need fully fashioned stockings. I need a high waist girdle”, and so on, any more than he wants to waste the woman's time when she's already looking at him askance. Instead, it would be better for Peaches to use a conjunction - a word that connects two similar parts of a sentence. Consider the following:

Do you see how “and” joins two similar things in a way that's different to a preposition? Peaches' bullet bra and control panties share the same brightly coloured bag as he leaves the lingerie shop with a much lighter wallet, with two objects being turned into a single unit for the purpose of the verb. Similarly, the sissy's weekend is occupied by two related chores - first the washing of what he's worn, then the ironing, with the same blouses being the object of both verbs. As well as doing similar with adjectives or adverbs, conjunctions can also be used to connect clauses (a group of words that can act as a sentence, which we'll discuss in more detail in a later lesson), either to show a relationship of cause and effect, or else to illustrate a contrast.

“And” isn't the only word that can be used as a conjunction, however. Although a sissy's stockings must stay up, there's no need for more than one garment:

Let's go back to the lingerie shop, and consider one of the other customers. There's a woman flicking through the nightdresses, obvious wanting to buy a frilly babydoll, but yet to find the right size. Is she searching for something sexy with which to seduce her husband, or does she have other plans for the preposterous pink ruffles? We might explain the situation with a preposition:

Without the extra words, we might have no idea how this couple will be dressing up behind closed doors, but there's another way to suggest that he's a sissy:

The sentence still has two nouns, but now they're in a different order, and there's nothing in between them - not even the thin layer of floaty fabric that the woman will so sensuously slide her hands over later! Nevertheless, there's no doubt about what she is buying, nor whom she is buying it for - it would be ridiculous to think that she were buying her husband, however submissive he'll be once he's all dolled up. The frilly nightdress, with its ribbons and bows, remains the object of the verb, but to distinguish it from the man who'll find himself blushing in the bedroom, it may be referred to as the direct object - answering the question of what is being bought. Conversely, the woman's husband is the indirect object, satisfying our curiosity about whom such a feminine garment is being bought for. It's no coincidence that that's the same preposition that was used in the previous example, with the two forms being convertible. Let's take a look at some other examples in the same scene:

Depending on the objects used, one form may sound more natural than the other. Nevertheless, it's possible to rewrite each sentence to illustrate which object receives the action of the verb (the question that is asked, the alternatives that are offered, both direct objects), and which receives the other object (the sales assistant, the woman shopping, both indirect objects). Of course, we can add additional prepositions and conjunctions as well, perhaps to show how the lucky husband says thank you for the privilege of pampering her:

Verbs which take both a direct and an indirect object are said to be ditransitive, a word which is formed from “transitive” and the prefix “di”, meaning two or double, because they have two sorts of object. Some verbs can be either ditransitive (“he asks her question”), transitive (“he asks a question”) or even intransitive (“he asks”), depending on how they are used.

Exercises

1. Read the following account of a typical day in a female-led office. Copy out each sentence, underlining any prepositions. Then copy out the sentences again, omitting the prepositions and any associated nouns or pronouns.

   The sissy secretary wears a skirt and blouse to the office.

   His boss regularly assigns him typing exercises or lines for no reason.

   She spanks him with her hand or the paddle if he doesn't complete them.

   Peaches brings his boss and her visitor their coffee in the afternoon.

   The submissive man stands in the corner and waits.

   Ms Crusher gives him a look and tuts when she notices him behind her.

   He fetches the files for the women while they discuss business.

   The feminized man nervously reads them the summary of his work.

   The women laugh at him whenever he makes a mistake, but he somehow continues.

   The sissy often works late into the evening because his boss is demanding.

2. Copy out the previous sentences again, but this time, underline the conjunctions. State in brackets afterwards the sort of words each conjunction joins (e.g. nouns). Then rewrite the sentences to remove the conjunctions, doing so as many times as is necessary to capture all the previously connected parts.

3. Copy out the previous sentences a further time, underlining all the objects. After each one, write in brackets whether it is a direct or indirect object. For every sentence that contains an indirect object, rewrite it to use a preposition instead. Underline the preposition.

Exercises for extra credit

1. In your own words, explain the following terms:

   preposition

   conjugation

   direct object

   indirect object

   ditransitive verb

2. Using conjunctions, list as many pairs of nouns, verbs, adjective and adverbs as you can think of that related to sissies (e.g. “bra and panties”).

3. Write a short story in which a submissive man frequently finds himself humiliated as a result of being one of the objects of a ditransitive verb.

Lesson 5: Secretaries wear skirts

Peaches can't always rely on his desk's modesty panel to spare him his blushes, with his duties regularly requiring him to stand - perhaps to escort an important visitor from reception. How might he explain the tight fabric that stretches so taut as to show his panty line as he totters around on his stilettos? Wanting to show off his understanding of conjunctions, if not the tops of his stockings, the sissy secretary might answer the woman's inevitable question as follows:

Suppose, however, the emasculated man is too tongue-tied with embarrassment to be able to offer more than a whimper, leaving the visiting businesswoman having to look to his boss for an explanation. Ms Crusher might respond on his behalf:

What is different between these two sentences? Neither the sissy, nor his surrender to feminine attire is any less submissive, although his boss might express more scorn when speaking about it. Nevertheless, the point of view has changed, affecting not only the subject pronoun, but also the ending of the verb. When Peaches acknowledges his position as a skirt-wearing assistant, he does so in the first person, because he is talking about himself. If Ms Crusher were to have to remind him about what he has agreed to, she would use the second person, because from her perspective, she is the first:

Even the most brainless of bimbos should be able to figure out what comes next. When Ms Crusher is talking to her visitor, she remains the first person from her point of view, with the other woman becoming the second. That reduces Peaches to the third person, regardless of whether he must stand and listen to the women's conversation, or has been sent away to make coffee for their meeting.

The subject pronoun reflects the speaker's perspective, with “I” being used for the first person, “you” for the second, and “he”, “she” or “it” for the third - assuming that only one person is being spoken about, such that the pronouns are singular. If another secretary were lecturing Peaches about what everyone in the office is expected to wear, she would use the plural first-person pronoun, “we”:

It doesn't matter whether she includes him in their number, as emasculating as that would be for a man, or regards the sissy as quite separate - so long as the speaker is part of the group, “we” is called for. Conversely, if Ms Crusher were making clear her expectations to a number of male interviewees, she would use “you”, which doubles as the second-person plural. Together with Cupcake Cutiepie, Peaches might find himself being told:

If, however, the woman in charge were explaining the secretarial dress code to her visitor, she would use the third-person plural, “they”, separating both herself and the other businesswoman from their beskirted subordinates:

Let's summarise the company's emasculating dress code to avoid any doubt:

Listing the various forms of a verb like this is known as conjugation.

Of course, a skirt is not all that's expected of a sissy secretary. Peaches must wear stockings as well, so as to show off the legs that he has to shave each and every morning. Should his hosiery come under scrutiny, as it surely would should there be the slightest snag in the sheer nylon, then the sentences describing his submission would be as follows:

Do you see how the ending of the verb changes in the same way? It doesn't matter that “skirt” is singular and “stockings” is plural, with the correct choice of “wear” or “wears” depending solely on the subject of the sentence. When a single secretary is being spoken of in the third-person, he wears the stockings, but with the other pronouns, the secretaries in question wear them without an “s”. This is known as subject-verb agreement, and nouns require it too:

The majority of verbs follow the same pattern, and so are said to be regular. They have a singular form which is used with singular nouns and the singular third-person pronoun, and a plural form that is used with plural nouns and all other pronouns. In contrast to nouns, where it is the plural forms that end with an “s”, with verbs, it is the singular form - as though the subject and verb have only one “s” to share between them. Some verbs, notably those with particular endings, are irregular. Consider how letters are added or changed in the following examples:

In all the sentences we've considered so far, the subject and object have been distinctly different, something that's painfully apparent to the man learning first-hand the meaning of “the businesswoman spanks her secretary”. Suppose, however, that Ms Crusher doesn't want to have to go to the effort of punishing Peaches in person, instead preferring to sit back and watch him suffer instead. She could invite one of the office girls to set to work with the paddle, which the errant secretary would find no less excruciating, but she might equally give the implement of discipline to him. Would the following describe the humiliating fate that Peaches must consider as he lowers his skirt?

Ms Crusher would surely delight in using those words, but she wouldn't be able to do so without first inviting another man to join them, because anyone who heard her would assume that the subject and object pronouns were referring to different people. To stress that it's the same sissy both giving and receiving the spanking, a reflexive pronoun is required. Consider the following:

What a wonderful scene the last of those sentences describes - all the sissies in the company being summoned to a special meeting where they're expected to redden their own buttocks for the amusement of their female superiors! Might a woman attending such an event be tempted to surreptitiously touch herself? To complete the collection grammatically, she might pick on a particular man, telling him that his backside isn't going to spank itself! He would certainly deserve discipline, if not dismissal, for using these pronouns incorrectly, but some sissies nevertheless find it difficult to choose the right ones. Consider which of the following a submissive husband should say when prompted:

Any of these statements would be embarrassing enough for the man expected to explain his choice of bra and panties to his wife's friends, but two are even more shameful thanks to being grammatically incorrect. The proper form of such a humiliating confession becomes clearer should the sissy making it omit the first two words, it being obvious to anyone with even the most basic grasp of the English language that only the subject pronoun “I” would be acceptable were it alone. However, because there are two subjects, the verb “wear” needs to be in its plural form, as becomes clear if the pronouns are replaced with suitable nouns:

Is that how one of the women's friends goes on to share such juicy gossip later? The man might never know who else learns about his lingerie, but you can be sure his secret will be spread far and wide! Now consider how he might explain the situation were a neighbour to see the couple's bras hanging on the line, with the contrast in sizes being apparent even from over the fence:

Here the sissy is one half of the second part of the sentence, and so the object pronoun “me” is required. Once again, omitting the man's wife makes it easier to rule out the wrong words. If you're still in doubt about whether you can use “myself”, ask yourself whether the subject and the object of the verb are the same. In this case, they are not - the lingerie and the sissy are very different, even if the latter can think of nothing but the former as he sheepishly accepts ownership of the frilly lace. “This lingerie belongs to me, which is why it is so big”. Compare that situation with the following, grammatically correct sentences:

In these cases, we can use the reflexive pronoun “himself”, because it is the same man who is both buying lingerie and being bought lingerie for, lacing the corset and being laced in the corset, looking at the mirror and being looked at in the mirror. Note how none of the verbs have apostrophes, because verbs are not possessive, even when they tell us how much the man belongs to his wife!

Exercises

1. Read the following account of a male secretary being introduced to the other members of the administrative team. Copy out each sentence, underlining all the reflexive pronouns. After each one, write it, the applicable verb, and the subject of the verb in brackets.

   The other secretaries are chatting among themselves as he enters the room.

   “I want you to introduce yourself to the girls”, Ms Crusher instructs.

   “I wish I was somewhere else!”, Peaches thinks nervously to himself.

   The women struggle to stop themselves laughing at the ridiculous sight.

   “Did he choose that blouse himself?”, a secretary wonders aloud.

   The sissy finds himself shaking with fear as he looks to his boss.

   “He is a secretary, and secretaries wear blouses”, Ms Crusher informs her.

   “We can see his bra! I would feel ashamed of myself!”, the secretary snorts.

   “Now, girls! We are all going to behave ourselves!”, the businesswoman snaps.

   “You won't be working by yourself, we will all help you!”, the others promise.

2. Copy out the previous sentences again, but this time underline all the nouns (both common and proper) and personal pronouns, in addition to all the reflexive pronouns. For each that can be considered to be a subject of the sentence or any part thereof, state whether it is singular or plural, as well as which grammatical person (first, second or third) is being employed.

Exercises for extra credit

1. In your own words, explain the following terms:

   first person

   singular noun

   conjugation

   second person

   regular verb

   subject-verb agreement

   reflexive pronoun

   plural noun

   third person

   irregular verb

2. Using personal and reflexive pronouns, construct sentences that describe the actions of a couple in a female-led relationship. Include examples where the woman and the man perform the same grammatical role, and also examples where their roles are different. Write each sentence a second time, replacing the pronouns with suitable common or proper nouns.

3. Write an account of what happened after Ms Crusher left Peaches in the hands of the other secretaries, using a range of grammatical persons to describe how the office girls helped him with his work.