he's the maid

Chapter 4: What chores can my maid do?

Whether your husband is raring at the bit to be your maid or rather more reluctant about helping around the house, it's essential for him to understand what's expected of him in the way of chores. It's no good just telling him to go and clean the house if he doesn't know what that means, with the sheer scope of such a command seeing even the most enthusiastic of men at a loss for where to start. Worse yet, chores have a habit of multiplying - you might leave your husband wiping down the kitchen worktops, only to come back an hour later to find the contents of the cupboards scattered everywhere. Although rarely used utensils benefit from a good cleaning once in a while, is that really the most productive use of your maid's time, or would you rather he'd simply given the floor a once over with a wet mop before heading on to the bathroom?

Without a well-defined plan, it's all too easy for a man to feel overwhelmed by a seemingly endless series of chores, the apparent impossibility of finishing the housework leaving him in danger of ending up demoralised - especially if he'd much sooner just be slumping in front of the television to start with! Rather than risk him throwing in the towel, or even finding yourself writing off his ability to help around the house entirely, it's better to begin small, breaking things down into manageable tasks and spelling them out clearly so that your husband knows exactly what to do. Once he's become comfortable with a particular chore, it can be extended or added to, with the sense of success that comes from a job well done boosting his confidence. Before you know it, he'll have enough experience to be able to make more decisions by himself, allowing you to be less specific as he grows in proficiency.

In this chapter, we'll look at some of the things your husband can take care of for you, systematically working our way around the house as well as examining other matters that are well-suited to being performed by a male maid. We'll begin each section with something simple enough for any man to be able to take a reasonable stab at it, before moving on to more demanding duties. In due course, you'll want to make things more challenging for your husband, so we'll be considering ways to do just that - not just stretching his abilities, but keeping him on his toes if you so choose. Remember, however, that to start with, it is sufficient for him to simply try his best, however meagre that may be.

A note for would-be maids

This chapter comes before those that follow it quite deliberately, because an ability to do the chores is what makes a maid - not a uniform, let alone a desire for discipline. Although appearance and attitude are important, almost every woman would rather have a scruffy maid who can nevertheless make the house shine than one who stands around looking lost in a confection of satin and lace, ladies on the whole preferring a sullen servant who can scrub to a sycophant who doesn't know the difference between a dishcloth and a duster. Conversely, if you can master the skills we're about to discuss, you'll go a long way towards winning a woman's favour, even if what you like to wear while working might otherwise make her frown.

In the Kitchen

Doing the dishes can be the simplest of tasks, requiring no more than filling a sink with hot, soapy water before systematically working through a pile of dirty plates. As we've already seen, it's an ideal task for starting a man's service as a maid, not only being one that he's more than likely to be familiar with, but benefiting from him wearing an apron and rubber gloves as he works. When you're happy your husband has got to grips with the very basics, raise the bar slightly by insisting that he gives everything a rinse before drying it and putting it away. Using a tea towel rather than simply leaving things on the draining board naturally leads to him wiping down the latter, with the sink itself benefiting from similar treatment - even if only a quick once over.

Many houses these days have a dishwasher, but that doesn't mean your maid can't do the dishes, whether that merely means loading and unloading the machine, or hand-washing any glasses and cutlery that may be damaged by its detergent. It's easy to make such an appliance his sole responsibility, expecting him to wipe out its inside each time. Again, he should put everything away afterwards, familiarising himself with the arrangement of the cupboards in the process.

Once your husband is used to having a dishcloth in his hand, he can be asked to attend to the worktops as well, wiping up any spills or crumbs - especially if those were produced in the course of him making himself a snack. Regardless of who prepares the meals, the cooker and microwave are ideal for adding to his responsibilities, once again needing nothing more than a once over with a wet cloth to start with. A dirty grill pan will require more effort before it will squeak, but it's good introduction to working up a sweat, as well as teaching a novice maid the importance of thinking ahead. It doesn't do to fill the sink with grease before turning to the glasses, but a man won't make such a mistake more than once when it means having to empty it to do them again.

Used dishcloths soon start to smell, requiring a regular bleaching if they're not to be replaced - something your husband may not notice without it being pointed out to him, but easily addressed. Household chemicals may be daunting at first, but filling a washing up bowl with water before carefully pouring in a little bleach is straightforward enough, not even requiring exact measuring. Of course, your husband will need to wear an apron and gloves for protection, both while adding the dishcloth and washing up brush and removing them again afterwards, but the bleach will require a while to work its magic in between. That allows you to take advantage of him still being dressed for service by setting him further chores, or by else reviewing his efforts while you have a captive audience - all perfectly naturally. As time progresses, you can become increasingly picky, pointing out missed spots or suggesting how he can improve.

A quick once over may keep work surfaces superficially clean, but it won't be sufficient in the long run. To keep the sink, cooker and counters all sparkling as they should, more thorough attention is required from time to time, using a cream cleaner or the like. It's best to put this out for your maid to begin with, rather than expecting him to make the right choice from among the various bottles to be found under the sink, but he'll soon come to learn which is required. Splashbacks, appliance doors and even the insides of cupboards all benefit from receiving similar treatment, noting that special surfaces such as stainless steel may require special agents - highlight the importance of this as you introduce them, having your husband initially check with you first.

A tiled or linoleum floor can be given a quick sweep, whether with a broom or just a dustpan and brush. The collected detritus provides proof that your husband has made a difference, even if his efforts can't otherwise be seen, and can be given a cursory inspection to ensure he hasn't shirked his work. A male maid may find sweeping surprisingly satisfying, however, perhaps even going so far as to fish out fluff from under the refrigerator of his own accord so as to have more to show. The submission inherent in having your husband grovel around on the floor can be stressed by standing over him as he works, or else by insisting that he sweeps around your feet as you sit and watch. There's ample opportunity for having fun here if you're mischievously minded, whether that means distracting him with demands or deliberately getting in his way.

Like the worktops, the kitchen floor will want a more thorough cleaning on a regular basis, this time with a bucket and mop. Rather than overwhelming your husband to begin with, you may wish to alternate this chore with the surfaces, perhaps having him do each once a fortnight until he's ready to do both every week. A man used to sweeping should soon get the hang of mopping, albeit with the latter seeing him having to consider his route more carefully if he's not to get his feet wet - a lesson that he'll soon learn if only wearing stockings! If you wish to make this task more onerous for him, you can swap his mop for a sponge or even a scrubbing brush, perhaps having him devote himself solely to the grout occasionally. Either way, it's worth getting him into the habit of checking his work as he goes along, encouraging him to do so by pointing out any places he has missed before insisting he stops what he is doing to attend to them. Contrary to what some men may at first think, it isn't enough to get everything wet, let alone flood the floor with water - it is the absence of stains that is important, even if that means scrubbing each away individually.

A mopped floor requires time to dry before your husband returns to give it a final inspection, with the way it precludes other work in the kitchen making it best left until last. Nevertheless, there are further chores that you can set him first, not least emptying the kitchen bin. Depending on the amount of camouflage around your house, stepping outside may not be practical for a man wearing a conspicuous maid's uniform, but a regular apron should be less of an obstacle to him taking out the trash. Even if there is absolutely no possibility of him being seen, however, your husband may be disproportionately anxious about such a simple task. If he baulks at the request, you can present him with a deal whereby he's allowed to temporarily take off his apron in exchange for taking on additional duties, or permit him to cover it with a coat if he agrees to make things up as your maid in another way.

Regardless of whether he carries the bag of rubbish outside immediately or leaves it on the doorstep for later, the bin will still need to be relined, not to mention sanitised from time to time too. Scrubbing surfaces with hot water and detergent shouldn't pose any difficulty, but having him deal with a dirtier task like this will divest your husband of any misconceptions he may have about what it means to be your maid. The same is true for cleaning out the refrigerator, another chore that's essential periodically if things aren't to start to smell. Whether you make it a monthly requirement, or save it for when you wish to stress his submission, taking everything out before washing the insides down with baking soda will require your husband to get intimately acquainted with the appliance - all the more so if there's a freezer compartment requiring de-icing as well.

Descaling the kettle, removing the crumbs from the toaster and deep cleaning the coffee maker and grinder are all tedious but relatively straightforward chores that need attending to more or less frequently. Depending on your husband's proficiency, it may be enough to leave him with the appropriate materials, or you may wish to oversee his first attempt more closely, talking him through exactly what's expected of him until he's confident enough to do so by himself. Removing the grease from the hood filter is more strenuous, but not a dissimilar task, as is cleaning the inside of the oven itself, both requiring the use of stronger chemicals and adequate protection. Rather than risk injury or damage, stress the importance of reading both labels and manuals before setting to work, having your husband explain what he's going to do before he does.

If you really want to challenge a man contending with corset and heels, insist that he pulls out the refrigerator and other appliances so that he can clean underneath them. There's sure to be plenty of grime awaiting him in these usually unseen places, with the layout of most kitchens and the length of cables leaving little room in which for him to work - even without any restrictions imposed by his uniform. Forced to get down on his hands and knees in a confined space, your maid is likely to be filthy by the time he's finished, but his work won't be over when he finally pushes things back in place, no matter how wet and messy he may be! The grimy tracks that will have invariably been left behind by the feet of the refrigerator or oven will require further scrubbing to remove them from the floor, providing another opportunity for you to stand over him should you so choose.

Finally, don't let your husband forget those places in the kitchen that need dusting. Although many of the lower surfaces won't accumulate anything if he's already wiping them regularly, there are still the tops of cupboards, curtain rails, lights and the like that require additional attention. We'll discuss dusting in more detail shortly, but it's certainly not a task to be left until last, with your maid needing to work from the top down in the kitchen as much as any other room. Clambering onto the counters in the course of completing this chore makes matters more complicated, however, any surfaces which he may mount needing to be neither wet nor dirty if he's to avoid sullying his legs, yet requiring cleaning afterwards should he bring down dust onto them.

In the Lounge, Dining Room and Hallway

In the fullness of time, dusting should always come first, but there's a lot to be said for starting your husband off with the vacuum cleaner. The physical demands of pushing and pulling such an appliance back and forth, together with the noise it makes, gives a man a much greater sense of doing something than merely waving a duster around. Although seemingly straightforward, there's more to vacuuming than meets the eye, especially if your maid is hampered by high heels. Stilettos will soon lose their appeal should your husband have to fight them for every step, but even without being hobbled by such impractical shoes, vacuuming can be surprisingly frustrating. With a cord that has a tendency to tangle and wheels that won't do what he wants, getting into every last corner can be quite a challenge, especially when there's the feet of chairs and tables forever getting in the way - if not those of a mischievously minded mistress!

Bearing this in mind, it's best not to be too demanding to begin with, instead having your husband start with vacuuming that's both simple and specific - perhaps the section of carpet between the sofa and the television, or else the rug in the hallway, both areas which generally require more attention anyway thanks to their greater use. It's easy to check that he's covered everywhere he should, even if you don't watch him while he works, with the slightest detritus giving you grounds to have him go over somewhere again should you wish to be picky. You can quickly extend his responsibilities as he grows in confidence, requiring the use of additional attachments to vacuum along the edges of skirting boards or underneath furniture. That'll see your husband having to bend and stretch, adding to the physical demands of this laborious task - yet he'll have something to show for his efforts, with a quick inspection of where the dust is collected confirming the benefits of such a chore. “Look at all the dirt you've picked up!”, you can praise. “The carpet looks so much cleaner!”.

An inherently lazy man may initially be tempted not to remove things from the floor, but he'll soon discover that trying to vacuum around such obstacles is more trouble than it's worth! Will your husband be so likely to leave discarded papers, shoes or bags on the floor when he's the one they'll end up getting in the way of? You'll no longer need to nag him about tidying up after himself when he realises how he's making himself extra work by not doing so, vacuuming soon teaching him the value of putting everything in its proper place. Over time, he can be taught to move larger items of furniture too - if you're not sitting in the sofa, there's no reason why he shouldn't pull it away from the wall, do what he needs to behind it, then push it back again. Indeed, with the right attachment, your husband may be able to vacuum its cushions as well.

Returning the vacuum cleaner and all its accessories to the cupboard requires a degree of effort - much more than it takes for you to ask your husband to do another room while he's got everything out. It needn't take long before he's vacuuming all the carpets in the house as a matter of course, even those in more challenging places such as the stairs. If his uniform incorporates a short skirt, you can stand at the bottom and comment on exactly what you can see, but you can stress his submission just as easily by expecting him to squeeze to one side to allow you to pass - regardless of your pretext for heading up and down! Even if you merely leave your maid to his own devices, however, he'll still have his work cut out for him lugging a heavy appliance up one step at a time, with the comparatively straightforward landing surely coming as quite a relief! Don't let him forget to do the doormat before he finally puts the vacuum away.

The vacuum cleaner requires occasional care and attention itself, its contents having to be periodically emptied and the hairs removed from its rollers if it isn't to get clogged up. While a full bag can simply be put in the bin before being replaced, a bagless vacuum cleaner is best emptied outside, with your husband soon overcoming any reservations he may have about doing so once he's seen how the dust goes everywhere. You may wish to save the distasteful task of unclogging the vacuum's brushes for when your maid needs a reminder of his place, but it's not unreasonable to ask him to subsequently give them a quick clean each time to avoid further build up. Removing tightly wound hair requires your maid to demonstrate not only patience, but more than likely a particularly vulnerable position as well, it being far easier for him to get down on his hands and knees than it is to turn most upright cleaners upside-down. It's entirely up to you whether you take advantage of him being so helpless, or simply sit back and relax somewhere else while he struggles to remove every last tangle.

By comparison, dusting is a walk in the park - indeed, it's something you can add almost as an afterthought, waiting until your husband is about to switch the vacuum on before asking him attend to it first. Although flouncing around with a feather duster may merely be a means of setting the scene in many a sissy maid's fantasies, it's nevertheless a task that needs to be taken seriously, requiring more than a token gesture from your husband. Forget the feathers, and provide him with a modern microfibre alternative, along with a cloth for more straightforward surfaces. It's then just a case of telling your maid to dust a room from top to bottom - something he'll need to do literally, starting on high if he's not to find himself having to repeat his efforts.

A man's greater height makes it easier for him to remove any cobwebs that are hanging from the ceiling, providing a ready-made reason for him to tackle this particular chore if you're just starting out. Although he may have to stretch a little, swishing a duster around is neither difficult nor demanding, with care needing to be taken only around any light fittings. These too will want to be dusted in turn, as will the tops of doors, curtain rails and picture frames. Continuing downwards, there may be shelves, mantelpieces and tables - to begin with, it may be enough for your husband to work around any objects sitting on these, but ideally everything should be removed for individual attention. That's no mean feat when it comes to a case full of books or curios, teaching a man that dusting can be quite a demanding chore after all! Your maid will be glad if you only insist on such a deep clean occasionally, but the inexorable build up of dust gives you an excuse to have him go the extra mile every time.

Once again, if he's wearing a short skirt, you can have a lot of fun with your husband here, but even if he's not, you can still pinch his behind or tickle an exposed armpit should you feel playful - molesting the maid may be a mainstay of fantasy, but that doesn't mean you can't enjoy distracting him as he dusts! Of course, you'll still want the work completed to your satisfaction, even if you're not actively supervising. Fortunately, you need only run a finger over a surface afterwards to see whether your husband has paid adequate attention, with any remaining dust serving as good reason for him to go back again. Has he dusted the edge of the skirting board, the tops of the electrical sockets and behind the radiator? What about the lampshades and television? There are plenty of places a man might not ever think need dusting until he's had them pointed out, but he'll soon learn to take care of them without having to be asked. As always, don't overwhelm him, but gradually expect more of your maid.

We'll look at cleaning mirrors when we move onto the bathroom, but there's little difference between silvered glass and that which protects a picture. A clean, dry cloth and a little elbow grease is sufficient to keep a framed photograph or print free from smudges and smears, whereas a gentle brushing will remove the dust from a genuine painting. While your husband is at it, have him treat any light switches and socket plates to similar scrutiny, as well as the door handles, insisting there should be no fingerprints left when he's finished.

Some wooden furniture benefits from an occasional oiling or waxing, with leather chairs also requiring periodic polishing. The same is true for any hardwood floors you may have, but none of these are tasks that an untrained maid should take on without thought. Instead, be very deliberate about setting them, showing your husband the right way of doing things on a small area before having him repeat your example while you watch, or else by requiring him to research and explain the process first. Once you've got your maid suitably trained, even these more complicated chores can be added to his monthly schedule without further comment, your initial investment of effort soon paying off in form of furniture and floors that stay polished thereafter.

Regardless of what other attention he shows the sofa and armchairs, your maid shouldn't leave the lounge without giving their cushions a quick plump, with an occasional rotation doing a world of good too. You can make a game of this if you're mischievously minded, insisting that your husband attend to the very seat you're about to take while you hover impatiently, if not expecting him to extract a cushion from behind you so he can make it more comfortable for you. Will you have him fetch a footstool or your favourite book while he's at it, or simply sit back and watch while he continues with the cleaning?

In the Bathroom

A man who can clean a kitchen won't have too much trouble doing the bathroom as well, with many of the surfaces being similar except in terms of scale, and perhaps a greater propensity to grow mould. A bathtub requires the same sort of treatment as a sink, albeit with your husband having to bend and scrub rather more before it's as shiny as it should be, whereas a tiled wall can be thought of as merely a very big splashback. If he can make one gleam with cream cleaner and a cloth, then there's no reason why he can't do the same to the other, a fact that you can take advantage of when seeking to extent his responsibilities. There's certainly no reason for a ring around the bath when you have your own maid!

Nevertheless, some bathroom chores are made more challenging by the additional connotations they carry, independent of the effort involved. For instance, many men find the mere idea of cleaning the toilet to be beyond the pale, despite the fact that doing so isn't actually that demanding. Admittedly, your husband will need to don rubber gloves and most likely get down on his knees, but squirting cleaner around the inside of the rim is straightforward enough, whereas wiping the cistern and seat with a wet cloth is well within the capabilities of even the most inexperienced of maids. Scrubbing the bowl will require him to sweat a little more, but it's not as if he ever has to touch anything untoward - merely thrust a brush and then flush to reveal the fruits of labours. Even a reluctant man will subsequently admit that a transformed toilet is well worth the trouble.

That being said, the way in which you introduce such a chore will depend on how enthusiastic your husband is about being your maid. If he had to be coaxed into an apron, then it's best not to make a big deal about it, reducing the toilet to no more than a couple of extra surfaces in need of a once over. Wiping the cistern can naturally follow from doing the washbasin, albeit with a different cloth and a disinfectant cleaner, something which can in due course be extended to the porcelain further down - the latter easily associated with the pedestal of the basin or the side of the bath. Cleaning the bowl may require no more than a quick squeeze of a bottle to begin with, the chemical working on your husband's behalf merely by being left to soak while he works elsewhere. As he becomes more comfortable in the bathroom, you can ask him to scrub the inside afterwards, eventually giving the toilet the degree of attention it deserves.

Some men don't need to be asked twice to clean the toilet - indeed, they would do so in the most degrading of ways should you but tell them, perhaps mistakenly believing that doing so demonstrates their devotion, or else seeking a means to assuage the guilt they may feel about crossdressing. If your husband fantasises about being a toilet maid, you may care to humour his foibles, but only to the extent that doing so doesn't detract from his other duties. For instance, you may insist that he leaves the toilet until last, having him complete more humdrum chores before being allowed the pleasure of kneeling in front of the porcelain. Any talk of using a toothbrush or other impractical implement should be swiftly quashed, even as a punishment, with your emphasis placed on the need for efficiency instead. Indeed, you can hurry your husband along by demanding to use the facilities before he's finished, chiding him for taking his time.

Polishing a mirror is an even more straightforward task, at its most basic needing only a clean cloth and the systematic application of your husband's breath. Nevertheless, working his way across the silvered glass will require a man to confront whatever he is wearing, and moreover, what that means. Even on a larger mirror, you may choose to forbid the use of cleaners that might make things easier, instead insisting that your maid gets close to his reflection to make it shine. The extra time taken is more than repaid by how doing so will help him come to accept his role as a maid, your husband having to consider the details of his uniform as he cleans. Of course, a single fingerprint is sufficient to spoil an otherwise spotless finish, allowing you to point out places that require additional attention - even if they didn't before, they will after a mischievous mistress has made her mark!

Similar attention can be asked for the glass of shower screens, but here a cleaner is definitely called for in order to remove scale. Your husband will soon learn to work from top to bottom if he's not to get any wetter than he has to, attending to any fittings along the way. Cleaning the shower tray will require him to get down on his knees again to make it sparkle, with the drain needing to be cleared of any hair - hardly the most pleasant of tasks, but nevertheless the responsibility of a maid. Once in a while, it's worth having him use stronger chemicals to keep the showerhead and pipes clear - rather than using expensive proprietary products for the latter, consider a spoonful of washing soda washed down with a kettle of boiling water. Not only does this do the job just as well, but fetching it will require your husband to traipse to the kitchen, encouraging him to think ahead about what he will need.

Indeed, cleaning the bathroom requires a degree of planning if your husband isn't to make unnecessary work for himself. He'll need to dust while everything is still dry, and it's no good doing the washbasin first if he'll subsequently empty a bucket of dirty water down it. There's also the matter of hygiene that must be considered, although you may initially have to spell out why the same cloth shouldn't be shared between the toilet and the other surfaces. Over time, however, your husband will realise the sense in doing everything the right way, not because you're nagging him about it, but simply because he'll be the one who'll end up suffering if he doesn't. He'll eventually think about such things even when he's not actively in your service, his own interests encouraging him to give the glass a quick wipe after his shower or mop up the toilet splashes that men not sitting to pee all too often make before you ever see them.

In the Bedroom

If your husband is already dusting and vacuuming other rooms, attending to the bedroom may be presented as simply more of the same, not needing any skills beyond those he has already. It makes sense for your maid to eventually do everything while he has the cleaner out, even though that makes it solely his domain. That's not to say the bedroom doesn't offers its own unique challenges, however, as your husband will soon discover should you ask him to vacuum under the bed - an area that requires just as regular attention as any other! If he hasn't done so already, he'll have to acquaint himself with the vacuum's hose and attachments, perhaps even pulling the bed out from the wall - something that will see him reminded of any restrictions his uniform may impose.

Even before he does so, however, he'll most likely have to bend down for other reasons, with the bedroom floor tending to attract discarded garments more than anywhere else in the house. Your husband will soon stop unconsciously shedding dirty socks on the carpet when he'll subsequently have to pick them up, but that doesn't mean you can't make a little extra work for your maid by leaving your own clothes for him to put in the hamper. For a man who wears a bra and panties as he works, crouching to collect his wife's worn underwear is sure to prove provocative, but even expecting your husband to stoop for a blouse and skirt will serve to stress his submission to all things feminine. If you're feeling really wicked, undress on the way to the bath he's just run for you, leaving him to attend to your still warm lingerie while you enjoy a long soak!

As with everywhere else in the house, the bedroom will need dusting before your husband can set to work with the vacuum, although the bedside cabinets and headboard are unlikely to be much of a bother. Your vanity or dressing table may be a different matter, however, especially if it's cluttered with cosmetics, every last lipstick, compact and brush needing to be temporarily removed, only to be returned to exactly the same place afterwards. To start with, you might spare him such a time-consuming chore in favour of just having him polish the mirror behind, but your husband won't be able to put your make-up collection completely out of his mind as he reaches across it. If you're wanting a pretext to ask more of your maid, this is a perfect place - even a completely concocted accusation that he's messed up your things will provide grounds for insisting that he makes amends.

Changing the bed is a very simple chore, especially if your husband doesn't have to wash the sheets afterwards - something we'll save for the next section. Indeed, it's ideal as an introduction to domestic duties, it being hard for a man to go far wrong here. Removing and replacing the bedding will require him to work up a bit of a sweat, however, as well as providing opportunities for you to be picky should you be so minded. It's not unreasonable to expect the pillows to be plumped and the sheets to be properly tucked in, but you can set your maid even more of a challenge by asking him to turn the mattress from time to time too - far from the easiest of tasks to undertake in full uniform, but nevertheless necessary once in a while. Make sure he moves anything breakable safely out of the way first, and allow him to forgo any heels until he's done.

If you have a bin in your bedroom, then the responsibility for emptying it should naturally fall to your maid, doing so made slightly less straightforward by needing to be co-ordinated with his other chores. When failing to do so means having to take out the trash twice, you husband will soon start thinking ahead1, devising a routine that sees him dispose of all the rubbish in one go. Incidentally, the same is true for other tasks that need repeating in several rooms - house plants, for example, are best watered together, regardless of where they may be.

To really make him spend time in the bedroom, you can occasionally tell your husband to clean out a chest of drawers, wardrobe or closet - perhaps only his to begin with, but in due course, your as well. That will require him to remove everything before attending to the furniture itself, albeit not without noting where the contents belong. After dusting, vacuuming and relining as appropriate, he'll subsequently need to return everything to its rightful place - enough of a challenge when all he's dealing with are his socks or shirts, let alone should you ask him to give your shoe collection similar attention. Needless to say, the slightest thing amiss gives you grounds to have him make it right, if not start again. It might seem like nitpicking, but taking him to task on minor points such as whether drawers and doors are properly closed will soon pay off, encouraging your husband to show attention to detail throughout the house.

[1] “Using the head to save the heels”, to borrow a delightful phrase from a vintage maid's manual.

Doing the Laundry

While having your husband work his way around the house is sure to make your life easier, there's much more he can do than simply clean. Ask many women what they want most from a maid, and they'll suggest someone who'll do the washing and ironing, the laundry often seeming like an endless chore! If only a man could be trusted to take care of everything, such that dirty clothes needed no further thought after being deposited in the hamper, appearing freshly pressed in your wardrobe or drawers. At the very least, it would be nice if he had some understanding of the work involved, instead of imagining it happened by magic.

It's unfortunately unrealistic to expect even the most enthusiastic of husbands to take all the laundry off your hands overnight - as with all the other areas we've been considering, it's better broken down down into a series of simpler, more manageable tasks, rather than overwhelming him with the complexities of separating clothes and selecting the right washing cycles from the start. Before you even think about letting him loose on your blouses and skirts, you'll want to make sure that they won't come out shrunken, stained or scorched, having him develop the necessary skills on less critical laundry, such as the bedding.

It may not be terribly sexy, but attending to the sheets and pillowcases has a number of advantages for both maid and mistress - for starters, that the need to take care of them comes as a natural consequences of having changed the bed. Moreover, they're most likely to be the same colour, thus requiring no special sorting before being put in the machine. Instead, your husband can concentrate on where to put the washing powder or liquid, not only becoming familiar with measuring it out, but learning which buttons need to be pressed to set things going the way they should - something that can be surprisingly daunting the first time, however at home a man may be with more masculine machinery. Once he knows what he's doing, however, it's no more than a minute added to his bedroom responsibilities, requiring only a quick detour before he can resume them.

Long gone are the days when doing the laundry demanded hours of backbreaking labour, bent over a washboard with a bar of soap in one's hand! The wonders of modern technology mean that all today's maid has to do is to keep half an ear open for the sound of the washing machine's door unlocking, there being nothing further required of him once the cycle has started. That doesn't mean he should just sit around, however, although you may wish to have him watch the washer do its thing at least once so that he understands what it is doing. Otherwise, your husband can be expected to make use of the time productively around the house, arranging his activities so as to be available to empty the machine. If you're feeling picky, you can chide him for leaving the damp sheets in the drum for too long, but you can equally scold him for dropping what he is doing, it needing careful judgement on his part to prioritise all his chores.

Of course, the washing machine finishing doesn't signal the end of a maid's work, but rather the start of a second stage, with the wet laundry needing to be dried before your husband can even begin to think about putting it away. That may mean him using a separate tumble dryer, with further settings to memorise, or else persuading the washing machine to perform an addition task - both procedures that are best walked through with him in person the first time. The size of sheets obviously makes them less amenable to being hung over an airer next to a radiator, although that's another option for smaller items, but if possible, the best choice by far is to have him peg them out on the line.

Unfortunately, it isn't just the weather you'll need to worry about when asking your husband to hang the washing out, with many men feel feeling acute anxiety about the possibility of being seen doing something so “womanly”, regardless of how they may be dressed. It's better to recognise that this may be a big step for your husband, even if he's happy strutting around the house in stockings and stilettos, perhaps taking him outside in advance to show him that the washing line is sufficiently secluded, or else allowing him to use a portable airer outside instead. Once again, sheets serve as an innocuous starting point, preferable not only to pegging out panties and bras in lacking embarrassing connotations, but large enough to allow your husband to hide behind them until he's able to conquer his fears. Should he remain reluctant, you can offer to trade this straightforward task for one that's more time-consuming or tedious, having your cowardly maid pay the price for being such a sissy scaredy-cat in the form of additional service.

Regardless of how the laundry dries, it's going to take time - time which your husband can fruitfully spend engaged in other housework, unless you choose to postpone the subsequent ironing so as to have him return to duty on another occasion. Some men might question the need for ironing sheets when they're only going to get creased again as soon as they're slept on - indeed, you may skip this stage yourself on the grounds of life being too short - but the benefits of having your husband press the bedding go beyond mere appearances. It's an ideal introduction to ironing, with the size and simplicity of a sheet giving a man plenty of practice without any real risk. He can learn to use steam to remove stubborn creases, and it's easy to assess his work afterwards, quite apart from the pleasure of seeing your maid bent over an ironing board.

Towels are also relatively straightforward for a man to tackle, not even requiring ironing, with the task of taking care of them easily added to his bathroom responsibilities. From there, you might extend his laundry repertoire to include some of his own clothes, especially if he has a hobby that sees him regularly getting dirty. He may be man of the match on the field, but his muddy things are another job for the maid once he comes off it - they're his, after all! Indeed, your husband can be expected to wash what he wears to do the housework, introducing him to the demands of different fabrics in the process. If he wears lingerie or hosiery as part of his uniform, he can learn how to hand-wash it, coming to appreciate that intimate attire can't just be stuffed in the machine. To provide him with ample motivation to keep his whites as white as can be, simply suggest that greying undies will be regarded as grounds for him having to buy replacements, in person - similarly with any stockings he might spoil.

It won't be long before your husband has enough experience to be trusted with your clothes as well as his own, perhaps initially seeking your approval after he's sorted the laundry into separate loads or having you confirm the temperature of the iron, but ultimately becoming capable of attending to everything without further assistance. He can be encouraged to inspect garments for stains and apply the appropriate removers as required, as well as taking care of the appliances too - cleaning the inside of the washing machine and removing lint from the dryer to ensure that both continue to function the way they should. A more capable maid might fix any loose threads or dangling buttons that he might find, a spot of hand stitching not beyond the remit of a servant - at the very least, he should bring these to your attention.

Finally, although they're not strictly laundry, shoes are also well within the purview of a maid. There's certainly no reason why you should get your hands dirty when your husband can polish yours for you, although once again, you may want to have him hone his skills on his own first. If you really want to stress his submission, insist that he cleans the pair that you're wearing, having him drop to his knees to remove them from your feet before returning them after they've been cleaned. Alternatively, a winter's walk is a great way of making work for your maid, with a pair of muddy boots proving even more challenging if he's expected to keep his satin apron spotless while scrubbing them clean.


Men don't need to be maids in order to be able to cook, with an increasing number taking pride in their culinary skills. If you're fortunate to have a husband who's already at home in the kitchen, then you may not think twice about him making dinner, but having him do so while dressed the part adds a delicious twist to even the most everyday of dishes. A formal uniform is sure to make cooking fun if he's submissively inclined, there being no reason why he can't snatch a bite while still wearing it before heading back to wash the dishes. To taste a little of the life of luxury, have your maid wait at table, topping up your glass and taking away your plate as required - an occasional treat that you might not want to make the norm, but can certainly enjoy from time to time!

If your husband's idea of preparing food is ringing the nearest restaurant, however, then he'll need to learn to walk before he can run. If he struggles even to boil an egg, you might begin by having him throw together a sandwich - something which need take no more than buttering a couple of slices of bread before adding some filling to start with, but still has plenty of scope for improvement. Subtleties such as whether he's spun the lettuce or how well he's cut the cucumber and tomato can wait until he's acquired a little confidence, but more complicated ingredients can soon take the place of ready to eat sliced meat. If his housework schedule sees him attending to other chores in the evening, why not ask him to make his own lunch to take to work the next day?

Another approach is to make him responsible for a small part of the meal preparations - for instance, peeling the vegetables or putting together a simple dessert such as a fruit salad. Both can be done well ahead of time, such that there's none of the pressure that often accompanies cooking, and it doesn't matter too much if his first attempts are a little bit clumsy. It should go without saying that a maid can set and clear the table, as well as take care of little things such as ensuring the water in the jug is ice cold. The important thing is that your husband has contributed in some way, the resulting meal no longer solely the result of your labours. Even if he's only played a token role, you can stress how you've worked together as a team, yet over time give him more and more responsibility as his confidence and capabilities grow.

There's no shame in having your husband attend a cookery course to help improve his skills, with many intended specifically for men - whether in person, or online. If you're looking for inspiration, there are books and websites offering recipes for all skill levels, including complete beginners, it needing only a quick search to find plenty of food for thought. Should your husband be more experienced, he can simply be told to surprise you, but even a man still finding his way around the kitchen can be asked to choose something he thinks you might like him to make for you, albeit running his ideas past you first to make sure he doesn't bite off more than he can chew. Rather than dismiss anything impractical out of hand, however, set it as a target for him to aim towards, however distant that may be - one day, he will surprise you!

Many men are partial to a stodgy pudding or a traditional cooked breakfast, despite what their doctors and diets may have to say about such unhealthy food. Whether you're looking to motivate a reluctant man or reward a hard-working maid, why not allow him to treat himself to something you wouldn't ordinarily approve of - so long as he makes it himself? While you wouldn't want him to indulge every day, let alone get the impression he deserves such delights simply for doing his domestic duty, the occasional indulgence does no harm - indeed, it's a great way to introduce him to new skills if you're willing to take the time to instruct him, stressing that it's down to you to decide. Would it be cruel to make him wear a corset while he cooks so he can't overconsume?

Meals aren't the only thing a maid can learn to make - baking is another profitable pursuit, whether it be cakes, biscuits or bread. The latter is even easier should you have a machine with which to make it, it only requiring your husband to measure the ingredients and select the correct programme, but the satisfaction of turning out a loaf is none the less for having it all taken care of. To give him more of a challenge, insist that he does the mixing by hand, adopting the persona of an old-fashioned scullery maid as he sets to work. Whichever way he does it, however, he'll be rewarded for his efforts with a wonderful smell as whatever he's making rises. You can keep him on his toes in the intervening time by setting him enough chores that he can't afford to stand around - will he get them done before the timer sounds? It's deliciously easy to take that decision out of his hands if you're feeling mischievously minded, but you can equally effortlessly just sit back as your husband turned housemaid brings you something so fresh that it's still warm from the oven.

Pampering the Lady of the House

As the lady of the house, you deserve to be pampered - and who better to do that than your maid? Attending to your needs, both mundane and more personal, helps remind a man of what's really important - all the more so when he has to stop what he's doing to answer your call. The dusting will still be there to be done when he's fixed you a drink or fetched you your phone, but there are few chores so pressing that your needs shouldn't come first. If your husband is working within earshot, you can simply click your fingers to command his attention, or else call for him to come to you. Some women even go so far as to have a little bell to ring when they require attention, but regardless of how you choose to summon your maid, the onus is on him to come scurrying to your side. To really emphasis his place, have him stand there and wait until you require his services, his only duty being not to disturb you - something that's even more submissive when he still has plenty of housework to finish.

Whether it's a traditional cup of tea poured fresh from the pot, a healthy smoothie or something ice cold in the summer, your husband will soon learn to make your favourite drinks exactly the way you like them. There's nothing like sitting back and relaxing while your maid busies himself on your behalf, but a submissive man will also find plenty of satisfaction in pleasing his mistress. You can really go to town with your respective roles here, having your maid bring you what would otherwise be an ordinary drink on a tray - one which can serve as a temporary table until it's time for him to take your empty glass away.

We've already seen how your maid can take care of your shoes, but why not have him attend to your feet as well? Receiving a soothing foot massage is a wonderful way to relax after you've been rushing around all day, with your husband soon picking up the necessary skills with a little practice. He needn't stop there, however - anywhere that aches can be treated to his tender touch once he's got the basics under his belt, whether that be your stiff shoulders and neck as you sit back in a chair or a more sensual full body affair involving back, buttocks and thighs. You might not be comfortable receiving the latter from anyone else, but your tension is sure to swiftly melt away in your husband's loving hands - even as his maid's uniform helps make sure he doesn't get ahead of himself.

You can step things up by having him bathe your feet for you, needing to do nothing yourself beyond slipping them into the bowl of warm water he'll bring. Alternatively, why not have your husband run you a relaxing bubble bath? He can continue his chores while you savour a soak, or else remain by your side ready with a towel - if not a glass of wine and your favourite book as well. Once he becomes more proficient, you can have him treat you to a full pedicure, perhaps having him practise polishing his own nails until he has enough experience to do yours. With his maid's outfit again holding back his masculine tendencies, you can even ask him to give you a facial, knowing it'll be the kind you want!

Last, but by no means least, his unique position as both husband and housemaid allows him to demonstrate even more intimate devotion - whether that involves dropping to his knees as you spread your legs, or lifting his own skirt so that you can avail yourself of his arousal. When you're playing mistress and maid, your satisfaction is what matters, but being taken while he works or being told to worship your womanhood can be just as hot for the man adopting a more submissive part in proceedings. If you don't fancy having fun with your husband while he's feminized, rest assured that any frustration you care to induce will keep until he changes - all the more so should you light-heartedly tease him about what “the man of the house” is going to do to you when he comes home.

Leaving the House

Some submissive crossdressers fantasise about going out in public wearing a full maid's uniform, perhaps picturing themselves pushing a supermarket trolley while everyone stares at their skirt and petticoats, or else having to wash the car with precious little concealing their panties. Regardless of whether your husband is turned on or terrified by such impractical ideas, don't let daft daydreams deter you from sending him out in your service dressed less conspicuously. A little lingerie concealed beneath his clothes is more than enough to remind him of his domestic position when he's out and about, although you can have him hide an apron as well should you wish to stress the point - a jacket and trousers will cover a surprising amount of frills so long as he's careful about keeping them tucked in.

A natural starting place is to have your husband take responsibility for ensuring the cupboard under the sink stays adequately stocked with cleaning supplies - indeed, as the maid, he'll be best placed to know when the things that he uses are running out. Have him make a list of what's getting low before sending him out on a special errand, or else simply ask him to pick things up as needed on his way home from work. To begin with, you can make things easier by telling him to replace like for like, the supermarket shelves likely to prove challenging enough for a man unfamiliar with their arrangement, but over time, he can be encouraged to think more for himself about exactly what he's buying.

Some commercials for proprietary cleaners feature sexist stereotypes of men whose inadequacy is matched only by their laziness as they blunder their way through the chores in the absence of their wives. The veracity or otherwise of their claims is easily put to the test, with your husband likely to develop a preference for products that genuinely make his life easier - not those that merely promise to! In truth, generic or store brand products tend to work just as well, not to mention being significantly cheaper - especially when bought in bulk. You can steer your maid away from unnecessarily lining the pockets of advertising executives by setting him a budget to be adhered to, something which will also discourage him from being wasteful. Of course, he still needs to get everything clean, but being rewarded for having money left over is sure to motivate him to find the most economical ways of tackling the housework.

If your husband is going to be cooking for you, then buying the necessary ingredients can naturally be left to him once he's reasonably confident, along with anything else you might care to add to his list. Although something of a cliché, you can test his mettle as a maid by asking him to buy products that are undeniably feminine, such as tampons or pantyhose, requiring him to swallow his pride and treat them as nothing special if he's to select the right type. A mischievous mistress can find ample grounds to make her maid sweat, cutting an overly confident man down to size by sending him back when he buys the wrong sort. In general, however, you'll want to go easy on your husband to begin with, building up his confidence until he's capable of taking care of all the shopping should you choose. Might you have him account for every penny he's spent at the end of the month? It's a profound responsibility, but one that can fill a submissive man with much pride as he spares his mistress such minutiae.

Your husband may be able to clean some windows without having to get changed, however nervous he may be about the neighbours as he attends to their glass. If you share his fears, have him stand where he would be working in inconspicuous clothing while you assess where he might be seen from, letting him know exactly where is safe from prying eyes. Similarly, some outdoor furniture may offer an opportunity for him to remain in his outfit while he washes it, however ill-suited the latter may be to the season - whether it's a wintry wind whipping up a skimpy skirt or the hot summer sun beating down on a heavy black dress. You can supervise his efforts from the comfort of the house, or else leisurely soak up some rays while he labours - albeit not without having your maid apply lotion to your back first! Sweeping the yard can become a regular requirement should that please you, being not that different to a tiled floor - save for your husband's heightened sense of exposure.

Even if he does have to make allowances for those around him, you can insist on him donning his full uniform as soon as he steps back inside. Indeed, the way in which a maid's uniform precludes him from being in seen in public means you can leave him to the chores while you go out yourself, safe in the knowledge that he'll be still hard at work when you come home. Why fuss with finding your keys when you can expect him to open the door for you? Quite apart from the pleasure of being welcomed in and helped out of your coat, the need for your husband to keep half an ear open for your return as he busies himself about the house will get him into the habit of anticipating your needs in advance.

Throughout this book, we've spoken of husbands and wives, but if you've yet to start living together, your maid can still let himself into your apartment and take care of things in your absence. Whether you allow him to keep his uniform in your wardrobe or have him bring it with him each time, there's nothing like coming home late from work to discover a man preparing you a meal in a kitchen he's made sparkle. Alternatively, have him schedule a call like a professional cleaner, perhaps even expecting him to come with all the supplies he needs to get the job done. It's up to you whether you shoo him out of the door as soon as he's finished, or reward him for his devotion by allowing him to spend the night - perhaps after packing everything away again in his car. Conversely, you can treat his place as a five star hotel and restaurant - one whose sole member of staff will cater for your every need, right down to answering the door when you ring. Even cohabiting couples can play such games with a little planning, allowing every lady to enjoy a taste of the high life from time to time.

Scheduling his services

We've toured the house and considered cooking and laundry, as well as looking at how your maid can pamper you more personally, but we still haven't exhausted everything you can have him do - indeed, there are sure to be chores that are unique to your individual situation. Should you think of something you'd like your husband to take off your hands, make a note of it, no matter how unlikely the idea of him tackling it might currently seem. It doesn't even need to be a task you already do yourself for you to be able to add it to your wish list - idle fancies of what it might be like in a millionaire's mansion can be just as fruitful as the mundanities of a more modest lifestyle, regardless of whether you think it's worth your while to press sheets, squeeze juice or peel grapes. Having a maid allows you enjoy a little luxury, as well as sparing you work!

Keeping a list of odd jobs comes in useful should you ever find your maid at a loose end, or else wish to extend his domestic duties for whatever reason. If your husband shows particular enthusiasm about serving you, you can share your list with him, perhaps even pinning it up somewhere prominent so he can tick off tasks when he has time. You may find that things you hate or find hard are no trouble for him, such that it comes as a surprise what he chooses to tackle. So long as something gets done, it doesn't matter whether he's able to fit it in among his other work with an ease that would have escaped you, or else finds a satisfying challenge in the completion of something you can only see as a laborious chore. Of course, you can always tell him what you want him to do too, seeing everything done in the end even if that requires your husband to acquire new skills along the way. Just be realistic about the amount of time and effort involved, making sure that he's never stretched too far.

Lists are also useful for men who might allow some of their responsibilities to slip their minds, be that accidentally or otherwise. You can separate his work into separate columns depending on when particular tasks need doing, perhaps daily, weekly and monthly, allowing your husband to see exactly what's expected of him each time. It only takes a minute to run through the relevant list at the start and end of his service, with more complicated schedules easily constructed by the man who will be following them. If Sundays are when the sheets should be changed, and the mattress needs to be turned one month but flipped the next, a note on the calendar is all it takes to stop your maid forgetting, with more occasional chores easily added too. Best of all, once you've trained your husband to work his way through such lists, you only need to write something down in the right place to make it a regular part of his routine - attended to as frequently or infrequently as you feel is needed.

Even if your husband initially does no more than wash the dishes once a week, by gradually extending his responsibilities as he becomes capable of taking on more, you'll eventually be able to count on him for all manner of chores, not to mention making your life better in countless other ways too. It only takes a series of small, simple steps to turn even the most clueless of men into a fully fledged maid, building his skills slowly but surely until you might be forgiven for thinking that helping around the house has always come naturally to him. Of course, that becomes even easier when your husband is dressed the part, with the way in which a maid's uniform helps make cleaning seem like second nature to the man wearing it being the subject of the next chapter.